I am still chewing over the article, and will highlight anything remaining below, but the above checklist should give you an idea that this article is close to passing from the get-go. Once I've finished adding things to the list below I'll put the article on hold.
Someoneanother18:35, 8 April 2009 (UTC)reply
In the lead: "and the controls were generally cited as inadequate." - per
WP:SAY 'cited' should only be used when the source is actually citing something else, please reword. I also removed a 'claimed' from the reception section. Could you double-check the reception for such terms as well please? I need to double-check my own nomination for this as well.
Also in the lead: "local- and internet-based multiplayer modes" - a little jargony, particularly 'local', could you explain that aspect in more general terms please?
In gameplay: "specific areas of territory represented by a floating icon." - where are these icons located, are they on a map screen or present during play?
Some terms in gameplay are given speech marks, like "tickets", IMO none of them are so unusual that they need separating from the surrounding text this way.
Still under gameplay "a change from the class-based system of previous games in the series." - talk of character classes is day-to-day stuff for videogamers and role playing gamers, but for the general reader this could do with a brief description so they can see exactly how they are different.
In their first appearances could you wiklink the planet names to their respective entries on the two alphabetical Star Wars planet lists? The articles on the battles themselves have been redirected to the film page(s) so linking to the planets instead would be the next best thing.
The images are fine, except that the gameplay shot has a small black bar on the right hand side which is a little distracting, could you chop it with paint or another program and re-upload it please?
It will just be your cache (or whatever its properly called, looks fine to me now), if you want to see the changes, just try a refresh.
Salavat (
talk)
16:17, 11 April 2009 (UTC)reply
"AI-controlled teammates against AI opponents. " - could you spell out artificial intelligence, wikilink it and reword this slightly so that the term has to be used only once in reference to team-mates and opponents (would help the text flow)?
In reception: "and Eurogamer went as far as calling the lock-on feature "a waste of time".[17][32]" - the statement is skating a little close to being "an exclamation!!", better to lose the embellishment and focus on what was said. Why are two references needed for a direct quote? If there's more info in one of them relevant to that statement then please expand on the point.
Reference #11 - a youtube video, noooooooooooooooo :( could you find something else to cite the statement with, please? Unless officially uploaded, YT videos can be a bone of contention due to copyright, and while this one claims to be Lucas Arts it's not the most visually impressive YT userpage considering who's supposed to be behind it. The other issue with YT is that the links might not be as longlived as something hosted on a major gaming site.
I'm putting the article on hold, though I haven't checked each of the internal and external links (which will take quite a while), so other points may be left here. Thanks.
Someoneanother19:27, 8 April 2009 (UTC)reply
Great stuff, I've now checked all the internal and external links (what a chore.. X.X), which are mostly dandy but there's a few further tweaks needed:
Under voice acting, the first voice actor's wikilink is pointing to someone who doesn't appear to be the 'right' guy of that name, can you double check that please? The second voice actor probably is the right one, since it links to a guy who is indeed a voice actor for games, but none of the game's listed are Star Wars when the text here refers to them both being regulars, so again could you double-check please?
Ref #s 22-24 are the same source, although they are kept on different 'pages' they are all part of a single article, so rather than linking to each separate page I'd just link to page one and consolidate these references. The same with the GameDaily review (ref #s 14 and 46).
I see your point, but in my opinion it's easier to verify information this way. If it's linked to just one page, a reader might have to read through several pages to find the specific reference. If you feel strongly about it, I'll change it. — Levi van Tine (
t –
c)14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)reply
Excellent work VanTine, I just tweaked the wikilinked planets to the lead instead of in the plot section, and that's a wrap. Congratulations and thank you, Renegade Squadron is now a Good Article. You might also like to double-check the other article you have nominated for GA for the things highilighted in
WP:SAY etc. so there's one less thing to do during its review.
Someoneanother19:17, 11 April 2009 (UTC)reply
I am still chewing over the article, and will highlight anything remaining below, but the above checklist should give you an idea that this article is close to passing from the get-go. Once I've finished adding things to the list below I'll put the article on hold.
Someoneanother18:35, 8 April 2009 (UTC)reply
In the lead: "and the controls were generally cited as inadequate." - per
WP:SAY 'cited' should only be used when the source is actually citing something else, please reword. I also removed a 'claimed' from the reception section. Could you double-check the reception for such terms as well please? I need to double-check my own nomination for this as well.
Also in the lead: "local- and internet-based multiplayer modes" - a little jargony, particularly 'local', could you explain that aspect in more general terms please?
In gameplay: "specific areas of territory represented by a floating icon." - where are these icons located, are they on a map screen or present during play?
Some terms in gameplay are given speech marks, like "tickets", IMO none of them are so unusual that they need separating from the surrounding text this way.
Still under gameplay "a change from the class-based system of previous games in the series." - talk of character classes is day-to-day stuff for videogamers and role playing gamers, but for the general reader this could do with a brief description so they can see exactly how they are different.
In their first appearances could you wiklink the planet names to their respective entries on the two alphabetical Star Wars planet lists? The articles on the battles themselves have been redirected to the film page(s) so linking to the planets instead would be the next best thing.
The images are fine, except that the gameplay shot has a small black bar on the right hand side which is a little distracting, could you chop it with paint or another program and re-upload it please?
It will just be your cache (or whatever its properly called, looks fine to me now), if you want to see the changes, just try a refresh.
Salavat (
talk)
16:17, 11 April 2009 (UTC)reply
"AI-controlled teammates against AI opponents. " - could you spell out artificial intelligence, wikilink it and reword this slightly so that the term has to be used only once in reference to team-mates and opponents (would help the text flow)?
In reception: "and Eurogamer went as far as calling the lock-on feature "a waste of time".[17][32]" - the statement is skating a little close to being "an exclamation!!", better to lose the embellishment and focus on what was said. Why are two references needed for a direct quote? If there's more info in one of them relevant to that statement then please expand on the point.
Reference #11 - a youtube video, noooooooooooooooo :( could you find something else to cite the statement with, please? Unless officially uploaded, YT videos can be a bone of contention due to copyright, and while this one claims to be Lucas Arts it's not the most visually impressive YT userpage considering who's supposed to be behind it. The other issue with YT is that the links might not be as longlived as something hosted on a major gaming site.
I'm putting the article on hold, though I haven't checked each of the internal and external links (which will take quite a while), so other points may be left here. Thanks.
Someoneanother19:27, 8 April 2009 (UTC)reply
Great stuff, I've now checked all the internal and external links (what a chore.. X.X), which are mostly dandy but there's a few further tweaks needed:
Under voice acting, the first voice actor's wikilink is pointing to someone who doesn't appear to be the 'right' guy of that name, can you double check that please? The second voice actor probably is the right one, since it links to a guy who is indeed a voice actor for games, but none of the game's listed are Star Wars when the text here refers to them both being regulars, so again could you double-check please?
Ref #s 22-24 are the same source, although they are kept on different 'pages' they are all part of a single article, so rather than linking to each separate page I'd just link to page one and consolidate these references. The same with the GameDaily review (ref #s 14 and 46).
I see your point, but in my opinion it's easier to verify information this way. If it's linked to just one page, a reader might have to read through several pages to find the specific reference. If you feel strongly about it, I'll change it. — Levi van Tine (
t –
c)14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)reply
Excellent work VanTine, I just tweaked the wikilinked planets to the lead instead of in the plot section, and that's a wrap. Congratulations and thank you, Renegade Squadron is now a Good Article. You might also like to double-check the other article you have nominated for GA for the things highilighted in
WP:SAY etc. so there's one less thing to do during its review.
Someoneanother19:17, 11 April 2009 (UTC)reply