The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: ArcticSeeress ( talk · contribs) 01:46, 4 July 2023 (UTC)
Hello, DannyMusicEditor. I saw that this nomination had been in limbo for over half a year, so I thought I'd tackle it. I'm ArcticSeeress, and I'll be reviewing this article. I currently have another review on hold, so if that one continues anytime soon, I might leave this one for a bit. Anyway, I'll look forward to working with you. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 01:46, 4 July 2023 (UTC)
described his injuries in an Instagram post; they included...- The "they" here is ambiguous, and the following sentence sounds kind of stilted. Maybe it's best to just remove the semicolon with something like this: "described his injuries in an Instagram post, which included".
adding to fan speculation- This is not in the source. Either find one that states this, or remove it altogether.
the rest of the songs avoids overt references to the bus collision- The source doesn't state this (as far as I can see anyway)
"Aftermath", the album's most personal song- The source does not state this.
before showing Vigil performing at the site of the accident- The source states that it "appears to be" the same stretch. Maybe find a more definitive source.
The next day, the band announced they had dismissed Riley.- The source does not state that. It says that they "parted ways", which might be slightly euphemistic or purposefully vague, but it's better than anything else.
Riley returned to the group in September- This is not stated in the source (which might be obvious, considering it was written in June)
I'll probably come back to the reception section once I feel comfortable with the quotations. Anyways, a checklist of the GA criteria will follow shortly. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 03:38, 4 July 2023 (UTC)
I believe I have everything covered now. dannymusiceditor oops 06:02, 8 July 2023 (UTC)
This article doesn't seem particularly far from passing as long as the above concerns are addressed. Good work so far. As stated above, I'll probably look over the reception section again once that is done. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 03:49, 4 July 2023 (UTC)
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewing |
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Reviewer: ArcticSeeress ( talk · contribs) 01:46, 4 July 2023 (UTC)
Hello, DannyMusicEditor. I saw that this nomination had been in limbo for over half a year, so I thought I'd tackle it. I'm ArcticSeeress, and I'll be reviewing this article. I currently have another review on hold, so if that one continues anytime soon, I might leave this one for a bit. Anyway, I'll look forward to working with you. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 01:46, 4 July 2023 (UTC)
described his injuries in an Instagram post; they included...- The "they" here is ambiguous, and the following sentence sounds kind of stilted. Maybe it's best to just remove the semicolon with something like this: "described his injuries in an Instagram post, which included".
adding to fan speculation- This is not in the source. Either find one that states this, or remove it altogether.
the rest of the songs avoids overt references to the bus collision- The source doesn't state this (as far as I can see anyway)
"Aftermath", the album's most personal song- The source does not state this.
before showing Vigil performing at the site of the accident- The source states that it "appears to be" the same stretch. Maybe find a more definitive source.
The next day, the band announced they had dismissed Riley.- The source does not state that. It says that they "parted ways", which might be slightly euphemistic or purposefully vague, but it's better than anything else.
Riley returned to the group in September- This is not stated in the source (which might be obvious, considering it was written in June)
I'll probably come back to the reception section once I feel comfortable with the quotations. Anyways, a checklist of the GA criteria will follow shortly. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 03:38, 4 July 2023 (UTC)
I believe I have everything covered now. dannymusiceditor oops 06:02, 8 July 2023 (UTC)
This article doesn't seem particularly far from passing as long as the above concerns are addressed. Good work so far. As stated above, I'll probably look over the reception section again once that is done. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 03:49, 4 July 2023 (UTC)