A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
Fairly well-written article. I'd say the prose in its 1st half is better than the 2nd. For example, I'd weave in the content from the short sections into other parts of the article. I'll be more specific later.
I don't have the offline resources you use, but I'm willing to AGF that they're okay. I'm only concerned about 2 sources. The Carpenters' webpage: you might want to try and find other sources for what it supports, mostly because of
WP:SPS. Also, I suggest removing ref 32; it's badly written and you have another better source for it. The dating system you use (mmddyy) is fine and consistent, although personally I approve the ddmmyy system. But don't change it on my account! ;)
I just ran this article through the copyvio detector, and it didn't fare well. I suggest that you run it yourself, and then make the appropriate adjustments. I compared the 1st ref listed, and much of it was titles of songs and awards, but it's always a good idea. If you go through it and make very little changes on that basis, I'll AGF and accept it.
It'd be very easy to go off into excessive detail about the Carpenters' illnesses, but you don't. I wonder, though, if you could discuss more about how Karen's death brought more awareness about eating disorders. (This is just an idea; I won't hold you to it.)
The prose is fairly strong; like I say above, the quality doesn't decline until late in the article.
The Singles: Agnes had always considered Richard to be her favorite child, which did not sit well with Karen. This sentence confuses me. Did Karen just found out that Agnes preferred Richard over her, or was it something that had just come up in their family dynamic? If so, why? What does "did not sit well with Karen" mean?
I've rewritten this sentence. The essential gist is that the family expected Richard to be a concert pianist and was the "star", while Karen was just "the other one".
Ritchie333(talk)(cont)08:03, 4 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Horizon: By this time, Karen was visibly unwell... Again, unclear sentence. How was she "visibly unwell"?
I don't have the books I originally used to improve this any more, but I don't believe any of the high-quality sources go into any detail. I think Karen just threw herself headfirst into marriage thinking it was a "grown up" thing to do and move on a bit from their family-friendly image, and it inevitably backfired. However, it sounds a bit too tabloidish to go into this depth. Given Tom Burriss' name was changed in the film, and Richard isn't too keen to bring him up in the duo's history any more than necessary, I think we've got the right level of adherence to
WP:BLP as it is.
Ritchie333(talk)(cont)08:03, 4 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Influences: I don't believe in one-sentence sections, as per
MOS:PARA. Perhaps you can put it in the next section, about Richard's musical style, since he was "responsible for the group's sound"?
I didn't add this (it might have been when I was on a brief wikibreak earlier this year and not paying attention), and it's not cited to a particularly good source. Removed.
Ritchie333(talk)(cont)08:03, 4 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Public image: From the start of their career, the Carpenters were coached in interviews... Who coached them and why did they listen?
The management and the record company; they listened, because they realised there was a market for middle-class conservative clean-cut apple-pie Nixon voting record buyers which the underground and psychedelic bands popular in the late 60s didn't cater for. I've added a bit to the paragraph in question.
Ritchie333(talk)(cont)08:03, 4 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Note h: Why is their opinion about marijuana important? Perhaps you can explain; for example, you can say that their views on drug use where more liberal than their image would suggest, and why. Did they have other liberal views, like what did they think about Vietnam and civil rights? You say that they "privately" favor the legalization of marijuana, but they state it in People Magazine. They talk about other things in that article, too; why not include them?
Logo: Again, this section is too short. I doubt that you'd be able to expand it, so I suggest that you fold it into another section, perhaps in the "Carpenters and A Song for You" section or in the "Promotion and touring" or even "Public image", since it fits with their squeaky-cleanness.
Karen's anorexia - research has uncovered the fact, fairly recently, that eating disorders are much more common in female children who were born in the spring, the reason being that the last trimester was during the winter when the mother's vitamin D level would be at its nadir, the worst month to be born in is March, which was indeed when Karen was born. Here is a link from Psychology Today:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201107/season-birth-and-anorexia.
That's all; not a lot, and most of it picky. I will pass to GA once the above issues have been addressed. Thanks, that was fun, and not as complicated as I thought. It was fun; I love the Carpenters and am not ashamed to admit it! ;)
Christine (Figureskatingfan) (
talk)
23:21, 30 July 2018 (UTC)reply
Just a quick holding reply; as suggested on my talk page I am not on-wiki much over the next couple of days, so it’ll probably be the weekend before I get a chance to look at these.
Ritchie333(talk)(cont)05:35, 1 August 2018 (UTC)reply
I see that you've addressed the main issues; I was really reaching for things, so I appreciate your willingness to take my few suggestions. I fixed a missing semi-colon and fixed the caption for the Carpenters logo. Nice job; you're good to go for a GA. Congrats!
Christine (Figureskatingfan) (
talk)
01:13, 5 August 2018 (UTC)reply
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
Fairly well-written article. I'd say the prose in its 1st half is better than the 2nd. For example, I'd weave in the content from the short sections into other parts of the article. I'll be more specific later.
I don't have the offline resources you use, but I'm willing to AGF that they're okay. I'm only concerned about 2 sources. The Carpenters' webpage: you might want to try and find other sources for what it supports, mostly because of
WP:SPS. Also, I suggest removing ref 32; it's badly written and you have another better source for it. The dating system you use (mmddyy) is fine and consistent, although personally I approve the ddmmyy system. But don't change it on my account! ;)
I just ran this article through the copyvio detector, and it didn't fare well. I suggest that you run it yourself, and then make the appropriate adjustments. I compared the 1st ref listed, and much of it was titles of songs and awards, but it's always a good idea. If you go through it and make very little changes on that basis, I'll AGF and accept it.
It'd be very easy to go off into excessive detail about the Carpenters' illnesses, but you don't. I wonder, though, if you could discuss more about how Karen's death brought more awareness about eating disorders. (This is just an idea; I won't hold you to it.)
The prose is fairly strong; like I say above, the quality doesn't decline until late in the article.
The Singles: Agnes had always considered Richard to be her favorite child, which did not sit well with Karen. This sentence confuses me. Did Karen just found out that Agnes preferred Richard over her, or was it something that had just come up in their family dynamic? If so, why? What does "did not sit well with Karen" mean?
I've rewritten this sentence. The essential gist is that the family expected Richard to be a concert pianist and was the "star", while Karen was just "the other one".
Ritchie333(talk)(cont)08:03, 4 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Horizon: By this time, Karen was visibly unwell... Again, unclear sentence. How was she "visibly unwell"?
I don't have the books I originally used to improve this any more, but I don't believe any of the high-quality sources go into any detail. I think Karen just threw herself headfirst into marriage thinking it was a "grown up" thing to do and move on a bit from their family-friendly image, and it inevitably backfired. However, it sounds a bit too tabloidish to go into this depth. Given Tom Burriss' name was changed in the film, and Richard isn't too keen to bring him up in the duo's history any more than necessary, I think we've got the right level of adherence to
WP:BLP as it is.
Ritchie333(talk)(cont)08:03, 4 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Influences: I don't believe in one-sentence sections, as per
MOS:PARA. Perhaps you can put it in the next section, about Richard's musical style, since he was "responsible for the group's sound"?
I didn't add this (it might have been when I was on a brief wikibreak earlier this year and not paying attention), and it's not cited to a particularly good source. Removed.
Ritchie333(talk)(cont)08:03, 4 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Public image: From the start of their career, the Carpenters were coached in interviews... Who coached them and why did they listen?
The management and the record company; they listened, because they realised there was a market for middle-class conservative clean-cut apple-pie Nixon voting record buyers which the underground and psychedelic bands popular in the late 60s didn't cater for. I've added a bit to the paragraph in question.
Ritchie333(talk)(cont)08:03, 4 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Note h: Why is their opinion about marijuana important? Perhaps you can explain; for example, you can say that their views on drug use where more liberal than their image would suggest, and why. Did they have other liberal views, like what did they think about Vietnam and civil rights? You say that they "privately" favor the legalization of marijuana, but they state it in People Magazine. They talk about other things in that article, too; why not include them?
Logo: Again, this section is too short. I doubt that you'd be able to expand it, so I suggest that you fold it into another section, perhaps in the "Carpenters and A Song for You" section or in the "Promotion and touring" or even "Public image", since it fits with their squeaky-cleanness.
Karen's anorexia - research has uncovered the fact, fairly recently, that eating disorders are much more common in female children who were born in the spring, the reason being that the last trimester was during the winter when the mother's vitamin D level would be at its nadir, the worst month to be born in is March, which was indeed when Karen was born. Here is a link from Psychology Today:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201107/season-birth-and-anorexia.
That's all; not a lot, and most of it picky. I will pass to GA once the above issues have been addressed. Thanks, that was fun, and not as complicated as I thought. It was fun; I love the Carpenters and am not ashamed to admit it! ;)
Christine (Figureskatingfan) (
talk)
23:21, 30 July 2018 (UTC)reply
Just a quick holding reply; as suggested on my talk page I am not on-wiki much over the next couple of days, so it’ll probably be the weekend before I get a chance to look at these.
Ritchie333(talk)(cont)05:35, 1 August 2018 (UTC)reply
I see that you've addressed the main issues; I was really reaching for things, so I appreciate your willingness to take my few suggestions. I fixed a missing semi-colon and fixed the caption for the Carpenters logo. Nice job; you're good to go for a GA. Congrats!
Christine (Figureskatingfan) (
talk)
01:13, 5 August 2018 (UTC)reply