@
Krishna Chaitanya Velaga: I'm quite keen to get this done as I'm aware it is taking much longer to resolve this than the seven days that a Good Article review typically takes. If we can push it through in the next few days, I'm happy to work hard on it.
Exemplo347 (
talk)
01:07, 20 December 2016 (UTC)reply
Issues
Section 1;
I would like to see more context on why there was a mutiny by the soldiers.
Done - More context added. The act that caused the actual outbreak of mutiny in Dinapore, however, was already included in the article (Lloyd's orders to the regiments to hand in their percussion caps).
headquarters of what was then -> headquarters of then
Shahabad District -> Shahabad district
had a population at the time which consisted largely of Bengal Native Infantry sepoys -> had a population largely consisted of Bengal Native Infantry sepoys
The dashes used between explaining or clarifying something must be an emdash i.e. "—" see
WP:EMDASH
European population of Arrah expected the Native Infantry regiments to mutiny at any moment, why were the Europeans expecting a mutiny, some background regarding the mutiny is required.
Done - Removed this specific sentence - the following two paragraphs describe the background and context already.
escorted by armed members of the European male population -> escorted male Europeans
Not doneThis change would make the sentence incoherent
At the same meeting, discussion took place about the next steps that should be taken; this sentence is unnecessary unless the what were the steps discussed mentioned.
Done changed the wording of the sentence
surrounding area -> surrounding areas
Not done changed "area" to "district"
Richard Vicars Boyle (District Engineer with the East Indian Railway Company); change it into general prose type as you did for other officials.
Done
two-storey, 50-by-50-foot (15 by 15 m) -> two-storied 50-by-50-foot (15 by 15 m)
Not done"Two-storey" is the traditional use in British English
A comma (,) after "On 22 July"
DoneThis was another very minor change
Section 2.1;
Link Governor-General and Lord Canning separately and also mention Canning's full name as it is the first mention
Done
Who was General Lloyd? What was his position?
Done
4pm -> 4:00pm, per
MOS:TIME. The space used is no breakable space. See
WP:NBSP
Done
Mention "Herwald Wake" by just "Wake" from second mention throughout the article. Per
MOS:LASTNAME
Done
Section 2.2;
Mention Fenwick full name
Done
09:30? What is this am or pm? Previously you have used am/pm format, so to maintain consistency, do the same here per MOS:TIME
Done
Abbrevaiate the units from second mention, for example on the first mention if it is 5 miles (8.0 km), from the second time keep it as 3 mi (4.8 km). Also keep the units up to at least one decimal point.
Done
earned the Victoria Cross - Mangles, despite being wounded, use em dash
Done
Section 2.2;
magistrates (who were friends of the besieged party); change this into general prose
Done
his role as Commissioner of Patna; "the Commissioner of Patna"
Done
at about 4:00 pm; use nbsp in "4:00 pm"
Done
I already said to change the "-" in "Victoria Cross - Mangles, despite being wounded" to "em dash" i.e. —
Section 2.3;
Kunwar Singh's forces – including Kunwar Singh himself – in an; use em dashes
Done
had heard about their approach and "We are all well."; this is a bit confusing; I am not able to catch the meaning; reword it a bit
Done
reconnoitre the area – they found no sign; use em dash; also correct the spelling of reconnoitre; I think it is reconnoiter
Donereplaced with EM dash
Not done"Reconnoitre" is the correct spelling in British English. "Reconnoiter" is the US English spelling.
ready to be primed – the charge was destroyed; change this into general sentence without dash
Done
Section 3;
Governor General? name?
Done
Subadar -> Subedar
Done
Position of Sir James Outram?
Done
Link Maharaja College
Done
Images; No need of Mr in image captions of images, because this is not a honorary or military prefix
Done
Lead; I suggest you to expand it to at least two paras, but not more than four; mention something about Eyre's mission etc.
Done
27 July – 3 August 1857 -> 27 July 1857 – 3 August 1857, per
MOS:DATERANGE
@
Krishna Chaitanya Velaga: I'm quite keen to get this done as I'm aware it is taking much longer to resolve this than the seven days that a Good Article review typically takes. If we can push it through in the next few days, I'm happy to work hard on it.
Exemplo347 (
talk)
01:07, 20 December 2016 (UTC)reply
Issues
Section 1;
I would like to see more context on why there was a mutiny by the soldiers.
Done - More context added. The act that caused the actual outbreak of mutiny in Dinapore, however, was already included in the article (Lloyd's orders to the regiments to hand in their percussion caps).
headquarters of what was then -> headquarters of then
Shahabad District -> Shahabad district
had a population at the time which consisted largely of Bengal Native Infantry sepoys -> had a population largely consisted of Bengal Native Infantry sepoys
The dashes used between explaining or clarifying something must be an emdash i.e. "—" see
WP:EMDASH
European population of Arrah expected the Native Infantry regiments to mutiny at any moment, why were the Europeans expecting a mutiny, some background regarding the mutiny is required.
Done - Removed this specific sentence - the following two paragraphs describe the background and context already.
escorted by armed members of the European male population -> escorted male Europeans
Not doneThis change would make the sentence incoherent
At the same meeting, discussion took place about the next steps that should be taken; this sentence is unnecessary unless the what were the steps discussed mentioned.
Done changed the wording of the sentence
surrounding area -> surrounding areas
Not done changed "area" to "district"
Richard Vicars Boyle (District Engineer with the East Indian Railway Company); change it into general prose type as you did for other officials.
Done
two-storey, 50-by-50-foot (15 by 15 m) -> two-storied 50-by-50-foot (15 by 15 m)
Not done"Two-storey" is the traditional use in British English
A comma (,) after "On 22 July"
DoneThis was another very minor change
Section 2.1;
Link Governor-General and Lord Canning separately and also mention Canning's full name as it is the first mention
Done
Who was General Lloyd? What was his position?
Done
4pm -> 4:00pm, per
MOS:TIME. The space used is no breakable space. See
WP:NBSP
Done
Mention "Herwald Wake" by just "Wake" from second mention throughout the article. Per
MOS:LASTNAME
Done
Section 2.2;
Mention Fenwick full name
Done
09:30? What is this am or pm? Previously you have used am/pm format, so to maintain consistency, do the same here per MOS:TIME
Done
Abbrevaiate the units from second mention, for example on the first mention if it is 5 miles (8.0 km), from the second time keep it as 3 mi (4.8 km). Also keep the units up to at least one decimal point.
Done
earned the Victoria Cross - Mangles, despite being wounded, use em dash
Done
Section 2.2;
magistrates (who were friends of the besieged party); change this into general prose
Done
his role as Commissioner of Patna; "the Commissioner of Patna"
Done
at about 4:00 pm; use nbsp in "4:00 pm"
Done
I already said to change the "-" in "Victoria Cross - Mangles, despite being wounded" to "em dash" i.e. —
Section 2.3;
Kunwar Singh's forces – including Kunwar Singh himself – in an; use em dashes
Done
had heard about their approach and "We are all well."; this is a bit confusing; I am not able to catch the meaning; reword it a bit
Done
reconnoitre the area – they found no sign; use em dash; also correct the spelling of reconnoitre; I think it is reconnoiter
Donereplaced with EM dash
Not done"Reconnoitre" is the correct spelling in British English. "Reconnoiter" is the US English spelling.
ready to be primed – the charge was destroyed; change this into general sentence without dash
Done
Section 3;
Governor General? name?
Done
Subadar -> Subedar
Done
Position of Sir James Outram?
Done
Link Maharaja College
Done
Images; No need of Mr in image captions of images, because this is not a honorary or military prefix
Done
Lead; I suggest you to expand it to at least two paras, but not more than four; mention something about Eyre's mission etc.
Done
27 July – 3 August 1857 -> 27 July 1857 – 3 August 1857, per
MOS:DATERANGE