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Comments
Here's a start of what stands out to me that needs addressing:
Seems to be filled with
WP:Peacock terms? (not sure about this one)
Only presents one point of view (Australia's). Mentions "experiences in countries such as South Africa and Scotland". Why not include those as well?
Usually, lead sections don't contain references. Lead sections summarize the entire article.
"Why native resources?" Section title isn't exactly encyclopedic. Perhaps "Background" or something similar?
"Until primary production systems can put a value on habitat and conservation areas then we will see more and more species loss." (emphasis added)
"Furthermore, native species are well adapted to Australia’s unique environment, allowing them to survive climatic extremes and thrive with little impact to the environment." Sounds more like an essay. Suggest this: Native species that are well adapted to Australia's unique environment allow them to survive the climatic extremes and thrive with little impact to the environment.
"Overseas experiences" Again, section title is not very encyclopedic. Perhaps merge into previous section? Rationale: If I lived in South Africa or Scotland, those experiences wouldn't be "oversea".
Again, this is just the beginning of the items I see needing to be addressed. Perhaps start there? –
Ajltalk 01:02, 25 March 2011 (UTC)reply
Thank you for starting to look at this. I will keep working on the Peacock terms (still working out what they are) but I agree and have made changes against your suggestions. See what you think.
JennyKS (
talk) 03:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)reply
This article was reviewed by member(s) of WikiProject Articles for creation. The project works to allow users to contribute quality articles and media files to the encyclopedia and track their progress as they are developed. To participate, please visit the
project page for more information.Articles for creationWikipedia:WikiProject Articles for creationTemplate:WikiProject Articles for creationAfC articles
Sustainable wildlife enterprise is within the scope of WikiProject Australia, which aims to improve Wikipedia's coverage of
Australia and
Australia-related topics. If you would like to participate, visit the
project page.AustraliaWikipedia:WikiProject AustraliaTemplate:WikiProject AustraliaAustralia articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Agriculture, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
agriculture on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.AgricultureWikipedia:WikiProject AgricultureTemplate:WikiProject AgricultureAgriculture articles
Sustainable wildlife enterprise is part of the WikiProject Biology, an effort to build a comprehensive and detailed guide to
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talk page.BiologyWikipedia:WikiProject BiologyTemplate:WikiProject BiologyBiology articles
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ecology-related articles.EcologyWikipedia:WikiProject EcologyTemplate:WikiProject EcologyEcology articles
This article has been rated as Low-importance on the
importance scale.
Comments
Here's a start of what stands out to me that needs addressing:
Seems to be filled with
WP:Peacock terms? (not sure about this one)
Only presents one point of view (Australia's). Mentions "experiences in countries such as South Africa and Scotland". Why not include those as well?
Usually, lead sections don't contain references. Lead sections summarize the entire article.
"Why native resources?" Section title isn't exactly encyclopedic. Perhaps "Background" or something similar?
"Until primary production systems can put a value on habitat and conservation areas then we will see more and more species loss." (emphasis added)
"Furthermore, native species are well adapted to Australia’s unique environment, allowing them to survive climatic extremes and thrive with little impact to the environment." Sounds more like an essay. Suggest this: Native species that are well adapted to Australia's unique environment allow them to survive the climatic extremes and thrive with little impact to the environment.
"Overseas experiences" Again, section title is not very encyclopedic. Perhaps merge into previous section? Rationale: If I lived in South Africa or Scotland, those experiences wouldn't be "oversea".
Again, this is just the beginning of the items I see needing to be addressed. Perhaps start there? –
Ajltalk 01:02, 25 March 2011 (UTC)reply
Thank you for starting to look at this. I will keep working on the Peacock terms (still working out what they are) but I agree and have made changes against your suggestions. See what you think.
JennyKS (
talk) 03:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)reply