The prose is not great, maybe a 4/10. It is too emotive and judgemental for encyclopedia standards and needs to be brought dback to NPOV standards. It is also shaky grammatically and there are a number of short paragraphs that need to be expanded.--
Jackyd101 (
talk)
18:17, 7 October 2008 (UTC)reply
The lead does not do an adequate job of introducing Tim Foli - list some career highlights and notable things he has done to expand it a bit more.
a (fair representation): b (all significant views):
"Foli was known as a fiery player who was a reliable fielder, but only an average hitter." - Unless this is a direct quote (in which case it must be sourced), this is an unreliable judgement in the very first sentence.
"Foli's dubious record", "His free swinging did not aim for the fences, however", "Foli hit well when it counted most" - all unsourced commentary in the first paragraph.
More examples of unsourced or unexplained commentary: "Foli posted decent numbers", "was a typical season for Foli", "as well as other intangibles, dropped from World Champions to mediocrity", "when his fiery personality made news." I haven't got them all, so do a thorough sweep through the article.
"At age seventeen, Foli started out poorly" - How so? explain.
It is stable.
It contains
images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
a (tagged and captioned): b (lack of images does not in itself exclude GA): c (non-free images have
fair use rationales):
I will check back in no less than seven days. If progress is being made, the article will remain listed as a
Good article. Otherwise, it may be delisted (such a decision may be challenged through
WP:GAR). If improved after it has been delisted, it may be nominated at
WP:GAN again. Feel free to drop a message on my talk page if you have any questions, and many thanks for all the hard work that has gone into this article thus far. Regards--
Jackyd101 (
talk)
18:17, 7 October 2008 (UTC)reply
The prose is not great, maybe a 4/10. It is too emotive and judgemental for encyclopedia standards and needs to be brought dback to NPOV standards. It is also shaky grammatically and there are a number of short paragraphs that need to be expanded.--
Jackyd101 (
talk)
18:17, 7 October 2008 (UTC)reply
The lead does not do an adequate job of introducing Tim Foli - list some career highlights and notable things he has done to expand it a bit more.
a (fair representation): b (all significant views):
"Foli was known as a fiery player who was a reliable fielder, but only an average hitter." - Unless this is a direct quote (in which case it must be sourced), this is an unreliable judgement in the very first sentence.
"Foli's dubious record", "His free swinging did not aim for the fences, however", "Foli hit well when it counted most" - all unsourced commentary in the first paragraph.
More examples of unsourced or unexplained commentary: "Foli posted decent numbers", "was a typical season for Foli", "as well as other intangibles, dropped from World Champions to mediocrity", "when his fiery personality made news." I haven't got them all, so do a thorough sweep through the article.
"At age seventeen, Foli started out poorly" - How so? explain.
It is stable.
It contains
images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
a (tagged and captioned): b (lack of images does not in itself exclude GA): c (non-free images have
fair use rationales):
I will check back in no less than seven days. If progress is being made, the article will remain listed as a
Good article. Otherwise, it may be delisted (such a decision may be challenged through
WP:GAR). If improved after it has been delisted, it may be nominated at
WP:GAN again. Feel free to drop a message on my talk page if you have any questions, and many thanks for all the hard work that has gone into this article thus far. Regards--
Jackyd101 (
talk)
18:17, 7 October 2008 (UTC)reply