The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The
WP:Lead section should adequately summarize the articles main points. Many times in the article I see sentences where its just repeating from the Lead.
What type of song is this, like what genre? Make sure to include that. Done
It was conceived as a big power jazz ballad. Throughout its lyrics, Mars' describes a failed relationship. → Consider revising, it seem to fit with the other content. Try to expand on these sentences more. Done
It is not necessary to include (2010) next to Doo-Wops & Hooligans. Done
Instead of Upon the release of "Doo-Wops & Hooligans", "Talking to the Moon" received generally favorable reviews from music critics. Following the soundtrack of Brazilian telenovela Insensato Coração, Warner Music decided to released it as an official single in Brazil, after receiving high airplay. → Try something like Following the soundtrack of Brazilian telenovela Insensato Coração, Warner Music decided to released it as an official single in Brazil after receiving high airplay. The track was later included in Mars' debut album Doo-Wops & Hooligans. "Talking to the Moon" received mixed to positive review from music critics Done
The song was part of the The song charted at number one on the Brazilian airplay charts. → What was the song part of? Finish the sentence and then end with a period starting the next sentence. Done
It has been covered by a number of artists. → Specify who it has been covered by. Done
Background
"And I'm singing the heck out of them." → "And I'm singing the s*** out of them." Remember Wikipedia is not censored so include any vulgarities, especially in quotes, exactly how they appear per
WP:MOSQUOTE. Done
The track was later included on his debut studio album, Doo-Wops & Hooligans, released on October 4, 2010, almost five months later. → What label was it released under? Done
Ari Levine from The Smeezingtons confessed that ""Talking To The Moon" is one of my favourite songs on the album. → try something like Ari Levine from The Smeezingtons stated that "Talking To The Moon" was one of his favorite songs on the album Doo-Wops & Hooligans (Italicize Doo-Wops & Hooligans when doing this) Done
He explained that → He explained that, "We only had..." Done
Composition
"Talking to the Moon" is a power jazz ballad that lasts for three minutes and twenty-eight seconds. → The infobox says three minutes and thirty-seven seconds. Done
It was written by Albert Winkler, Jeff Bhasker, Bruno Mars, Philip Lawrence, Ari Levine and produced by the latter two. → Not necessary, already said in the Lead section. Instead put in the Background section and rename that section Background and production. Then add when it was recorded where and things like that in the Background section. Done
Lyrically, Mars depicted feelings of loneliness, lost and hope as he sings it of in the chorus: → No colon Done
, and as the song carries on, → Revise to something like . As the song continues, ... end the previous sentence with a period. Done
Audio sample needs to be reduced and comply with
WP:SAMPLE Done
Critical Reception
This section is a big mess. It is so hard to follow who is saying what. Please take a look at
WP:MOSQUOTE, and the entire section of
MOS:PUNCT covering quotation marks, commas, periods and where to put them with quotation marks. I would also suggest looking at other songs that are Good Articles and look at how the Critical Reception section is formatted.
Commercial performance
Can you find any sales figures, downloads, did it chart anywhere else? Done
Live Performances
Unless there was any other live performances merge into another section, or just get rid of it. Done
Cover versions and usage in media
Ellie Robertson covered the song → Who is she? Wheres the reference? Done
Most of the stuff is just repeated from what has already been said, find a place to put the information and expand on it without just repeating what it says in the Lead.
Sourcing
Reference #1 - Not working Done
Reference #2, #3 - Fine
Reference #4 - Fine
Reference #5 - Fine
Reference #6 - Asks me to open in iTunes then tells me it is not available in the U.S. Done
Reference #7 - Fine
Reference #8 - Redirects me to Doo-Wops & Hooligans (Wikipedia article) which is not acceptable.
Reference #9 - Not working, won't load Done
Reference #10 - OK
Reference #11 - Fine
Reference #12, #13, #14, #15, #16 - The review(s) is intended for the entire album and just giving a small input for every song. They are OK reviews.
Reference #17 - Not working (wrong domain?) Done
Reference #18 - Not working Done
Reference #19 - Fine
Reference #20 - Does not mention the song anywhere.
Neutrality
It is hard to say that the song has reviewed generally positive reviews when only a few reviews have been made. Those reviews do not go into much depth only providing a sentence or two about the song. Most of the reviews also came from blogs, and not from many of the usual websites, magazines or newspapers that usually rate pop songs.
Ari Levine was someone that was involved in the production so ofcourse he would say its a fabulous song. That might be giving a little bias. Done
Overall
I'm failing this article. I have thought about this really hard but its not quite GA material, if you could add a little more detail to the article and address all my issues it might be GA material. I would also suggest finding a picture. If you have any questions feel free to shoot me a message, I will be gone next week however. Sincerely
JayJayWhat did I do?17:56, 13 June 2014 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The
WP:Lead section should adequately summarize the articles main points. Many times in the article I see sentences where its just repeating from the Lead.
What type of song is this, like what genre? Make sure to include that. Done
It was conceived as a big power jazz ballad. Throughout its lyrics, Mars' describes a failed relationship. → Consider revising, it seem to fit with the other content. Try to expand on these sentences more. Done
It is not necessary to include (2010) next to Doo-Wops & Hooligans. Done
Instead of Upon the release of "Doo-Wops & Hooligans", "Talking to the Moon" received generally favorable reviews from music critics. Following the soundtrack of Brazilian telenovela Insensato Coração, Warner Music decided to released it as an official single in Brazil, after receiving high airplay. → Try something like Following the soundtrack of Brazilian telenovela Insensato Coração, Warner Music decided to released it as an official single in Brazil after receiving high airplay. The track was later included in Mars' debut album Doo-Wops & Hooligans. "Talking to the Moon" received mixed to positive review from music critics Done
The song was part of the The song charted at number one on the Brazilian airplay charts. → What was the song part of? Finish the sentence and then end with a period starting the next sentence. Done
It has been covered by a number of artists. → Specify who it has been covered by. Done
Background
"And I'm singing the heck out of them." → "And I'm singing the s*** out of them." Remember Wikipedia is not censored so include any vulgarities, especially in quotes, exactly how they appear per
WP:MOSQUOTE. Done
The track was later included on his debut studio album, Doo-Wops & Hooligans, released on October 4, 2010, almost five months later. → What label was it released under? Done
Ari Levine from The Smeezingtons confessed that ""Talking To The Moon" is one of my favourite songs on the album. → try something like Ari Levine from The Smeezingtons stated that "Talking To The Moon" was one of his favorite songs on the album Doo-Wops & Hooligans (Italicize Doo-Wops & Hooligans when doing this) Done
He explained that → He explained that, "We only had..." Done
Composition
"Talking to the Moon" is a power jazz ballad that lasts for three minutes and twenty-eight seconds. → The infobox says three minutes and thirty-seven seconds. Done
It was written by Albert Winkler, Jeff Bhasker, Bruno Mars, Philip Lawrence, Ari Levine and produced by the latter two. → Not necessary, already said in the Lead section. Instead put in the Background section and rename that section Background and production. Then add when it was recorded where and things like that in the Background section. Done
Lyrically, Mars depicted feelings of loneliness, lost and hope as he sings it of in the chorus: → No colon Done
, and as the song carries on, → Revise to something like . As the song continues, ... end the previous sentence with a period. Done
Audio sample needs to be reduced and comply with
WP:SAMPLE Done
Critical Reception
This section is a big mess. It is so hard to follow who is saying what. Please take a look at
WP:MOSQUOTE, and the entire section of
MOS:PUNCT covering quotation marks, commas, periods and where to put them with quotation marks. I would also suggest looking at other songs that are Good Articles and look at how the Critical Reception section is formatted.
Commercial performance
Can you find any sales figures, downloads, did it chart anywhere else? Done
Live Performances
Unless there was any other live performances merge into another section, or just get rid of it. Done
Cover versions and usage in media
Ellie Robertson covered the song → Who is she? Wheres the reference? Done
Most of the stuff is just repeated from what has already been said, find a place to put the information and expand on it without just repeating what it says in the Lead.
Sourcing
Reference #1 - Not working Done
Reference #2, #3 - Fine
Reference #4 - Fine
Reference #5 - Fine
Reference #6 - Asks me to open in iTunes then tells me it is not available in the U.S. Done
Reference #7 - Fine
Reference #8 - Redirects me to Doo-Wops & Hooligans (Wikipedia article) which is not acceptable.
Reference #9 - Not working, won't load Done
Reference #10 - OK
Reference #11 - Fine
Reference #12, #13, #14, #15, #16 - The review(s) is intended for the entire album and just giving a small input for every song. They are OK reviews.
Reference #17 - Not working (wrong domain?) Done
Reference #18 - Not working Done
Reference #19 - Fine
Reference #20 - Does not mention the song anywhere.
Neutrality
It is hard to say that the song has reviewed generally positive reviews when only a few reviews have been made. Those reviews do not go into much depth only providing a sentence or two about the song. Most of the reviews also came from blogs, and not from many of the usual websites, magazines or newspapers that usually rate pop songs.
Ari Levine was someone that was involved in the production so ofcourse he would say its a fabulous song. That might be giving a little bias. Done
Overall
I'm failing this article. I have thought about this really hard but its not quite GA material, if you could add a little more detail to the article and address all my issues it might be GA material. I would also suggest finding a picture. If you have any questions feel free to shoot me a message, I will be gone next week however. Sincerely
JayJayWhat did I do?17:56, 13 June 2014 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.