MOS is fine, but the prose in your plot summary needs some work. You'll want a comma after "New York", remove one in "he says, 'it has arrived'", take out the "a" in "he greets her with a 'Hello Liv'", and replace "advanced sort of stun gun" with "hi-tech", "futuristic" or just "advanced" - the "sort of" seems very informal. Also why does Peter need to be kept awake? This isn't explained in the article.
I made most of the changes you suggested (the plot was written by someone else, so I have that excuse!) And which part about Peter being kept awake is confusing? Sorry, I just don't see which part you are referring to. :)
Ruby2010talk02:44, 3 April 2011 (UTC)reply
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have
fair use rationales:
B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with
suitable captions:
Images are used well and are sourced correctly.
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
Going to stick this on hold until the first point above is seen to. I know you're a pretty prompt editor so this is probably going to be little more than a formality, but I'd rather not rubber-stamp a pass when it can shored up first.|Going to stick this on hold until the first point above is seen to. I know you're a pretty prompt editor so this is probably going to be little more than a formality, but I'd rather not rubber-stamp a pass when it can shored up first.
MOS is fine, but the prose in your plot summary needs some work. You'll want a comma after "New York", remove one in "he says, 'it has arrived'", take out the "a" in "he greets her with a 'Hello Liv'", and replace "advanced sort of stun gun" with "hi-tech", "futuristic" or just "advanced" - the "sort of" seems very informal. Also why does Peter need to be kept awake? This isn't explained in the article.
I made most of the changes you suggested (the plot was written by someone else, so I have that excuse!) And which part about Peter being kept awake is confusing? Sorry, I just don't see which part you are referring to. :)
Ruby2010talk02:44, 3 April 2011 (UTC)reply
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have
fair use rationales:
B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with
suitable captions:
Images are used well and are sourced correctly.
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
Going to stick this on hold until the first point above is seen to. I know you're a pretty prompt editor so this is probably going to be little more than a formality, but I'd rather not rubber-stamp a pass when it can shored up first.|Going to stick this on hold until the first point above is seen to. I know you're a pretty prompt editor so this is probably going to be little more than a formality, but I'd rather not rubber-stamp a pass when it can shored up first.