Any and all of my comments are up for discussion. Once complete, I'll be using this review for points in the 2018 wikicup.
Argento Surfer (
talk) 18:39, 11 May 2018 (UTC)reply
Is it well written?
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
Lead
The lead summarizes the life section fine, but needs something from the Legacy section too. I suggest a sentence that she was an influence on later generations of Chinese actors.
Early life
no concern
Early career
"where she met Wei Heling, later a famous film actor" - He's not mentioned again. Is this significant enough to include?
Wartime
no concern
Communist China
Is her cause of death known? "By persecution" seems vague.
Legacy
"of her age" - suggest "of her era"
"she convincingly played two vastly" - convincingly is an opinion that needs to be removed or attributed to someone. vastly should be removed.
Not exactly an MOS issue, but the bottom of the article has a red notice saying "Lua error in Module:Authority_control at line 397: Tried to read nil global createRow." I'm not sure what caused this, but it needs to be corrected.
Please add the year of the photo to the captions for the infobox and the last picture. Also, I think the page would look nicer if the second image was aligned left. This is not GA requirement and if you disagree it won't affect it passing.
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
I've finished looking this over. Pass is pending the minor copyedit issues raised above.
Argento Surfer (
talk) 20:13, 11 May 2018 (UTC)reply
@
Argento Surfer: Thanks for your review. I've edited the article to incorporate almost all of your suggestions. Unfortunately I've been unable to find a source that mentions her exact cause of death. Cultural Revolution is a sensitive topic in China and most Chinese sources do not provide great details about the era. Her entry in Routledge's Biographical Dictionary of Chinese Women does not have the exact cause either. As for the "Lua error", it seems to be a temporary error caused by the
Template:authority control. It's fine on my computer. Do you still see the error message? -
Zanhe (
talk) 07:28, 12 May 2018 (UTC)reply
If the cause of death is unknown, then it's fine as is. And yes, the lua error does appear to be gone. Nice work on this one.
Argento Surfer (
talk) 12:45, 14 May 2018 (UTC)reply
Any and all of my comments are up for discussion. Once complete, I'll be using this review for points in the 2018 wikicup.
Argento Surfer (
talk) 18:39, 11 May 2018 (UTC)reply
Is it well written?
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
Lead
The lead summarizes the life section fine, but needs something from the Legacy section too. I suggest a sentence that she was an influence on later generations of Chinese actors.
Early life
no concern
Early career
"where she met Wei Heling, later a famous film actor" - He's not mentioned again. Is this significant enough to include?
Wartime
no concern
Communist China
Is her cause of death known? "By persecution" seems vague.
Legacy
"of her age" - suggest "of her era"
"she convincingly played two vastly" - convincingly is an opinion that needs to be removed or attributed to someone. vastly should be removed.
Not exactly an MOS issue, but the bottom of the article has a red notice saying "Lua error in Module:Authority_control at line 397: Tried to read nil global createRow." I'm not sure what caused this, but it needs to be corrected.
Please add the year of the photo to the captions for the infobox and the last picture. Also, I think the page would look nicer if the second image was aligned left. This is not GA requirement and if you disagree it won't affect it passing.
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
I've finished looking this over. Pass is pending the minor copyedit issues raised above.
Argento Surfer (
talk) 20:13, 11 May 2018 (UTC)reply
@
Argento Surfer: Thanks for your review. I've edited the article to incorporate almost all of your suggestions. Unfortunately I've been unable to find a source that mentions her exact cause of death. Cultural Revolution is a sensitive topic in China and most Chinese sources do not provide great details about the era. Her entry in Routledge's Biographical Dictionary of Chinese Women does not have the exact cause either. As for the "Lua error", it seems to be a temporary error caused by the
Template:authority control. It's fine on my computer. Do you still see the error message? -
Zanhe (
talk) 07:28, 12 May 2018 (UTC)reply
If the cause of death is unknown, then it's fine as is. And yes, the lua error does appear to be gone. Nice work on this one.
Argento Surfer (
talk) 12:45, 14 May 2018 (UTC)reply