In the lead sentence, the second "is" is redundant. Also, after taking that "is" out, in the comma needed?
Not needed, but if you're really bored, you can go through and unlink all the dates. Also, particularly in the lead, some dates are linked while others are not. Make this consistent. (again not needed)
"…followed the results of a…" is that "results" or "result"?
"On May 3, 1921 and on June 1, 1926…" the second "on" is redundant.
The first sentence of the fourth paragraph is a bit messed up.
The second sentence of the third paragraph is a bit long, and "site" is used twice in the second half of the sentence.
In the last sentence of the lead,
Jew and
African American are linked, but Hispanic and Asian aren't. I would unlink the first two.
Clarify, did Oratam lead all Lenape's or only the Lenape's in the area?
Why did the troubles stop persisting in 1655?
George Washington is linked in the lead, it doesn't need to be linked in "The Revolutionary War period".
"…Washington's famous withdrawal…" famous is definitely
WP:WEASEL
New Bridge Landing is linked both in the lead and "The Revolutionary War period"
Remove "The" from section headings
Does "…,and Teaneck was right in the middle of it" really need to be there?
"…were aroused at mid-century…" the middle of which century?
For the last sentence of "The Revolutionary War period", how about this: "They traveled daily to New York City, thus becoming Teaneck's first suburban
commuters." The current version seems a bit wordy.
"…central part being a tract crisscrossed by roads…" I think "tract" is a bit ambiguous/redundant.
"…put through the New Jersey General Assembly on February 18, 1895 and in the…" take out "in"
Some instances of "African American" are hyphenated while others aren't; make this consistent.
"…in the Northeast corner…" Lowercase "Northeast".
"…near the Bryant School…" take out "the".
Too many "and"s in the "Historic homes" section.
Link all of the "Historic homes"; even if they don't have articles, NRHP places are notable and the articles will be created eventually.
Mm40 (
talk)
21:07, 27 September 2009 (UTC)reply
No where in the article is in mentioned where Teaneck is (north, south).
"…of which, 6.05 square miles (15.67 km2) of it is land and 0.20 square miles (0.52 km2) of it (3.20%) is water." I think both "of it"s can be taken out. I'll leave it up to you where to put the water percentage.
Directions shouldn't be capitalized unless they are part of place names (i. e. West Orange is west of Orange).
"municipally owned" should be hyphenated.
"…such as Chicago…" can be removed, I think people will understand what inland means.
All items listed in this section have been addressed. Post office image was moved; The number of households is listed tqice to show how the number breaks down and is a standard loaded for population data nationwide.
Alansohn (
talk)
16:39, 30 September 2009 (UTC)reply
Economy
There's no article for "Streetscape project", so you may want to elaborate a bit.
I think the lead can be improved. I'd put the last paragraph, about history, as the second paragraph. Also, what's now the second paragraph can be made longer. Perhaps add an overview of historic/important sites, anything notable about arts and culture, etc.
Mm40 (
talk)
12:51, 27 September 2009 (UTC)reply
After me telling you on your talk page to fix dead links, most are done. There is still one,
Teaneck Community Calender, which isn't working. After this is fixed and I check over images, I'll close this review. Cheers,
Mm40 (
talk)
11:31, 1 October 2009 (UTC)reply
No image issues, last things: there is one {{fact}} and a couple of unreferenced paragraphs in the "History" section. As per procedure, I'm giving you seven days to fix these.
Mm40 (
talk)
11:40, 1 October 2009 (UTC)reply
In the lead sentence, the second "is" is redundant. Also, after taking that "is" out, in the comma needed?
Not needed, but if you're really bored, you can go through and unlink all the dates. Also, particularly in the lead, some dates are linked while others are not. Make this consistent. (again not needed)
"…followed the results of a…" is that "results" or "result"?
"On May 3, 1921 and on June 1, 1926…" the second "on" is redundant.
The first sentence of the fourth paragraph is a bit messed up.
The second sentence of the third paragraph is a bit long, and "site" is used twice in the second half of the sentence.
In the last sentence of the lead,
Jew and
African American are linked, but Hispanic and Asian aren't. I would unlink the first two.
Clarify, did Oratam lead all Lenape's or only the Lenape's in the area?
Why did the troubles stop persisting in 1655?
George Washington is linked in the lead, it doesn't need to be linked in "The Revolutionary War period".
"…Washington's famous withdrawal…" famous is definitely
WP:WEASEL
New Bridge Landing is linked both in the lead and "The Revolutionary War period"
Remove "The" from section headings
Does "…,and Teaneck was right in the middle of it" really need to be there?
"…were aroused at mid-century…" the middle of which century?
For the last sentence of "The Revolutionary War period", how about this: "They traveled daily to New York City, thus becoming Teaneck's first suburban
commuters." The current version seems a bit wordy.
"…central part being a tract crisscrossed by roads…" I think "tract" is a bit ambiguous/redundant.
"…put through the New Jersey General Assembly on February 18, 1895 and in the…" take out "in"
Some instances of "African American" are hyphenated while others aren't; make this consistent.
"…in the Northeast corner…" Lowercase "Northeast".
"…near the Bryant School…" take out "the".
Too many "and"s in the "Historic homes" section.
Link all of the "Historic homes"; even if they don't have articles, NRHP places are notable and the articles will be created eventually.
Mm40 (
talk)
21:07, 27 September 2009 (UTC)reply
No where in the article is in mentioned where Teaneck is (north, south).
"…of which, 6.05 square miles (15.67 km2) of it is land and 0.20 square miles (0.52 km2) of it (3.20%) is water." I think both "of it"s can be taken out. I'll leave it up to you where to put the water percentage.
Directions shouldn't be capitalized unless they are part of place names (i. e. West Orange is west of Orange).
"municipally owned" should be hyphenated.
"…such as Chicago…" can be removed, I think people will understand what inland means.
All items listed in this section have been addressed. Post office image was moved; The number of households is listed tqice to show how the number breaks down and is a standard loaded for population data nationwide.
Alansohn (
talk)
16:39, 30 September 2009 (UTC)reply
Economy
There's no article for "Streetscape project", so you may want to elaborate a bit.
I think the lead can be improved. I'd put the last paragraph, about history, as the second paragraph. Also, what's now the second paragraph can be made longer. Perhaps add an overview of historic/important sites, anything notable about arts and culture, etc.
Mm40 (
talk)
12:51, 27 September 2009 (UTC)reply
After me telling you on your talk page to fix dead links, most are done. There is still one,
Teaneck Community Calender, which isn't working. After this is fixed and I check over images, I'll close this review. Cheers,
Mm40 (
talk)
11:31, 1 October 2009 (UTC)reply
No image issues, last things: there is one {{fact}} and a couple of unreferenced paragraphs in the "History" section. As per procedure, I'm giving you seven days to fix these.
Mm40 (
talk)
11:40, 1 October 2009 (UTC)reply