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Reviewer: Commander Keane ( talk · contribs) 08:52, 3 March 2024 (UTC)
I am looking forward to reviewing this article. It is my first GA review. I have lived in Perth previously but I am unfamiliar with the subject. I read and edit on both mobile and desktop so my comments may be influenced by that. I consider suggestions I make to be open to discussion.--
Commander Keane (
talk)
08:52, 3 March 2024 (UTC)
The project is being built- perhaps "is currently being built".
construction of two new stations along the way- perhaps drop the "along the way".
The Thornlie line divergingI would consider adding a "(left)" or "(centre)" to indicate which line is the Thornlie and which is the Armadale.
It was decided to build the Thornlie line though as a...perhaps drop the "though" or add a comma somewhere.
Kewdale White Oil Line- I was not sure what "White Oil Line" is and the source only mentions light crude.
...if it won the 2013 state electionseems a little confusing, is it possible to add somehow that they lost the election, otherwise it implies they won and the plan went ahead.
having a station at Ranford Road and Nicholson Road- should that be "having stations at..."?
Thornlie station was to have its platforms extended to 150 metres- maybe "platform's length extended"
an increase on the $474 million originally promised- maybe say who made the promise here so the reader doesn't have to scroll up to find out.
This one was designed- maybe "The new bridge" would sound more professional.
Between 1997 and 1998, a second...comes out of the blue to me as we are discussing 2021 but then jump back. I would consider rearranging the paragraph as the multiple bridge situation was confusing me. Perhaps start the sentence with "The second bridge at Ranford Road across the railway was built between 1997 and 1998"
...and it is planned to open in 2023. Did it open?
A $243.8 million cost increase- maybe "A further $243.8 million..."
Thornlie line trains stopped at...- maybe "Until temporary closure Thornlie line trains stopped at..."
when they ran every 30 minutes instead- "instead" may be redundant.
which typically skips most...- I think it should be "skip"
Armadale_line#Patronage- I have seen a fancy symbol used instead of "#" in some places in Wikipedia, need to look into that.
on the New MetroRail website archive- could be "on the New MetroRail website (archive)" so the reader at least gets a hint they are not visiting an official website.
This section is devoted to checking the references. I worked from the bottom of the article to the top.
The A-series trains were built between 1991 and 1999 and consist of two cars which are usually joined to form four-car trains. Each car has two doors on each side. The B-series trains were built between 2004 and 2019, consist of three cars each and have two doors on the side of each car- I didn't see this info in the cited sources. Maybe it is there and I missed it. If it is not there it is hardly controversial information, I would just consider moving the "[35][45]: 24" to before the passage I quoted rather than after it.
This made the Thornlie line Transperth's least frequent line.[116]- not sure what the policy is regarding page numbers but the source is 20 pages long so a page number for this fact would be useful.
As of 2021...still holds?
1 kilometre (1 mi)- I would consider adding a decimal place to the conversion. 0.6 mi or whatever.
I am up to here but need to take a break until tomorrow probably.-- Commander Keane ( talk) 08:53, 7 March 2024 (UTC)
An extension of the Thornlie line to link up with the Mandurah line had been proposed several times in the 2010s- source?
Given the article has had some minor changes I will run through it now top to bottom. We are on the final stretch!-- Commander Keane ( talk) 09:51, 9 March 2024 (UTC)
Following the election of the Labor Party in the 2001 state election- "election" is repeated, I would consider changing it to win or something
The Liberal Party won the election though, so that...- I would consider dropping the "though"
through trainsto Through service.
The Thornlie line branch has one station; until the temporary closure, Thornlie line trains stopped at 11 stations in total.- I find this sentence a bit awkward with the semicolon. I would consider replacing the semicolon with a full stop or using a different structure.
Based on the The six good article criteria:
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Reviewer: Commander Keane ( talk · contribs) 08:52, 3 March 2024 (UTC)
I am looking forward to reviewing this article. It is my first GA review. I have lived in Perth previously but I am unfamiliar with the subject. I read and edit on both mobile and desktop so my comments may be influenced by that. I consider suggestions I make to be open to discussion.--
Commander Keane (
talk)
08:52, 3 March 2024 (UTC)
The project is being built- perhaps "is currently being built".
construction of two new stations along the way- perhaps drop the "along the way".
The Thornlie line divergingI would consider adding a "(left)" or "(centre)" to indicate which line is the Thornlie and which is the Armadale.
It was decided to build the Thornlie line though as a...perhaps drop the "though" or add a comma somewhere.
Kewdale White Oil Line- I was not sure what "White Oil Line" is and the source only mentions light crude.
...if it won the 2013 state electionseems a little confusing, is it possible to add somehow that they lost the election, otherwise it implies they won and the plan went ahead.
having a station at Ranford Road and Nicholson Road- should that be "having stations at..."?
Thornlie station was to have its platforms extended to 150 metres- maybe "platform's length extended"
an increase on the $474 million originally promised- maybe say who made the promise here so the reader doesn't have to scroll up to find out.
This one was designed- maybe "The new bridge" would sound more professional.
Between 1997 and 1998, a second...comes out of the blue to me as we are discussing 2021 but then jump back. I would consider rearranging the paragraph as the multiple bridge situation was confusing me. Perhaps start the sentence with "The second bridge at Ranford Road across the railway was built between 1997 and 1998"
...and it is planned to open in 2023. Did it open?
A $243.8 million cost increase- maybe "A further $243.8 million..."
Thornlie line trains stopped at...- maybe "Until temporary closure Thornlie line trains stopped at..."
when they ran every 30 minutes instead- "instead" may be redundant.
which typically skips most...- I think it should be "skip"
Armadale_line#Patronage- I have seen a fancy symbol used instead of "#" in some places in Wikipedia, need to look into that.
on the New MetroRail website archive- could be "on the New MetroRail website (archive)" so the reader at least gets a hint they are not visiting an official website.
This section is devoted to checking the references. I worked from the bottom of the article to the top.
The A-series trains were built between 1991 and 1999 and consist of two cars which are usually joined to form four-car trains. Each car has two doors on each side. The B-series trains were built between 2004 and 2019, consist of three cars each and have two doors on the side of each car- I didn't see this info in the cited sources. Maybe it is there and I missed it. If it is not there it is hardly controversial information, I would just consider moving the "[35][45]: 24" to before the passage I quoted rather than after it.
This made the Thornlie line Transperth's least frequent line.[116]- not sure what the policy is regarding page numbers but the source is 20 pages long so a page number for this fact would be useful.
As of 2021...still holds?
1 kilometre (1 mi)- I would consider adding a decimal place to the conversion. 0.6 mi or whatever.
I am up to here but need to take a break until tomorrow probably.-- Commander Keane ( talk) 08:53, 7 March 2024 (UTC)
An extension of the Thornlie line to link up with the Mandurah line had been proposed several times in the 2010s- source?
Given the article has had some minor changes I will run through it now top to bottom. We are on the final stretch!-- Commander Keane ( talk) 09:51, 9 March 2024 (UTC)
Following the election of the Labor Party in the 2001 state election- "election" is repeated, I would consider changing it to win or something
The Liberal Party won the election though, so that...- I would consider dropping the "though"
through trainsto Through service.
The Thornlie line branch has one station; until the temporary closure, Thornlie line trains stopped at 11 stations in total.- I find this sentence a bit awkward with the semicolon. I would consider replacing the semicolon with a full stop or using a different structure.
Based on the The six good article criteria: