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Reviewer: Eric Corbett ( talk · contribs) 21:12, 20 June 2013 (UTC)
Comments to follow over the next day or so.
Life
"In 1786, with a position that brought him reasonable financial security ...".I'm not quite sure what you're trying to get at with that "with a position that brought him financial security". What position? Do you mean that by 1786 he was financially secure and could therefore afford to marry?
"... along with a stiff paragraph at the end of the Preface".What's a "stiff paragraph"? And why is "Preface capitalised?
"Bewick immediately started work on the second volume, Water Birds, but the disagreement over authorship led to a final split with Beilby, Bewick showing his inability to control his feelings and resolve issues quietly, and the partnership ended, turbulently and expensively, leaving Bewick with his own workshop."That sentence needs to be split.
"Bewick brought out the second volume, Water Birds, in 1804, without Beilby ..."Isn't it obvious that Beilby wasn't involved from what's gone before?
"In April 1827, the American naturalist and bird painter John James Audubon came to Britain to find a suitable printer for his enormous Birds of America, almost the opposite of Bewick's small woodcuts"In what way the opposite? And why are we comparing Audubon's book with Bewick's woodcuts?
"He had wished to encourage the Northumbrian smallpipes ..."Why "had wished", which implies that he didn't actually do it?
"Bewick had to pay the large sum of £20 in lawyer's fees ..."£20 doesn't seem like a large sum today, so maybe including an inflation-adjusted modern equivalent would be good.
"He was buried in Ovingham churchyard, with his wife Isabella".Do we know when Isabella died?
Technique
"This proved to be far superior, and has been the dominant method used since."Far superior to what? Is this really necessary, as the previous sentence has already explained that Bewick's technique allowed for greater detail. Dominant method since when?
A General History of Quadrupeds
"including anything from "Adive" to "Zorilla"Not sure about that "including everything". Everything?
"The book's coverage is erratic, including bats and seals, but not whales or dolphins."It seems unremarkable that whales or dolphins aren't included, as they're not quadrupeds.
A History of British Birds
"Many of the illustrations most frequently reproduced at the present day are vignettes and tailpieces at the bottoms of the pages of the original.I don't understand that sentence at all. What does "reproduced at the present day" mean? Where else would the vignettes and tailpieces have been if not on the pages of the original? Reproduced where?
References
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Reviewer: Eric Corbett ( talk · contribs) 21:12, 20 June 2013 (UTC)
Comments to follow over the next day or so.
Life
"In 1786, with a position that brought him reasonable financial security ...".I'm not quite sure what you're trying to get at with that "with a position that brought him financial security". What position? Do you mean that by 1786 he was financially secure and could therefore afford to marry?
"... along with a stiff paragraph at the end of the Preface".What's a "stiff paragraph"? And why is "Preface capitalised?
"Bewick immediately started work on the second volume, Water Birds, but the disagreement over authorship led to a final split with Beilby, Bewick showing his inability to control his feelings and resolve issues quietly, and the partnership ended, turbulently and expensively, leaving Bewick with his own workshop."That sentence needs to be split.
"Bewick brought out the second volume, Water Birds, in 1804, without Beilby ..."Isn't it obvious that Beilby wasn't involved from what's gone before?
"In April 1827, the American naturalist and bird painter John James Audubon came to Britain to find a suitable printer for his enormous Birds of America, almost the opposite of Bewick's small woodcuts"In what way the opposite? And why are we comparing Audubon's book with Bewick's woodcuts?
"He had wished to encourage the Northumbrian smallpipes ..."Why "had wished", which implies that he didn't actually do it?
"Bewick had to pay the large sum of £20 in lawyer's fees ..."£20 doesn't seem like a large sum today, so maybe including an inflation-adjusted modern equivalent would be good.
"He was buried in Ovingham churchyard, with his wife Isabella".Do we know when Isabella died?
Technique
"This proved to be far superior, and has been the dominant method used since."Far superior to what? Is this really necessary, as the previous sentence has already explained that Bewick's technique allowed for greater detail. Dominant method since when?
A General History of Quadrupeds
"including anything from "Adive" to "Zorilla"Not sure about that "including everything". Everything?
"The book's coverage is erratic, including bats and seals, but not whales or dolphins."It seems unremarkable that whales or dolphins aren't included, as they're not quadrupeds.
A History of British Birds
"Many of the illustrations most frequently reproduced at the present day are vignettes and tailpieces at the bottoms of the pages of the original.I don't understand that sentence at all. What does "reproduced at the present day" mean? Where else would the vignettes and tailpieces have been if not on the pages of the original? Reproduced where?
References