From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

Article ( | visual edit | history) · Article talk ( | history) · Watch

Reviewer: SNUGGUMS ( talk · contribs) 19:35, 19 November 2014 (UTC) reply


I'll review this, expect my comments within a week.

Hey, SNUGGUMS, still interested? Tezero ( talk) 16:25, 26 November 2014 (UTC) reply
Yes, sorry for the delay. I'm drafting the review and will have it up. Don't worry! Snuggums ( talk / edits) 17:36, 26 November 2014 (UTC) reply

Here are my comments.....

Lead
  • Only the first release needs to be mentioned in opening paragraph, and no need for region either.
  • Only the first needs to be, maybe, but plenty of other game articles, including many FAs, list them all for the original platform(s). I don't see the harm in keeping it, anyhow... Tezero ( talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC) reply
  • Is "much" really needed for "felt that it was much too soon"?
  • "Upon release the game was a critical and commercial success"..... I'd move "upon release" to the end of this bit
Gameplay
  • I'd the plot its own subsection. The article for the first Sonic the Hedgehog game (which is GA) is a good example to follow.
  • "Dying with zero lives gives the player a game over" → "Running out of lives ends in a game over"
  • "in which their opponent will instantly win"..... automatically
  • "or the level is ended instantly"..... ends
  • "even in recent games"..... including
Connection to Sonic & Knuckles
  • I don't think "Knuckles the Echidna in Sonic the Hedgehog 2" should be bolded
Development
  • "a better salary"..... higher would be a more neutral term
  • See point in lead regarding "much" for "much too soon"
  • Add "the" before "Japanese" in "Both Americans and Japanese Sonic Team staff"
  • It's worth mentioning how/why Sega of America decided "Tails" was a better name than "Miles Prower", and that this is the character's real name. I also don't think "hence the nickname" is appropriate tone.
  • Is "notorious" a neutral description?
  • "Notable" in "A notable part" isn't really neutral
  • The instances of "Sonic 1" and "Sonic 2" in Yuji Naka's quote should be italicized
Audio
  • "Other than the graphics"..... except for
  • The tracklists need to be sourced
  • I don't know how you're meant to reference tracklists inside a box, because the norm for VG articles is that the tracks themselves don't need sourcing. I've added two appropriate citations at the end of the paragraph, but the code simply won't allow citations inside the box. Jag uar 15:26, 27 November 2014 (UTC) reply
Legacy
  • This section needs more focus on the game as a whole, not just certain aspects of it
  • "The release of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was one of the main reasons that Sega caught up to Nintendo in the 'console wars'"..... reads rather awkwardly
  • The bit on Akon should probably be in "Audio" rather than here
  • "would go on to become one of the most significant and frequently recurring characters"..... prominent would be better than "significant" as it is more neutral and more encyclopedic
References
  • Per MOS:DATE, use month-day-year or day-month-year format for publish dates/accessdates
  • Per WP:VG/RS, YouTube (FN20) is not an appropriate reference
  • We can't cite YouTube videos willy-nilly, but they're acceptable provided the author is reliable and there's no better source available. It should really be classified as an extreme situational source - I've seen it in FAs, though. Tezero ( talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC) reply
  • I'm not sure if FN28 (Joystiq) is appropriate to use, as WP:VG/RS lists it under "situational sources" and I haven't found evidence that author Danny Cowan is reliable
  • IME, what that means is that the site sometimes allows user-contributed pieces, but this guy works for Joystiq. At least, I don't know how else one would prove reliability of an individual author. Tezero ( talk) 18:26, 27 November 2014 (UTC) reply
  • FN52 should read simply "PlayStation Blog"
  • In FN72, the title should only read "Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Gets the Remastering Treatment, With the Long-Lost Hidden Palace Level Restored", and "Steel Media Ventures" should read "148Apps"
Overall
  • Well-written?: Decent, though could be improved
  • Verifiable?: Aside from tracklists, there are two subpar sources as well as two dead links
  • Broad in coverage?: Mostly good
  • Neutral?: Almost
  • Stable?: All good
  • Illustrated, if possible, by images?: All images are relevant and have sufficient FUR's, though the captions for screenshots could use more description. The article for the first Sonic the Hedgehog game is a good example to follow.
  • Pass or Fail?: Needs some touching up, but the concerns aren't extensive. I'll place this on hold for seven days. Snuggums ( talk / edits) 05:11, 27 November 2014 (UTC) reply
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

Article ( | visual edit | history) · Article talk ( | history) · Watch

Reviewer: SNUGGUMS ( talk · contribs) 19:35, 19 November 2014 (UTC) reply


I'll review this, expect my comments within a week.

Hey, SNUGGUMS, still interested? Tezero ( talk) 16:25, 26 November 2014 (UTC) reply
Yes, sorry for the delay. I'm drafting the review and will have it up. Don't worry! Snuggums ( talk / edits) 17:36, 26 November 2014 (UTC) reply

Here are my comments.....

Lead
  • Only the first release needs to be mentioned in opening paragraph, and no need for region either.
  • Only the first needs to be, maybe, but plenty of other game articles, including many FAs, list them all for the original platform(s). I don't see the harm in keeping it, anyhow... Tezero ( talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC) reply
  • Is "much" really needed for "felt that it was much too soon"?
  • "Upon release the game was a critical and commercial success"..... I'd move "upon release" to the end of this bit
Gameplay
  • I'd the plot its own subsection. The article for the first Sonic the Hedgehog game (which is GA) is a good example to follow.
  • "Dying with zero lives gives the player a game over" → "Running out of lives ends in a game over"
  • "in which their opponent will instantly win"..... automatically
  • "or the level is ended instantly"..... ends
  • "even in recent games"..... including
Connection to Sonic & Knuckles
  • I don't think "Knuckles the Echidna in Sonic the Hedgehog 2" should be bolded
Development
  • "a better salary"..... higher would be a more neutral term
  • See point in lead regarding "much" for "much too soon"
  • Add "the" before "Japanese" in "Both Americans and Japanese Sonic Team staff"
  • It's worth mentioning how/why Sega of America decided "Tails" was a better name than "Miles Prower", and that this is the character's real name. I also don't think "hence the nickname" is appropriate tone.
  • Is "notorious" a neutral description?
  • "Notable" in "A notable part" isn't really neutral
  • The instances of "Sonic 1" and "Sonic 2" in Yuji Naka's quote should be italicized
Audio
  • "Other than the graphics"..... except for
  • The tracklists need to be sourced
  • I don't know how you're meant to reference tracklists inside a box, because the norm for VG articles is that the tracks themselves don't need sourcing. I've added two appropriate citations at the end of the paragraph, but the code simply won't allow citations inside the box. Jag uar 15:26, 27 November 2014 (UTC) reply
Legacy
  • This section needs more focus on the game as a whole, not just certain aspects of it
  • "The release of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was one of the main reasons that Sega caught up to Nintendo in the 'console wars'"..... reads rather awkwardly
  • The bit on Akon should probably be in "Audio" rather than here
  • "would go on to become one of the most significant and frequently recurring characters"..... prominent would be better than "significant" as it is more neutral and more encyclopedic
References
  • Per MOS:DATE, use month-day-year or day-month-year format for publish dates/accessdates
  • Per WP:VG/RS, YouTube (FN20) is not an appropriate reference
  • We can't cite YouTube videos willy-nilly, but they're acceptable provided the author is reliable and there's no better source available. It should really be classified as an extreme situational source - I've seen it in FAs, though. Tezero ( talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC) reply
  • I'm not sure if FN28 (Joystiq) is appropriate to use, as WP:VG/RS lists it under "situational sources" and I haven't found evidence that author Danny Cowan is reliable
  • IME, what that means is that the site sometimes allows user-contributed pieces, but this guy works for Joystiq. At least, I don't know how else one would prove reliability of an individual author. Tezero ( talk) 18:26, 27 November 2014 (UTC) reply
  • FN52 should read simply "PlayStation Blog"
  • In FN72, the title should only read "Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Gets the Remastering Treatment, With the Long-Lost Hidden Palace Level Restored", and "Steel Media Ventures" should read "148Apps"
Overall
  • Well-written?: Decent, though could be improved
  • Verifiable?: Aside from tracklists, there are two subpar sources as well as two dead links
  • Broad in coverage?: Mostly good
  • Neutral?: Almost
  • Stable?: All good
  • Illustrated, if possible, by images?: All images are relevant and have sufficient FUR's, though the captions for screenshots could use more description. The article for the first Sonic the Hedgehog game is a good example to follow.
  • Pass or Fail?: Needs some touching up, but the concerns aren't extensive. I'll place this on hold for seven days. Snuggums ( talk / edits) 05:11, 27 November 2014 (UTC) reply

Videos

Youtube | Vimeo | Bing

Websites

Google | Yahoo | Bing

Encyclopedia

Google | Yahoo | Bing

Facebook