The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Hi, I'm Cartoon network freak and here's my review for your GAN:
Lead
Bruno Mars' -> Bruno Mars's; you only let the "s" gone if it is plural
"With some singular nouns that end in -s, pronouncing the possessive ending as a separate syllable can sound awkward; in such cases, it is acceptable to use just an apostrophe". - (Kirszner & Mandell, The Brief Holt Handbook)
Add year of release for the album in "()"
Remove "(EP)" and add release year of the EP.
as the -> as its
and produced by -> while production was handled by
and co-produced by Bhasker -> in collaboration with Bhasker
is a Pop song -> remains a pop song
and the song's lyrics -> and its lyrics
Brazil by -> Brazil through
Insensato Coração (Irrational Heart). -> Insensato Coração (Irrational Heart) from YEAR OF RELEASE
charted on -> charted on the
one on both -> one, respectively
several times -> you already used "several", try to change
Understand, released -> Understand, which was released
Mars stated: "I just write songs that I strongly believe in and that are coming from inside. There's no tricks. It's honesty with big melodies. And I'm singing the s*** out of them." -> Mars stated that "[he] just [writes] songs that [he] strongly believe in and that are coming from inside. There's no tricks. It's honesty with big melodies. And [he is] singing the s*** out of them."
I mean you're talking about the track reaching number one, following which you're talking about something different, and then you're again saying that it stayed there for nine weeks. This somehow doesn't fit together.
Cartoon network freak (
talk)
18:51, 27 May 2016 (UTC)reply
Usage in media
of the -> of
and it is included -> ,with it being as well included
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Hi, I'm Cartoon network freak and here's my review for your GAN:
Lead
Bruno Mars' -> Bruno Mars's; you only let the "s" gone if it is plural
"With some singular nouns that end in -s, pronouncing the possessive ending as a separate syllable can sound awkward; in such cases, it is acceptable to use just an apostrophe". - (Kirszner & Mandell, The Brief Holt Handbook)
Add year of release for the album in "()"
Remove "(EP)" and add release year of the EP.
as the -> as its
and produced by -> while production was handled by
and co-produced by Bhasker -> in collaboration with Bhasker
is a Pop song -> remains a pop song
and the song's lyrics -> and its lyrics
Brazil by -> Brazil through
Insensato Coração (Irrational Heart). -> Insensato Coração (Irrational Heart) from YEAR OF RELEASE
charted on -> charted on the
one on both -> one, respectively
several times -> you already used "several", try to change
Understand, released -> Understand, which was released
Mars stated: "I just write songs that I strongly believe in and that are coming from inside. There's no tricks. It's honesty with big melodies. And I'm singing the s*** out of them." -> Mars stated that "[he] just [writes] songs that [he] strongly believe in and that are coming from inside. There's no tricks. It's honesty with big melodies. And [he is] singing the s*** out of them."
I mean you're talking about the track reaching number one, following which you're talking about something different, and then you're again saying that it stayed there for nine weeks. This somehow doesn't fit together.
Cartoon network freak (
talk)
18:51, 27 May 2016 (UTC)reply
Usage in media
of the -> of
and it is included -> ,with it being as well included
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.