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Reviewer: Aoba47 ( talk · contribs) 02:53, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
Picking this up for a review if that is okay with you.
Aoba47 (
talk)
02:53, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
A folk ballad, the lyrics are about the confusion and potency of young love., is not grammatically correct. The beginning part (A folk ballad) is connected and thus describing the next part (the lyrics) so this sentence is describing the lyrics as a folk ballad, which I doubt is the intention.
he signed a recording contract with Columbia Records as a solo artist the same year, I would remove "the same year" as I think it is already clear from context and something about its inclusion reads more awkwardly to me than necessary.
In September 2016, Styles appeared on the cover of Another Man, which led to media speculation about a new album on the horizon., to clarify how a magazine feature led to this speculation.
the CEO of Columbia. Be consistent with either using Columbia Records in full or cutting it down to Columbia. The article mostly uses the full title from what I am seeing so far.
Styles enlisted producers Jeff Bhasker, Alex Salibian, Tyler Johnson, and Kid Harpoon to work on the album., I do not think the last part (i.e. "to work on the album") is necessary. It is already clear from context and it reads rather repetitively given the earlier sentence starting with "For the album".
a folk acoustic ballad. I could be wrong, but I have often seen the "acoustic" descriptor go before the genre, and it just reads better that way for whatever reason.
In an interview with radio host Zach Sang in May 2017, Styles said that "Sweet Creature" was "more so than one story, it's very much a piece of me that I haven't shared or talked about before".It is a nice quote, but I am not really sure what he means by this and without further context or explanation, it sounds like mostly empty, promotional speak (like how singers always describe their new music as their best or their most "personal"). Could elaborate further on this?
Compared to a lullaby by Entertainment weekly's Leah Greenblatt, the lyrics discuss the confusion and potency of young love., is entirely grammatically correct. If read literally, it is saying that the lyrics are compared to a lullaby and I think you mean the song itself.
In the song, Styles sings of the titular animal, who's not named., specifically "the titular animal", since this creature is not named or even really pinned down as an anime (which I might be wrong as I have not heard this song before so apologies for that). This part just seemed odd to me.
Harp said that the chorus was "hopeful" in which, as it is not particularly insightful and it takes away from the stronger quote later in the same sentence.
I hope my comments are helpful. Apologies for doing this review in a more piecemeal fashion. I just want to make sure that I thoroughly read the article and catch everything. I will complete my review of the prose sometime tomorrow and then look through the citations sometime later in the week. Feel free to address any of my comments or ask any questions for further clarification. I hope you are having a great start to your week. Aoba47 ( talk) 03:22, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
Featuring guitar picking, Styles performs simple harmonies and background runs on the track., is not grammatically correct as the sentence literally says that Styles features guitar picking.
with Jon Caramanica of The New York Times selecting it as one of the album's highlights. Avoid this sentence construction (i.e. with X verb-ing) as I have repeatedly seen notes against this. I do not have a strong personal opinion about it, but I would still avoid it as it seems to be a common criticism. Second, the Caramanica point does not fit within the sentence. The sentence is about the praise for Styles's vocals so having a part about "Sweet Creature" being an album highlight does not match that. It should be kept in the article, but it should be shifted somewhere else.
said that the song trades in fanciful words for sincere pining. I would have assumed that the song has more literal lyrics, but from what I reading here, it still seems rather metaphorical so further clarification would be greatly appreciated.
showcased Styles's "impressive" vocal range to reachand
music critic Greg Kot wrote that the "trifle" song, as they are not particularly beneficial to the reader and can take away from the effectiveness of the quotes used elsewhere in the article.
The guitar sound, which received comparisons to the Beatles' 1968 song, " Blackbird",. Could you expand on these comparisons as they are not immediately clear to me? Would any of these comparisons be appropriate for adding information to the "Music and lyrics" section? The only thing I am currently getting from the article right now is that people are comparing these two songs, but I do not know why or how.
Upon release, the song reached, I think it should be "Upon its release" instead.
delivered his first performance, sounds a little overly dramatic to me. I think "first performed" is simpler and more concise.
Again, I hope this review is helpful. I believe these should be all my comments for the prose. I will look through the citations once the above comments are addressed. Aoba47 ( talk) 15:37, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
Everything else looks good to me. Great work with the article. Aoba47 ( talk) 19:17, 18 August 2021 (UTC)
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Reviewer: Aoba47 ( talk · contribs) 02:53, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
Picking this up for a review if that is okay with you.
Aoba47 (
talk)
02:53, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
A folk ballad, the lyrics are about the confusion and potency of young love., is not grammatically correct. The beginning part (A folk ballad) is connected and thus describing the next part (the lyrics) so this sentence is describing the lyrics as a folk ballad, which I doubt is the intention.
he signed a recording contract with Columbia Records as a solo artist the same year, I would remove "the same year" as I think it is already clear from context and something about its inclusion reads more awkwardly to me than necessary.
In September 2016, Styles appeared on the cover of Another Man, which led to media speculation about a new album on the horizon., to clarify how a magazine feature led to this speculation.
the CEO of Columbia. Be consistent with either using Columbia Records in full or cutting it down to Columbia. The article mostly uses the full title from what I am seeing so far.
Styles enlisted producers Jeff Bhasker, Alex Salibian, Tyler Johnson, and Kid Harpoon to work on the album., I do not think the last part (i.e. "to work on the album") is necessary. It is already clear from context and it reads rather repetitively given the earlier sentence starting with "For the album".
a folk acoustic ballad. I could be wrong, but I have often seen the "acoustic" descriptor go before the genre, and it just reads better that way for whatever reason.
In an interview with radio host Zach Sang in May 2017, Styles said that "Sweet Creature" was "more so than one story, it's very much a piece of me that I haven't shared or talked about before".It is a nice quote, but I am not really sure what he means by this and without further context or explanation, it sounds like mostly empty, promotional speak (like how singers always describe their new music as their best or their most "personal"). Could elaborate further on this?
Compared to a lullaby by Entertainment weekly's Leah Greenblatt, the lyrics discuss the confusion and potency of young love., is entirely grammatically correct. If read literally, it is saying that the lyrics are compared to a lullaby and I think you mean the song itself.
In the song, Styles sings of the titular animal, who's not named., specifically "the titular animal", since this creature is not named or even really pinned down as an anime (which I might be wrong as I have not heard this song before so apologies for that). This part just seemed odd to me.
Harp said that the chorus was "hopeful" in which, as it is not particularly insightful and it takes away from the stronger quote later in the same sentence.
I hope my comments are helpful. Apologies for doing this review in a more piecemeal fashion. I just want to make sure that I thoroughly read the article and catch everything. I will complete my review of the prose sometime tomorrow and then look through the citations sometime later in the week. Feel free to address any of my comments or ask any questions for further clarification. I hope you are having a great start to your week. Aoba47 ( talk) 03:22, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
Featuring guitar picking, Styles performs simple harmonies and background runs on the track., is not grammatically correct as the sentence literally says that Styles features guitar picking.
with Jon Caramanica of The New York Times selecting it as one of the album's highlights. Avoid this sentence construction (i.e. with X verb-ing) as I have repeatedly seen notes against this. I do not have a strong personal opinion about it, but I would still avoid it as it seems to be a common criticism. Second, the Caramanica point does not fit within the sentence. The sentence is about the praise for Styles's vocals so having a part about "Sweet Creature" being an album highlight does not match that. It should be kept in the article, but it should be shifted somewhere else.
said that the song trades in fanciful words for sincere pining. I would have assumed that the song has more literal lyrics, but from what I reading here, it still seems rather metaphorical so further clarification would be greatly appreciated.
showcased Styles's "impressive" vocal range to reachand
music critic Greg Kot wrote that the "trifle" song, as they are not particularly beneficial to the reader and can take away from the effectiveness of the quotes used elsewhere in the article.
The guitar sound, which received comparisons to the Beatles' 1968 song, " Blackbird",. Could you expand on these comparisons as they are not immediately clear to me? Would any of these comparisons be appropriate for adding information to the "Music and lyrics" section? The only thing I am currently getting from the article right now is that people are comparing these two songs, but I do not know why or how.
Upon release, the song reached, I think it should be "Upon its release" instead.
delivered his first performance, sounds a little overly dramatic to me. I think "first performed" is simpler and more concise.
Again, I hope this review is helpful. I believe these should be all my comments for the prose. I will look through the citations once the above comments are addressed. Aoba47 ( talk) 15:37, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
Everything else looks good to me. Great work with the article. Aoba47 ( talk) 19:17, 18 August 2021 (UTC)