Redirects: Since
Mega Modem redirects here, the words should be bolded when first used in this article. It would also be better to use the term in the first paragraph. Also, I think
Sega Mega Anser (and
Mega Anser) should redirect here, not to the Genesis article, which would mean that the first use of that term should be bolded as well.
Great, but Mega Anser should be bolded the first time it's mentioned, in the lead, not the second. Also, I still think the Mega Modem is important enough to the article that it should be mentioned (and bolded) in the lead. –
Quadell(
talk)14:52, 14 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Lead: Speaking of which, the lead should really be expanded a little to adequately cover all sections. Perhaps a tad more on the game library and/or reception?
Question: Is it true that "The system offered ... Mega Anser"? It sounded to me like the Mega Anser was separate. Though both used the same Mega Modem, wouldn't you have to buy that system separately? Perhaps it would be more accurate to say "The system offered several unique titles that could be downloaded, and a few could be played competitively with friends. In addition, it shared technology and equipment with more serious services such as the Mega Anser, used for banking purposes."
Wording: "would be short-lived and last approximately a year before being discontinued" sounds redundant. Perhaps "would be short-lived, lasting approximately a year before it was discontinued"?
Question: This article says that around 1989 or so, "Sega began work on an Internet service, similar to what Nintendo had attempted with the Nintendo Network for the NES." But the
Nintendo Network article says the service was launched in 2012, and has no information on any earlier incarnation. Was it called "Nintendo Network" back then?
It was, according to reference #3, but it appears to be something that's been kicked around as a name for an unreleased NA version of the service. What's being referred to is in the article
Famicom Modem. Perhaps the Japanese name referenced for that service, "Famicom Tsushin", would be a better term, and can link to Famicom Modem. I'll make that happen.
Red Phoenixbuild the future...remember the past...02:49, 14 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Clarity: Did JP¥12,800 include the cost of the Mega Modem? Or did the consumer have to buy the modem, then pay JP¥12,800 as a start-up fee, then pay 800/month?
Clarity: When you say "it was eventually cancelled for the region", do you mean it was never actually released in North America? (It sounds like you could mean that it was available for a time, but was later cancelled.)
That is what's meant. Commonly in the video game industry, "cancelled" is the term for an item that has been announced but not officially released, and "discontinued" is the term for something that was available for a time and no longer in service. However, I'll go ahead and clarify this, as it's not really a whole lot of difference.
Red Phoenixbuild the future...remember the past...02:49, 14 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Clarity: It's easy for a newbie to confuse the Mega Drive, Mega Modem, and Meganet. The last paragraph of "History" twice refers to "the system". Since the previous paragraph wasn't about the Meganet proper, it would be best to replace the second mention with "the Meganet system". Similarly, the next sentence would do better to say "a remodeled version of the Mega Drive console".
Clarity: "praising the concepts and the ideas to bring online gaming to video game consoles". That's really one idea, not "concepts and ideas", which is redundant anyway. Also, didn't Nintendo already do this? If so, it wasn't really Sega's "idea". Perhaps it should be something like "praising the early initiative to develop online gaming for video consoles" or something.
Quotes: The last paragraph of "Reception and legacy" is almost entirely a single, long quote. Consider quoting only a portion of that, and rewriting the rest as a summary of the author's assessment in your own words.
GA review (see
here for what the criteria are, and
here for what they are not)
This article, while short, is quite strong and is reasonably complete. It is well-organized and well-sourced. All images are used appropriately, and there are no bias problems. A few problems and opportunities for improvements are listed above.
Redirects: Since
Mega Modem redirects here, the words should be bolded when first used in this article. It would also be better to use the term in the first paragraph. Also, I think
Sega Mega Anser (and
Mega Anser) should redirect here, not to the Genesis article, which would mean that the first use of that term should be bolded as well.
Great, but Mega Anser should be bolded the first time it's mentioned, in the lead, not the second. Also, I still think the Mega Modem is important enough to the article that it should be mentioned (and bolded) in the lead. –
Quadell(
talk)14:52, 14 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Lead: Speaking of which, the lead should really be expanded a little to adequately cover all sections. Perhaps a tad more on the game library and/or reception?
Question: Is it true that "The system offered ... Mega Anser"? It sounded to me like the Mega Anser was separate. Though both used the same Mega Modem, wouldn't you have to buy that system separately? Perhaps it would be more accurate to say "The system offered several unique titles that could be downloaded, and a few could be played competitively with friends. In addition, it shared technology and equipment with more serious services such as the Mega Anser, used for banking purposes."
Wording: "would be short-lived and last approximately a year before being discontinued" sounds redundant. Perhaps "would be short-lived, lasting approximately a year before it was discontinued"?
Question: This article says that around 1989 or so, "Sega began work on an Internet service, similar to what Nintendo had attempted with the Nintendo Network for the NES." But the
Nintendo Network article says the service was launched in 2012, and has no information on any earlier incarnation. Was it called "Nintendo Network" back then?
It was, according to reference #3, but it appears to be something that's been kicked around as a name for an unreleased NA version of the service. What's being referred to is in the article
Famicom Modem. Perhaps the Japanese name referenced for that service, "Famicom Tsushin", would be a better term, and can link to Famicom Modem. I'll make that happen.
Red Phoenixbuild the future...remember the past...02:49, 14 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Clarity: Did JP¥12,800 include the cost of the Mega Modem? Or did the consumer have to buy the modem, then pay JP¥12,800 as a start-up fee, then pay 800/month?
Clarity: When you say "it was eventually cancelled for the region", do you mean it was never actually released in North America? (It sounds like you could mean that it was available for a time, but was later cancelled.)
That is what's meant. Commonly in the video game industry, "cancelled" is the term for an item that has been announced but not officially released, and "discontinued" is the term for something that was available for a time and no longer in service. However, I'll go ahead and clarify this, as it's not really a whole lot of difference.
Red Phoenixbuild the future...remember the past...02:49, 14 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Clarity: It's easy for a newbie to confuse the Mega Drive, Mega Modem, and Meganet. The last paragraph of "History" twice refers to "the system". Since the previous paragraph wasn't about the Meganet proper, it would be best to replace the second mention with "the Meganet system". Similarly, the next sentence would do better to say "a remodeled version of the Mega Drive console".
Clarity: "praising the concepts and the ideas to bring online gaming to video game consoles". That's really one idea, not "concepts and ideas", which is redundant anyway. Also, didn't Nintendo already do this? If so, it wasn't really Sega's "idea". Perhaps it should be something like "praising the early initiative to develop online gaming for video consoles" or something.
Quotes: The last paragraph of "Reception and legacy" is almost entirely a single, long quote. Consider quoting only a portion of that, and rewriting the rest as a summary of the author's assessment in your own words.
GA review (see
here for what the criteria are, and
here for what they are not)
This article, while short, is quite strong and is reasonably complete. It is well-organized and well-sourced. All images are used appropriately, and there are no bias problems. A few problems and opportunities for improvements are listed above.