The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: Launchballer ( talk · contribs) 08:25, 13 April 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Sammi Brie ( talk · contribs) 15:57, 21 July 2024 (UTC)
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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
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Overall: |
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Lots of copy tweaks to make, but a really solid start. Two minor source things to fix as well. Ping me when done. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 19:33, 21 July 2024 (UTC)
Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.
- Titles of podcasts should be italicized. (There are three in the article, one in the lead and two further down, that need to be italicized.)
- Fixed.
- She was born deaf, and was initially fitted for hearing aids, before being given a single cochlear implant at Bradford Royal Infirmary just before her fifth birthday which lasted until she was sixteen and went unreplaced for five months; she later underwent speech therapy, and was unable to speak until she was five, having communicated entirely in British Sign Language until that point. What a sentence! Split this, possibly into three. Also watch for WP:CINS; I see it a few places here and in the rest of the article and will point it out.
- Split into three.
- Ghouri took up ballet aged three, and would copy the choreography of her parents' copy of the Steps album
- CINS (remove comma)
- Fixed.
- "Copy the choreography of her parents' copy"... Woof. Consider rewording.
- For now, changed the second 'copy' to 'edition'. I'll take another look in the morning.
- On second thoughts, I don't think the second 'copy' is the problem, so changed it back and changed the first to 'replicate'.
- For now, changed the second 'copy' to 'edition'. I'll take another look in the morning.
- After graduating, she moved to London, and signed to a modelling agency, and worked as a... Double CINS. Try After graduating, she moved to London, signed to a modelling agency and worked as a...
- Fixed.
podcast that she had previously applied for Too Hot to Handle, but had been told that she "weren't right" for the programme
- CinS remove comma
- Fixed.
- Maybe "was told"
- "she weren't"? Try a [wasn't] in brackets depending on context from the original quote.
- Changed to 'she was not', thereby taking the quote out.
- Consider "hard-of-hearing" hyphenated as an adjective
- Fixed.
- She later dated Giovanni Pernice after the pair connected via Instagram, and met in January 2022, though their try She later dated Giovanni Pernice after the pair connected via Instagram; they met in January 2022, though their
- Fixed.
- Mind your British English: that should be programme
- Fixed.
- She later became an ambassador for Ann Summers, for whom she featured in their Christmas advert and fronted their Luminescent collection, Sisters & Seekers, a Llay-based fashion label, and Lullabellz, a Manchester-based hair extension brand. This list is in bad need of semicolons because its list entries contain commas. She later became an ambassador for Ann Summers, for whom she featured in their Christmas advert and fronted their Luminescent collection; Sisters & Seekers, a Llay-based fashion label; and Lullabellz, a Manchester-based hair extension brand.
- Fixed.
- Appearing on that day's Lorraine, Ghouri explained that she wanted to upload a video to that effect since leaving Love Island, but had not felt ready. Remove second comma (CinS)
- Fixed.
- Is there a better source than The Media Eye, a PR firm, for the LullaBellz item?
- I would have said this was fine as it was being used only for what Lullabellz was (the actual BLP bit of her being involved used a different source), but replaced with The Manc.
- 14: I initially missed this because I didn't realize that the name I was looking for was "Sense".
- 21:
But within hours of recoupling it was clear Andrew still had feelings for his former partner, Tasha Ghouri, and he quickly cooled things off with Coco,
- 32:
Ghouri revealed her new role as the marketplace’s “pre-loved ambassador” in a post to Instagram.
Partial verification: it is not said that she is the first for them, just that she is one.
- Replaced with Grazia.
- 42:
Scarlett Moffatt and Stacey Solomon featured as team captains, while guests of the most recent season included Katherine Ryan, Big Brother presenter Will Best, EastEnders' Danielle Harold, Love Island's Tasha Ghouri, and Emmerdale's Danny Miller.
- 44:
Encouragement: Convert {{ Citation}} (CS2) to {{ Cite AV media}} (CS1) for YouTube to be more aligned with the other CS1 citations throughout.
- Fixed.
The lone image is cropped from a CC-BY upload by the UK government.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Nominator: Launchballer ( talk · contribs) 08:25, 13 April 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Sammi Brie ( talk · contribs) 15:57, 21 July 2024 (UTC)
|
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
|---|
|
|
Overall: |
|
·
·
·
|
Lots of copy tweaks to make, but a really solid start. Two minor source things to fix as well. Ping me when done. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 19:33, 21 July 2024 (UTC)
Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.
- Titles of podcasts should be italicized. (There are three in the article, one in the lead and two further down, that need to be italicized.)
- Fixed.
- She was born deaf, and was initially fitted for hearing aids, before being given a single cochlear implant at Bradford Royal Infirmary just before her fifth birthday which lasted until she was sixteen and went unreplaced for five months; she later underwent speech therapy, and was unable to speak until she was five, having communicated entirely in British Sign Language until that point. What a sentence! Split this, possibly into three. Also watch for WP:CINS; I see it a few places here and in the rest of the article and will point it out.
- Split into three.
- Ghouri took up ballet aged three, and would copy the choreography of her parents' copy of the Steps album
- CINS (remove comma)
- Fixed.
- "Copy the choreography of her parents' copy"... Woof. Consider rewording.
- For now, changed the second 'copy' to 'edition'. I'll take another look in the morning.
- On second thoughts, I don't think the second 'copy' is the problem, so changed it back and changed the first to 'replicate'.
- For now, changed the second 'copy' to 'edition'. I'll take another look in the morning.
- After graduating, she moved to London, and signed to a modelling agency, and worked as a... Double CINS. Try After graduating, she moved to London, signed to a modelling agency and worked as a...
- Fixed.
podcast that she had previously applied for Too Hot to Handle, but had been told that she "weren't right" for the programme
- CinS remove comma
- Fixed.
- Maybe "was told"
- "she weren't"? Try a [wasn't] in brackets depending on context from the original quote.
- Changed to 'she was not', thereby taking the quote out.
- Consider "hard-of-hearing" hyphenated as an adjective
- Fixed.
- She later dated Giovanni Pernice after the pair connected via Instagram, and met in January 2022, though their try She later dated Giovanni Pernice after the pair connected via Instagram; they met in January 2022, though their
- Fixed.
- Mind your British English: that should be programme
- Fixed.
- She later became an ambassador for Ann Summers, for whom she featured in their Christmas advert and fronted their Luminescent collection, Sisters & Seekers, a Llay-based fashion label, and Lullabellz, a Manchester-based hair extension brand. This list is in bad need of semicolons because its list entries contain commas. She later became an ambassador for Ann Summers, for whom she featured in their Christmas advert and fronted their Luminescent collection; Sisters & Seekers, a Llay-based fashion label; and Lullabellz, a Manchester-based hair extension brand.
- Fixed.
- Appearing on that day's Lorraine, Ghouri explained that she wanted to upload a video to that effect since leaving Love Island, but had not felt ready. Remove second comma (CinS)
- Fixed.
- Is there a better source than The Media Eye, a PR firm, for the LullaBellz item?
- I would have said this was fine as it was being used only for what Lullabellz was (the actual BLP bit of her being involved used a different source), but replaced with The Manc.
- 14: I initially missed this because I didn't realize that the name I was looking for was "Sense".
- 21:
But within hours of recoupling it was clear Andrew still had feelings for his former partner, Tasha Ghouri, and he quickly cooled things off with Coco,
- 32:
Ghouri revealed her new role as the marketplace’s “pre-loved ambassador” in a post to Instagram.
Partial verification: it is not said that she is the first for them, just that she is one.
- Replaced with Grazia.
- 42:
Scarlett Moffatt and Stacey Solomon featured as team captains, while guests of the most recent season included Katherine Ryan, Big Brother presenter Will Best, EastEnders' Danielle Harold, Love Island's Tasha Ghouri, and Emmerdale's Danny Miller.
- 44:
Encouragement: Convert {{ Citation}} (CS2) to {{ Cite AV media}} (CS1) for YouTube to be more aligned with the other CS1 citations throughout.
- Fixed.
The lone image is cropped from a CC-BY upload by the UK government.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.