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Reviewer: Kusma ( talk · contribs) 16:25, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
Will have a look at this one tonight or within the next few days. —
Kusma (
talk)
16:25, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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Nice article about a rapid transit station. I haven't been to Singapore, but will assume things are very similar to Hong Kong MTR and Taipei MRT that I have more experience with.
I'll go through section by section below and make detailed comments, mostly rather minor points. — Kusma ( talk) 23:37, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
alignmentwhat was supposed to align with what?
The station's construction was confirmed in 1996; its constructiontry to remove the duplicate "construction" (once talking about the plan to do it, once talking about the way how it was done); the first time you really mean something like "It was confirmed in 1996 that the station would be built".
entrances, ... which are triangular-shaped and enclosed in cubic structuresI tried to imagine this and couldn't. The picture shows an entrance that doesn't look triangle-shaped (you should choose "triangle-shaped" or "triangular") at all from this angle. Try to explain this better and add a picture in the relevant section in the body?
not financially viableI'd be happier if you could hedge this into "not considered financially viable" or something.
A few public facilities were taken over, and new carpark lots and a new basketball court were built as replacements.Were these different types of public facilities or also car parks and sports courts?
The works also involved monitoring the residential buildings because of the proximity of the works to the surrounding structures. This ensured that the building's foundations were not affectedI think you could tighten this a bit. ("Residential buildings nearby were monitored to ensure that the foundations were not affected" or something). In any case, decide whether "building" is singular or plural here.
screenings machines deployed for the exercise include"screening machines ... included?" But it is possible that it is correct as you wrote it depending on what you mean.
Such exercises were conducted ...Not sure this sentence adds very much information to what is already there.
relieving to their children about the kampung daysI don't understand what that means.
Even if the original work was protected by the glass, the panels might still break.Not sure that this clarification of the concerns is necessary. In any case, remove "the" before "glass".
The CCL platforms featureif it is all of them, perhaps strengthen "All of the CCL platforms feature". Otherwise, clarify how typical Serangoon is in this respect.
"impressed"I don't understand why you use quotes here. If you do, it should be attributed in the text who said this.
I think that's everything. Nice work! I'll put this on hold but don't think it will take long to address my points. — Kusma ( talk) 23:37, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
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Reviewer: Kusma ( talk · contribs) 16:25, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
Will have a look at this one tonight or within the next few days. —
Kusma (
talk)
16:25, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
Nice article about a rapid transit station. I haven't been to Singapore, but will assume things are very similar to Hong Kong MTR and Taipei MRT that I have more experience with.
I'll go through section by section below and make detailed comments, mostly rather minor points. — Kusma ( talk) 23:37, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
alignmentwhat was supposed to align with what?
The station's construction was confirmed in 1996; its constructiontry to remove the duplicate "construction" (once talking about the plan to do it, once talking about the way how it was done); the first time you really mean something like "It was confirmed in 1996 that the station would be built".
entrances, ... which are triangular-shaped and enclosed in cubic structuresI tried to imagine this and couldn't. The picture shows an entrance that doesn't look triangle-shaped (you should choose "triangle-shaped" or "triangular") at all from this angle. Try to explain this better and add a picture in the relevant section in the body?
not financially viableI'd be happier if you could hedge this into "not considered financially viable" or something.
A few public facilities were taken over, and new carpark lots and a new basketball court were built as replacements.Were these different types of public facilities or also car parks and sports courts?
The works also involved monitoring the residential buildings because of the proximity of the works to the surrounding structures. This ensured that the building's foundations were not affectedI think you could tighten this a bit. ("Residential buildings nearby were monitored to ensure that the foundations were not affected" or something). In any case, decide whether "building" is singular or plural here.
screenings machines deployed for the exercise include"screening machines ... included?" But it is possible that it is correct as you wrote it depending on what you mean.
Such exercises were conducted ...Not sure this sentence adds very much information to what is already there.
relieving to their children about the kampung daysI don't understand what that means.
Even if the original work was protected by the glass, the panels might still break.Not sure that this clarification of the concerns is necessary. In any case, remove "the" before "glass".
The CCL platforms featureif it is all of them, perhaps strengthen "All of the CCL platforms feature". Otherwise, clarify how typical Serangoon is in this respect.
"impressed"I don't understand why you use quotes here. If you do, it should be attributed in the text who said this.
I think that's everything. Nice work! I'll put this on hold but don't think it will take long to address my points. — Kusma ( talk) 23:37, 24 February 2022 (UTC)