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Reviewer: TompaDompa ( talk · contribs) 18:16, 6 January 2023 (UTC)
I will review Fëanor, Morgoth, and Silmarils. It may take a bit longer than usual. TompaDompa ( talk) 18:16, 6 January 2023 (UTC)
They were made by the Elf Fëanorand
fight anyone who withheld the Silmarils.
Verlyn Flieger analyses The Silmarillion as story of splintering of the created light– I feel like at least one definite/indefinite article is missing.
Together with his sons– I would state the number since a later paragraph mentions "Fëanor's two remaining sons".
Five major battles were fought in Beleriand– "Five major battles" feels like it should be piped somewhere, though I don't know if we have a better target than simply linking to the First Age, which this paragraph already does. Anyway, I might add something about the timeframe here ("Five major battles were fought in Beleriand over the course of [however many] years.").
It was later taken to the Valar in the West by Eärendil, son of Tuor and Idril and husband of Elwing: heir of Beren and Lúthien, as a token of repentance.– could this be rephrased to make the relationships less confusing?
as a token of repentance– for what?
remained in Morgoth's hands, and were taken from him– I would say "until they were taken".
Then Fëanor will be released from the Halls of Mandos and give Yavanna the Silmarils and she will break them and with their light she will revive the Two Trees, the Pelóri Mountains will be flattened and the light of the Two Trees will fill the world in eternal bliss.– a bit of a run-on sentence.
the former as it was the name of the Sun rune *sowilō (ᛋ), the latter from Latin sigillum, a seal.– I was unable to find this in the cited source.
The Tolkien scholar Tom Shippey states that this contributed to the sun-jewel Silmarils, "helped to naturalise the Balrog" (a demon of fire), while the Aethiopians suggested to Tolkien the Haradrim, a dark southern race of men.– the attribution is a bit unclear here. The reference placement would seem to suggest that the Silmarils and Balrog stuff comes from Shippey while the Haradrim stuff comes from Tolkien, but the wording makes it sound like it all comes from Shippey. The sentence structure is also a bit odd with "while" introducing the last item in a list.
Verlyn Flieger explains– MOS:SAID.
{{
tooltip}}
or replace it entirely.Numenor– missing accent.
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
Ping Chiswick Chap. TompaDompa ( talk) 04:33, 11 January 2023 (UTC)
Update: The article now meets all the WP:Good article criteria. Well done! TompaDompa ( talk) 00:22, 14 January 2023 (UTC)
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Reviewer: TompaDompa ( talk · contribs) 18:16, 6 January 2023 (UTC)
I will review Fëanor, Morgoth, and Silmarils. It may take a bit longer than usual. TompaDompa ( talk) 18:16, 6 January 2023 (UTC)
They were made by the Elf Fëanorand
fight anyone who withheld the Silmarils.
Verlyn Flieger analyses The Silmarillion as story of splintering of the created light– I feel like at least one definite/indefinite article is missing.
Together with his sons– I would state the number since a later paragraph mentions "Fëanor's two remaining sons".
Five major battles were fought in Beleriand– "Five major battles" feels like it should be piped somewhere, though I don't know if we have a better target than simply linking to the First Age, which this paragraph already does. Anyway, I might add something about the timeframe here ("Five major battles were fought in Beleriand over the course of [however many] years.").
It was later taken to the Valar in the West by Eärendil, son of Tuor and Idril and husband of Elwing: heir of Beren and Lúthien, as a token of repentance.– could this be rephrased to make the relationships less confusing?
as a token of repentance– for what?
remained in Morgoth's hands, and were taken from him– I would say "until they were taken".
Then Fëanor will be released from the Halls of Mandos and give Yavanna the Silmarils and she will break them and with their light she will revive the Two Trees, the Pelóri Mountains will be flattened and the light of the Two Trees will fill the world in eternal bliss.– a bit of a run-on sentence.
the former as it was the name of the Sun rune *sowilō (ᛋ), the latter from Latin sigillum, a seal.– I was unable to find this in the cited source.
The Tolkien scholar Tom Shippey states that this contributed to the sun-jewel Silmarils, "helped to naturalise the Balrog" (a demon of fire), while the Aethiopians suggested to Tolkien the Haradrim, a dark southern race of men.– the attribution is a bit unclear here. The reference placement would seem to suggest that the Silmarils and Balrog stuff comes from Shippey while the Haradrim stuff comes from Tolkien, but the wording makes it sound like it all comes from Shippey. The sentence structure is also a bit odd with "while" introducing the last item in a list.
Verlyn Flieger explains– MOS:SAID.
{{
tooltip}}
or replace it entirely.Numenor– missing accent.
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
Ping Chiswick Chap. TompaDompa ( talk) 04:33, 11 January 2023 (UTC)
Update: The article now meets all the WP:Good article criteria. Well done! TompaDompa ( talk) 00:22, 14 January 2023 (UTC)