From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Tone

I was just wondering what specifically needs fixing? Gang14 19:41, 6 June 2007 (UTC) reply

The voice and tone of this paragraph:
A life-long supporter of community development and activism, Steve devotes much of his time to local charitable causes. Steve is the co-chair of City Year's 2007 national convention, to be held in Manchester this spring. A strong proponent of increasing community service, particularly among younger citizens, Steve is helping to bring this AmeriCorps national service organization to the first non-urban convention in its 19-year history.
make it sound like it was lifted straight from campaign materials. Cornell Rockey 20:36, 6 June 2007 (UTC) reply
agreed Gang14 22:59, 6 June 2007 (UTC) reply

the entire public works section needs editing.-- Donatello08 03:36, 21 June 2007 (UTC) reply

References

What sources were used?-- Donatello08 03:38, 21 June 2007 (UTC) reply

None so far, so I've tagged it. Bearian 16:25, 21 June 2007 (UTC) reply
I've cleaned up somewhat by removing sections or paragraphs with no footnotes. — jmcgnh (talk)  (contribs) 05:25, 21 September 2022 (UTC) reply
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Tone

I was just wondering what specifically needs fixing? Gang14 19:41, 6 June 2007 (UTC) reply

The voice and tone of this paragraph:
A life-long supporter of community development and activism, Steve devotes much of his time to local charitable causes. Steve is the co-chair of City Year's 2007 national convention, to be held in Manchester this spring. A strong proponent of increasing community service, particularly among younger citizens, Steve is helping to bring this AmeriCorps national service organization to the first non-urban convention in its 19-year history.
make it sound like it was lifted straight from campaign materials. Cornell Rockey 20:36, 6 June 2007 (UTC) reply
agreed Gang14 22:59, 6 June 2007 (UTC) reply

the entire public works section needs editing.-- Donatello08 03:36, 21 June 2007 (UTC) reply

References

What sources were used?-- Donatello08 03:38, 21 June 2007 (UTC) reply

None so far, so I've tagged it. Bearian 16:25, 21 June 2007 (UTC) reply
I've cleaned up somewhat by removing sections or paragraphs with no footnotes. — jmcgnh (talk)  (contribs) 05:25, 21 September 2022 (UTC) reply

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