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Reviewer: Alexandra IDV ( talk · contribs) 12:50, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
I will review this.-- Alexandra IDV 12:50, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
Apologies for the large amount of notes. Most of these are fairly minor, though, so don't worry.
Lead/infobox
...developed by Marcin Igor Kalicinski under the brand Candy Rufus Games.
Gameplay
The game begins by clicking the "New World" button,feels almost reminiscent of an instruction booklet - it is enough to say that the player begins by creating a new world
Players who have trouble running the game can also adjust the settings to make it compatible with the devices.- this is not "gameplay", and it's not at all out of the ordinary to have settings like this in video games. I would just strike this sentence entirely.
After setting up the world, the game will start with a scene of the character marooned on an island and a ship in the nearby beach. A dialogue between the character and the ship crews will then occur. The ship crews announce that they won't return for the character.- this feels rather wordy. I would suggest rewriting to something like
After setting up the world, the player character is shown marooned on an island, as the crew on a nearby ship announces they will not return for them.
After the dialogue ended [...] The player could start by [...]- make sure that you are writing in present tense when you describe events in the game, because they happen as one plays the game:
After the dialogue ends,
The player may start.
There are four different game modes in the game: Challenging, Cruel, and Harmless, and Creative. Challenging, Cruel, and Harmless are the same.- they are not all exactly the same, I presume.
The Harmless mode in this game- you don't need to say "in this game", it is assumed / understood from context that you are discussing Survivalcraft unless otherwise specified.
Development
The game was singlehandedly developed by programmer Marcin Igor Kalicinski,[7] who goes by the nickname Kaalus- can be written more concisely as
...by programmer Marcin Igor "Kaalus" Kalicinski
The sole pre-release tester of the game is Kalicinski's son.- the game has been released, so this should be in past tense.
such as the lack of support for shaders and the prohibition of native code.- link shader, as this is a technical term we can't expect the average reader to know. I'm also not clear on what "native code" means - is there an article we can link to here?
The game was submitted to the Windows Phone's app store in mid-November 2011[11] and officially released it on 16 November 2011.- we don't need to say "officially", because unless we're discussing "unofficial" releases, it's already presumed that the launch was official.
After its first release, Kalicinski received various feedback regarding Survivalcraft's feature.should be features, in plural. Do we know who gave him that feedback? Players?
the games' basic features- should be "the game's"
Following several subsequent updates, the game was released in Android's Play Store in October 2012.- updates are inherently "subsequent", so you can strike that word. I would also reword to "the game was released for Android" - there is nothing special about an Android game being released through the Play Store, and I don't think it's worth mentioning.
Kaalus introduced a Christmas-themed update- we would refer to him as Kalicinski.
Reception
Survivalcraft fared well in Windows Phone and iPad,- should be
on Windows Phone. Same goes for later constructions like this -
on iPad, not
in iPad.
the game became one of the two top 50 grossing games in 2013 with no in-game purchases.- I'm having a little trouble parsing this. Are you saying that out of the top 50 grossing games, it was one of only two that had no in-game purchases?
Jared Nelson of mobile game news site Touch Arcade rated the game a full score- do you by this mean a "perfect" score?
Nelson himself also- "himself" is not needed, and here mostly serves to unnecessarily draw more attention to Nelson
Similar review was delivered by Slide to Play reviewer Nadia Oxford,- should read as
A similar review was.... Also, names of creative works including publications like this one should be written in italics -
Slide to Playrather than
Slide to Play. Same goes for later ones like 148Apps and iPhone Soft.
the existence of "Recipaedia"- names of fictional publications are written the same way as real ones, so this should be
the existence of the Recipaedia
(I will take a break here and return to continue the review soon)-- Alexandra IDV 18:54, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
References
Images
Wikipedia:Good article criteria
Looking pretty good! I will put this review on hold for the standard seven days - please @ me when you have addressed the above or if you have any questions, and I will take another look.-- Alexandra IDV 12:55, 25 June 2021 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
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history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Alexandra IDV ( talk · contribs) 12:50, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
I will review this.-- Alexandra IDV 12:50, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
Apologies for the large amount of notes. Most of these are fairly minor, though, so don't worry.
Lead/infobox
...developed by Marcin Igor Kalicinski under the brand Candy Rufus Games.
Gameplay
The game begins by clicking the "New World" button,feels almost reminiscent of an instruction booklet - it is enough to say that the player begins by creating a new world
Players who have trouble running the game can also adjust the settings to make it compatible with the devices.- this is not "gameplay", and it's not at all out of the ordinary to have settings like this in video games. I would just strike this sentence entirely.
After setting up the world, the game will start with a scene of the character marooned on an island and a ship in the nearby beach. A dialogue between the character and the ship crews will then occur. The ship crews announce that they won't return for the character.- this feels rather wordy. I would suggest rewriting to something like
After setting up the world, the player character is shown marooned on an island, as the crew on a nearby ship announces they will not return for them.
After the dialogue ended [...] The player could start by [...]- make sure that you are writing in present tense when you describe events in the game, because they happen as one plays the game:
After the dialogue ends,
The player may start.
There are four different game modes in the game: Challenging, Cruel, and Harmless, and Creative. Challenging, Cruel, and Harmless are the same.- they are not all exactly the same, I presume.
The Harmless mode in this game- you don't need to say "in this game", it is assumed / understood from context that you are discussing Survivalcraft unless otherwise specified.
Development
The game was singlehandedly developed by programmer Marcin Igor Kalicinski,[7] who goes by the nickname Kaalus- can be written more concisely as
...by programmer Marcin Igor "Kaalus" Kalicinski
The sole pre-release tester of the game is Kalicinski's son.- the game has been released, so this should be in past tense.
such as the lack of support for shaders and the prohibition of native code.- link shader, as this is a technical term we can't expect the average reader to know. I'm also not clear on what "native code" means - is there an article we can link to here?
The game was submitted to the Windows Phone's app store in mid-November 2011[11] and officially released it on 16 November 2011.- we don't need to say "officially", because unless we're discussing "unofficial" releases, it's already presumed that the launch was official.
After its first release, Kalicinski received various feedback regarding Survivalcraft's feature.should be features, in plural. Do we know who gave him that feedback? Players?
the games' basic features- should be "the game's"
Following several subsequent updates, the game was released in Android's Play Store in October 2012.- updates are inherently "subsequent", so you can strike that word. I would also reword to "the game was released for Android" - there is nothing special about an Android game being released through the Play Store, and I don't think it's worth mentioning.
Kaalus introduced a Christmas-themed update- we would refer to him as Kalicinski.
Reception
Survivalcraft fared well in Windows Phone and iPad,- should be
on Windows Phone. Same goes for later constructions like this -
on iPad, not
in iPad.
the game became one of the two top 50 grossing games in 2013 with no in-game purchases.- I'm having a little trouble parsing this. Are you saying that out of the top 50 grossing games, it was one of only two that had no in-game purchases?
Jared Nelson of mobile game news site Touch Arcade rated the game a full score- do you by this mean a "perfect" score?
Nelson himself also- "himself" is not needed, and here mostly serves to unnecessarily draw more attention to Nelson
Similar review was delivered by Slide to Play reviewer Nadia Oxford,- should read as
A similar review was.... Also, names of creative works including publications like this one should be written in italics -
Slide to Playrather than
Slide to Play. Same goes for later ones like 148Apps and iPhone Soft.
the existence of "Recipaedia"- names of fictional publications are written the same way as real ones, so this should be
the existence of the Recipaedia
(I will take a break here and return to continue the review soon)-- Alexandra IDV 18:54, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
References
Images
Wikipedia:Good article criteria
Looking pretty good! I will put this review on hold for the standard seven days - please @ me when you have addressed the above or if you have any questions, and I will take another look.-- Alexandra IDV 12:55, 25 June 2021 (UTC)