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Reviewer: Mike Christie ( talk · contribs) 20:27, 18 February 2018 (UTC)
I'll review this. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 20:27, 18 February 2018 (UTC)
I'll copyedit as I go through; please revert if I screw anything up.
The 2009 completion of the new South Ferry IRT terminal consolidated the two formerly unconnected stations: which two? As far as I can see we haven't mentioned any other stations to this point. Reading the rest of the sentence I can see it must be South Ferry and Whitehall Street, but I had no idea that these had previously been separate stations, so I'd rephrase here.
Done
The second was a double balloon loop opened from 1905 to 2009 and from 2013 to 2017, and served the IRT Broadway–Seventh Avenue and IRT Lexington Avenue Lines. The first was an elevated station opened from 1877 to 1950, and served the former IRT Ninth, Sixth, Third, and Second Avenue lines.: A couple of things here. First, can we make this "open from" rather than "opened from"? And then we need "which served" rather than "and served" in both sentences. Second, this is confusing to someone who knows nothing of the background.
Done
If both these prior stations were on this site, how can they both have been open at the same time, with the same name, at the same place, and yet be different stations? Judging from the later text, these weren't at exactly the same location, so perhaps a slight rephrase would fix this. I did look at the MTA's line 1 schedule PDF, and it doesn't list two "South Ferry" stations.
@ Epicgenius: Do you know how to resolve this? Thanks.-- Kew Gardens 613 ( talk) 13:01, 20 February 2018 (UTC)
The South Ferry loops consist ofis uncited.
Done
of which only the outer one was operational until 2017: as written this means that after 2017 the other platform became operational too, which doesn't appear to be what's intended. Suggest cutting "until 2017" and finishing the paragraph with a statement about the end of usage of the platform.
Done
Done
Done
Landscaping for Peter Minuit Plaza was completed in May 2010: it's not clear why this is relevant. Is this plaza around one of the ground-level entrances? I see from a later paragraph that it is; let's move the "which is above the station" up to the first mention of it.
Done
The station underwent renovations, signal room relocations, and extensive waterproofing work. The signal room, however, could be delayed until 2019.: The first sentence seems to contradict part of the second one.
Done
I've finished a pass through. Because of the two stations, and the complex history, this is quite a confusing article, and some of my initial concern was dispelled by the time I got to the end, since I think it's the topic that's confusing, rather than the article. I'll read through again now I understand the history a little better and see if I can offer any more suggestions.
Mike Christie (
talk -
contribs -
library)
12:07, 20 February 2018 (UTC)
The images in the gallery collectively must have encyclopedic value and add to the reader's understanding of the subject.So I have pared the gallery to 9 really illustrative images. epicgenius ( talk) 21:34, 20 February 2018 (UTC)
Most points above are fixed. Here's what's left.
This station complex is the third on the site to bear the name South Ferry: this might be nitpicking, but I think some slight rewording is needed; the elevated station and the IRT station weren't on exactly the same site, though perhaps they were adjacent. In such a confusing article I think precision is needed. How about "on the site or nearby"? Or "in the neighbourhood"? Or even "the second on the site", and give the balloon loop, then add "there was also an elevated station with the same name that was open 1877-1950, next to the IRT station"?
-- Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 01:48, 21 February 2018 (UTC)
I think that almost none of the external links should stay; some are already linked from the footnotes, which is fine, of course. I also don't see sufficient reason for the GSV links; this is an encyclopedia, not a how-to guide or travel guide.
However, looking through the GA criteria, and reading the discussion at WP:EL, I don't think there's a justification for me failing it. I'm going to promote this article to GA, but I would suggest that the editors here either remove most of these links, or make some effort to get broader support for the EL approach taken here, so there is some discussion to point to the next time this comes up. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 09:13, 21 February 2018 (UTC)
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Reviewer: Mike Christie ( talk · contribs) 20:27, 18 February 2018 (UTC)
I'll review this. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 20:27, 18 February 2018 (UTC)
I'll copyedit as I go through; please revert if I screw anything up.
The 2009 completion of the new South Ferry IRT terminal consolidated the two formerly unconnected stations: which two? As far as I can see we haven't mentioned any other stations to this point. Reading the rest of the sentence I can see it must be South Ferry and Whitehall Street, but I had no idea that these had previously been separate stations, so I'd rephrase here.
Done
The second was a double balloon loop opened from 1905 to 2009 and from 2013 to 2017, and served the IRT Broadway–Seventh Avenue and IRT Lexington Avenue Lines. The first was an elevated station opened from 1877 to 1950, and served the former IRT Ninth, Sixth, Third, and Second Avenue lines.: A couple of things here. First, can we make this "open from" rather than "opened from"? And then we need "which served" rather than "and served" in both sentences. Second, this is confusing to someone who knows nothing of the background.
Done
If both these prior stations were on this site, how can they both have been open at the same time, with the same name, at the same place, and yet be different stations? Judging from the later text, these weren't at exactly the same location, so perhaps a slight rephrase would fix this. I did look at the MTA's line 1 schedule PDF, and it doesn't list two "South Ferry" stations.
@ Epicgenius: Do you know how to resolve this? Thanks.-- Kew Gardens 613 ( talk) 13:01, 20 February 2018 (UTC)
The South Ferry loops consist ofis uncited.
Done
of which only the outer one was operational until 2017: as written this means that after 2017 the other platform became operational too, which doesn't appear to be what's intended. Suggest cutting "until 2017" and finishing the paragraph with a statement about the end of usage of the platform.
Done
Done
Done
Landscaping for Peter Minuit Plaza was completed in May 2010: it's not clear why this is relevant. Is this plaza around one of the ground-level entrances? I see from a later paragraph that it is; let's move the "which is above the station" up to the first mention of it.
Done
The station underwent renovations, signal room relocations, and extensive waterproofing work. The signal room, however, could be delayed until 2019.: The first sentence seems to contradict part of the second one.
Done
I've finished a pass through. Because of the two stations, and the complex history, this is quite a confusing article, and some of my initial concern was dispelled by the time I got to the end, since I think it's the topic that's confusing, rather than the article. I'll read through again now I understand the history a little better and see if I can offer any more suggestions.
Mike Christie (
talk -
contribs -
library)
12:07, 20 February 2018 (UTC)
The images in the gallery collectively must have encyclopedic value and add to the reader's understanding of the subject.So I have pared the gallery to 9 really illustrative images. epicgenius ( talk) 21:34, 20 February 2018 (UTC)
Most points above are fixed. Here's what's left.
This station complex is the third on the site to bear the name South Ferry: this might be nitpicking, but I think some slight rewording is needed; the elevated station and the IRT station weren't on exactly the same site, though perhaps they were adjacent. In such a confusing article I think precision is needed. How about "on the site or nearby"? Or "in the neighbourhood"? Or even "the second on the site", and give the balloon loop, then add "there was also an elevated station with the same name that was open 1877-1950, next to the IRT station"?
-- Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 01:48, 21 February 2018 (UTC)
I think that almost none of the external links should stay; some are already linked from the footnotes, which is fine, of course. I also don't see sufficient reason for the GSV links; this is an encyclopedia, not a how-to guide or travel guide.
However, looking through the GA criteria, and reading the discussion at WP:EL, I don't think there's a justification for me failing it. I'm going to promote this article to GA, but I would suggest that the editors here either remove most of these links, or make some effort to get broader support for the EL approach taken here, so there is some discussion to point to the next time this comes up. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 09:13, 21 February 2018 (UTC)