"breaking the cosmic Music with discord" - could do with a bit of explanation.
Glossed.
"which Sauron followed" - followed chronologically, or in the sense of "acted according to"?
"continued".
"Downfall" isn't a word used in the previous section consider renaming that section "Downfall of Númenor" or decapitalising it in the text.
Fixed.
"Gollum's friend.." should this be "Sméagol's friend.."? I don't think he was called Gollum at that time. If this is changed, then there should be a mention that he was later known as Gollum, as that name occurs a few times in the article.
Quite right. Done.
Appearance
Suggest adding a word or to to introduce Gorlim.
Glossed.
"who has daunting eyes" - I think should be "who had daunting eyes"
Done.
"This raises the question of whether an "Eye" was Sauron's actual manifestation," - is that within "The Black Gate is Closed"?
No it's Christopher Tolkien. Repeated ref for clarity.
Concept and creation
"probably of the Eldar elves" is missing a citation. (Unless already supported by the Auden source.)
Removed.
"Other critics came closer to the mark;" - only one is mentioned, either reword or mention another. (Unless already supported by the Auden source.)
Reworded.
"1967" - publication was June 1968, but the conjecture may well be from 1967. Just noting this in case there is a typo in a year.
Fixed.
Interpretations
Looks fine.
Noted.
Adaptations
"portrayed as a humanoid creature ... in Ralph Bakshi's 1978 animated version" needs a source.
Fixed.
I had my doubts about cedmagic as a source but after looking at the author page, I think it's acceptable.
Noted.
The Telegraph source doesn't support all the titles listed for video games.
Added ref.
In culture
Looks fine.
Noted.
Infobox and Lead
Both look fine.
Noted.
Images
No issues.
Noted.
Copyvio and plagiarism check
Checked all matches above 4% on Earwig's Copyvio Detector. No concerns.
Thanks for all your work on the article
Chiswick Chap. I find the article to be comprehensive, balanced, well-structured and well-written. I've listed some points for consideration above. Regards,
BennyOnTheLoose (
talk)
21:20, 2 July 2020 (UTC)reply
"breaking the cosmic Music with discord" - could do with a bit of explanation.
Glossed.
"which Sauron followed" - followed chronologically, or in the sense of "acted according to"?
"continued".
"Downfall" isn't a word used in the previous section consider renaming that section "Downfall of Númenor" or decapitalising it in the text.
Fixed.
"Gollum's friend.." should this be "Sméagol's friend.."? I don't think he was called Gollum at that time. If this is changed, then there should be a mention that he was later known as Gollum, as that name occurs a few times in the article.
Quite right. Done.
Appearance
Suggest adding a word or to to introduce Gorlim.
Glossed.
"who has daunting eyes" - I think should be "who had daunting eyes"
Done.
"This raises the question of whether an "Eye" was Sauron's actual manifestation," - is that within "The Black Gate is Closed"?
No it's Christopher Tolkien. Repeated ref for clarity.
Concept and creation
"probably of the Eldar elves" is missing a citation. (Unless already supported by the Auden source.)
Removed.
"Other critics came closer to the mark;" - only one is mentioned, either reword or mention another. (Unless already supported by the Auden source.)
Reworded.
"1967" - publication was June 1968, but the conjecture may well be from 1967. Just noting this in case there is a typo in a year.
Fixed.
Interpretations
Looks fine.
Noted.
Adaptations
"portrayed as a humanoid creature ... in Ralph Bakshi's 1978 animated version" needs a source.
Fixed.
I had my doubts about cedmagic as a source but after looking at the author page, I think it's acceptable.
Noted.
The Telegraph source doesn't support all the titles listed for video games.
Added ref.
In culture
Looks fine.
Noted.
Infobox and Lead
Both look fine.
Noted.
Images
No issues.
Noted.
Copyvio and plagiarism check
Checked all matches above 4% on Earwig's Copyvio Detector. No concerns.
Thanks for all your work on the article
Chiswick Chap. I find the article to be comprehensive, balanced, well-structured and well-written. I've listed some points for consideration above. Regards,
BennyOnTheLoose (
talk)
21:20, 2 July 2020 (UTC)reply