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Is it just me, or does the plot summary seem pretty choppy and kinda looks like it was written on a pretty basic reading level? I mean, there are just too many sentences, and all of them are really short, so, quoting Zim, "it looks kinda... not good." So I guess I'm gonna fix it. Henshin-A-Go-Go 22:44, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
Update: I fixed it. Here is before:
The pilot episode featured the Boo Crew's madness over a pair of sneakers. The crew was at the local swimming pool. The gang then went home. D-Roc felt that he needed cool shoes to be popular. His mother didn't want him to buy the expensive shoes, so she went to the mall's second-hand store and then to Mr. Johnson's supermarket to buy him cheaper shoes. These shoes still didn't satisfy D-Roc. D-Roc asked Sue if she would make him a pair of shoes. She did and they looked just like the shoes he wanted. He fantasized that Mr. Johnson's daughter would notice him more if he wore these shoes. The Boo Crew decided they could make money selling knock-off shoes. They sold the shoes around the city but the shoes started to fall apart. D-Roc was called into Principal Everson's office about the shoes. D-Roc decided he didn't need cool shoes to be popular. After he started wearing his old shoes, Mr. Johnson's daughter took interest in him.
And this is after:
The pilot episode featured the Boo Crew's madness over a pair of sneakers, the Air Jareds (a parody of Air Jordans. The crew was at the local swimming pool, which closed down for school, forcing the gang to go home, and allowing Chad to attempt to skateboard in it, failing miserably. D-Roc felt that he needed the Air Jareds to be popular, but because of their $150 price tag, his mother refused to buy them. They then went to the bargain store in the bottom of the mall, with D-Roc's mother joining in the scuffle for discount items. After not finding any shoes, they then went to Mr. Johnson's discount store, where D-Roc's mother tells him pick out a pair of "Air Johnsons," with D-Roc claiming that the smell like meat. Unfortunately, he was forced to get them, which led to him trying in vain to get rid of the Air Johnsons. Later, as D-Roc was sitting the steps in front of the apartment building, Sue and her family arrived from the store. She notices that D-Roc is unhappy, which leads him to explain to her his situation, with Sue then saying that she can make them for him. He then gives her the Air Johnsons. The next day, Sue arrives with his shoes, explaining that they weren't free, asking him for $50. He fantasized that Mr. Johnson's daughter would notice him more if he wore these shoes. After a smal "fashion show" at their school, the Boo Crew realizes that since the bootlegged Air Jareds were so popular, they could make a lot of money selling them. They sold the shoes around the city, but due to the poor construction (using highly flammable glue, honey, Dirty's snot, and bubble gum to adhere the soles to the bottom), the shoes started to fall apart. After a scene showing the side-effects of the shoes, D-Roc and Sue were called into Principal Eyeverson's office. After giving everyone their refunds, D-Roc realizes that he doesn't need cool shoes to be popular. After wearing the Air Johnsons to school, Mr. Johnson's daughter took interest in him, saying that he was the "first and only" person to wear them.
Much better, eh? Henshin-A-Go-Go 23:12, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
I have removed the following paragraph, originally posted as a Criticism section:
There are a number of things wrong with this:
Thanks, Gwernol 11:42, 13 August 2006 (UTC)
Why are the jews promoting a culture of ignorance and crime instead of one of intelligence?
Just a quick note to cover what I've done to this article. A lot of the information was not needed and placed in spots that made little sense. I consolodated everything, cut the music lists and the trivia section (the trivia section seemed to refer to a single special, but didn't say which one). It's a better stub now. -- Lendorien 16:19, 3 July 2007 (UTC)
![]() | This article was nominated for deletion on August 12, 2006. The result of the discussion was keep. |
![]() | This article is rated Start-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | |||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Is it just me, or does the plot summary seem pretty choppy and kinda looks like it was written on a pretty basic reading level? I mean, there are just too many sentences, and all of them are really short, so, quoting Zim, "it looks kinda... not good." So I guess I'm gonna fix it. Henshin-A-Go-Go 22:44, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
Update: I fixed it. Here is before:
The pilot episode featured the Boo Crew's madness over a pair of sneakers. The crew was at the local swimming pool. The gang then went home. D-Roc felt that he needed cool shoes to be popular. His mother didn't want him to buy the expensive shoes, so she went to the mall's second-hand store and then to Mr. Johnson's supermarket to buy him cheaper shoes. These shoes still didn't satisfy D-Roc. D-Roc asked Sue if she would make him a pair of shoes. She did and they looked just like the shoes he wanted. He fantasized that Mr. Johnson's daughter would notice him more if he wore these shoes. The Boo Crew decided they could make money selling knock-off shoes. They sold the shoes around the city but the shoes started to fall apart. D-Roc was called into Principal Everson's office about the shoes. D-Roc decided he didn't need cool shoes to be popular. After he started wearing his old shoes, Mr. Johnson's daughter took interest in him.
And this is after:
The pilot episode featured the Boo Crew's madness over a pair of sneakers, the Air Jareds (a parody of Air Jordans. The crew was at the local swimming pool, which closed down for school, forcing the gang to go home, and allowing Chad to attempt to skateboard in it, failing miserably. D-Roc felt that he needed the Air Jareds to be popular, but because of their $150 price tag, his mother refused to buy them. They then went to the bargain store in the bottom of the mall, with D-Roc's mother joining in the scuffle for discount items. After not finding any shoes, they then went to Mr. Johnson's discount store, where D-Roc's mother tells him pick out a pair of "Air Johnsons," with D-Roc claiming that the smell like meat. Unfortunately, he was forced to get them, which led to him trying in vain to get rid of the Air Johnsons. Later, as D-Roc was sitting the steps in front of the apartment building, Sue and her family arrived from the store. She notices that D-Roc is unhappy, which leads him to explain to her his situation, with Sue then saying that she can make them for him. He then gives her the Air Johnsons. The next day, Sue arrives with his shoes, explaining that they weren't free, asking him for $50. He fantasized that Mr. Johnson's daughter would notice him more if he wore these shoes. After a smal "fashion show" at their school, the Boo Crew realizes that since the bootlegged Air Jareds were so popular, they could make a lot of money selling them. They sold the shoes around the city, but due to the poor construction (using highly flammable glue, honey, Dirty's snot, and bubble gum to adhere the soles to the bottom), the shoes started to fall apart. After a scene showing the side-effects of the shoes, D-Roc and Sue were called into Principal Eyeverson's office. After giving everyone their refunds, D-Roc realizes that he doesn't need cool shoes to be popular. After wearing the Air Johnsons to school, Mr. Johnson's daughter took interest in him, saying that he was the "first and only" person to wear them.
Much better, eh? Henshin-A-Go-Go 23:12, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
I have removed the following paragraph, originally posted as a Criticism section:
There are a number of things wrong with this:
Thanks, Gwernol 11:42, 13 August 2006 (UTC)
Why are the jews promoting a culture of ignorance and crime instead of one of intelligence?
Just a quick note to cover what I've done to this article. A lot of the information was not needed and placed in spots that made little sense. I consolodated everything, cut the music lists and the trivia section (the trivia section seemed to refer to a single special, but didn't say which one). It's a better stub now. -- Lendorien 16:19, 3 July 2007 (UTC)