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I will get to reviewing this article properly soon, just got a few initial comments for now. First of all, the critical reception section could do with expanding since you have numerous reviews there but didn't write out very much and secondly, redlinks should be fixed. There's obviously more issues but I'll help you out with them soon, all the best! --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
19:52, 20 April 2020 (UTC)reply
Infobox
Refs should not be in the infobox but I will break this down in relevant terms
Ref 1 is not required as we know it was released on that date and is pop; write out alternative r&b in comp section
Surely Sony Music should be mentioned here as I said earlier? If you need to move ref 5 to here, then do it and don't put it back in the lead; also, if ref 6 is needed for the beginning sentence as well as the second, put it after both of them if you insert ref 5 at the end of the first sentence
"The duo has to a further extent used depictions in" → "They have used depictions to a further extent in" as you have directly copied a bit heavily from the translation
"present their most personal side, where Heisann Montebello was a strong political messages," → "present their most personal side on the EP; contrasting with Heisann Montebello strong political messages,"
"The work on the recording" not sure if this means the work on the recording as in the EP or the work on the recording as in working on the recording of the EP?
"elements like more distortion. Axxe explain the use of distortion" → "elements, including more distortion, which Aksel "Axxe" Carlson explained as being used for"
"The EP is Karpes most critically acclaimed release (by February 2020)." → "As of February 2020, Sas Plus/Sas Pussy is Karpe's most critically acclaimed release."
Reviews should not have one paragraph for each one. Also, they should go in order to the least positive at the end of this section; this will be easier to organize once you have written out more prose, but I suggest putting GAFFA and Dagbladet above VG for now
I said they should go in order to the leave positive at the end; that means the most positive should have been written out earlier in the section – you have clearly done this in the wrong order. --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
12:17, 28 May 2020 (UTC)reply
Should be written out in prose, since a table is not needed for four awards and I may suggest further changes once you have done that; however, why is no category named for the Nordic Music Prize 2020?
Ref 7 is at 47.9% on copyvio; that's got to be fixed
Hmmm.. This is only for the quotes. It's a short article so I understand the high percentage, but I find the artist to be the best source to describe the album. How should we solve this? -
Premeditated (
talk)
15:22, 27 May 2020 (UTC)reply
You can just change a few parts where there's quotes to being in your own words more but still determining the point of what is said. --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
08:14, 28 May 2020 (UTC)reply
Premeditated I didn't mean literally add italics in the parameter; cite as a work/website with no italics added in the parameter and I just did that for showing how it looks --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
13:08, 30 May 2020 (UTC)reply
Many changes to make but nothing too bad, I will likely suggest a number of further changes after the initial ones have been made. On hold for now, giving you over a week on this though... don't take too long, however! --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
09:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)reply
For anyone who may be confused why this article has been on hold for quite a while, it is because the nominator has exams that they need to complete, which are currently being prioritised by them over the article; this behaviour is acceptable, hence the lack of a ✗ Fail from me. --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
11:12, 3 May 2020 (UTC)reply
This is the
talk page for discussing improvements to the
Sas Plus/Sas Pussy article. This is
not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject.
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Albums, an attempt at building a useful resource on recordings from a variety of genres. If you would like to participate, visit the
project page, where you can join the project and/or contribute to the
discussion.AlbumsWikipedia:WikiProject AlbumsTemplate:WikiProject AlbumsAlbum articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Norway, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Norway on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.NorwayWikipedia:WikiProject NorwayTemplate:WikiProject NorwayNorway articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Pop music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of articles related to
pop music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Pop musicWikipedia:WikiProject Pop musicTemplate:WikiProject Pop musicPop music articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Hip hop, a collaborative effort to build a useful resource for and improve the coverage of
hip hop on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, visit the
project page, where you can join the project and/or contribute to the
discussion.Hip hopWikipedia:WikiProject Hip hopTemplate:WikiProject Hip hopHip hop articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject R&B and Soul Music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of R&B and Soul Music articles on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.R&B and Soul MusicWikipedia:WikiProject R&B and Soul MusicTemplate:WikiProject R&B and Soul MusicR&B and Soul Music articles
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the
Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
I will get to reviewing this article properly soon, just got a few initial comments for now. First of all, the critical reception section could do with expanding since you have numerous reviews there but didn't write out very much and secondly, redlinks should be fixed. There's obviously more issues but I'll help you out with them soon, all the best! --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
19:52, 20 April 2020 (UTC)reply
Infobox
Refs should not be in the infobox but I will break this down in relevant terms
Ref 1 is not required as we know it was released on that date and is pop; write out alternative r&b in comp section
Surely Sony Music should be mentioned here as I said earlier? If you need to move ref 5 to here, then do it and don't put it back in the lead; also, if ref 6 is needed for the beginning sentence as well as the second, put it after both of them if you insert ref 5 at the end of the first sentence
"The duo has to a further extent used depictions in" → "They have used depictions to a further extent in" as you have directly copied a bit heavily from the translation
"present their most personal side, where Heisann Montebello was a strong political messages," → "present their most personal side on the EP; contrasting with Heisann Montebello strong political messages,"
"The work on the recording" not sure if this means the work on the recording as in the EP or the work on the recording as in working on the recording of the EP?
"elements like more distortion. Axxe explain the use of distortion" → "elements, including more distortion, which Aksel "Axxe" Carlson explained as being used for"
"The EP is Karpes most critically acclaimed release (by February 2020)." → "As of February 2020, Sas Plus/Sas Pussy is Karpe's most critically acclaimed release."
Reviews should not have one paragraph for each one. Also, they should go in order to the least positive at the end of this section; this will be easier to organize once you have written out more prose, but I suggest putting GAFFA and Dagbladet above VG for now
I said they should go in order to the leave positive at the end; that means the most positive should have been written out earlier in the section – you have clearly done this in the wrong order. --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
12:17, 28 May 2020 (UTC)reply
Should be written out in prose, since a table is not needed for four awards and I may suggest further changes once you have done that; however, why is no category named for the Nordic Music Prize 2020?
Ref 7 is at 47.9% on copyvio; that's got to be fixed
Hmmm.. This is only for the quotes. It's a short article so I understand the high percentage, but I find the artist to be the best source to describe the album. How should we solve this? -
Premeditated (
talk)
15:22, 27 May 2020 (UTC)reply
You can just change a few parts where there's quotes to being in your own words more but still determining the point of what is said. --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
08:14, 28 May 2020 (UTC)reply
Premeditated I didn't mean literally add italics in the parameter; cite as a work/website with no italics added in the parameter and I just did that for showing how it looks --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
13:08, 30 May 2020 (UTC)reply
Many changes to make but nothing too bad, I will likely suggest a number of further changes after the initial ones have been made. On hold for now, giving you over a week on this though... don't take too long, however! --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
09:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)reply
For anyone who may be confused why this article has been on hold for quite a while, it is because the nominator has exams that they need to complete, which are currently being prioritised by them over the article; this behaviour is acceptable, hence the lack of a ✗ Fail from me. --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
11:12, 3 May 2020 (UTC)reply