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talk page for discussing improvements to the
Sarah Crosby article. This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject. |
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![]() | This article was created as a spinoff from Methodist Girls' School, Ipoh. Editor yuitsum was in Crosby house at that school and so we didn't want it to be a red link. Some research was required to find out who she was... |
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![]() | A fact from this article was featured on Wikipedia's Main Page in the On this day section on October 6, 2018 and October 6, 2023. |
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available
on the course page. Student editor(s):
Hemarcello.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT ( talk) 03:20, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
{{
cite book}}
: CS1 maint: location (
link)Hemarcello ( talk) 04:15, 19 April 2018 (UTC)
(For starters, I apologize if this section comes off as condescending give the dispute on versions of this page - I just want to offer advice that I think is sound)
(Before-post edit: Ahhh! I did break the banners! Man, that's pretty embarrassing. Thanks for fixing it!)
Firstly, I want to congratulate you (
Hemarcello) on your work here, as at
Mary Bosanquet Fletcher, which you have made a C and B-class respectively. I thought I should offer some advice to make it better. Firstly, your prose, while well-cited, is not concise and feels needlessly long. For example, Crosby did not become particularly interested in religion until she was 14 years old, when she began to attend Anglican services. Around this time she started to develop a fear of death, which pushed her to become more religious. Her fear of death became most pronounced when she was 17, perhaps because of a bout of illness. As a result, she devoted herself even more to religion, fearing that she would die and be sent to Hell.
feels very mechanical. Rather, I propose: Crosby did not become interested in religion until she began attending Anglican services at 14 years of age. She developed a fear of death that became very pronounced three years later, perhaps because of a bout of illness, pushing her to become more religious out of a fear that she would go to Hell.
However, it could just be that you're compiling prose to be later condensed and I just don't know that.
The other thing is citations in certain areas, such as here: During the summer of 1758 Crosby moved to the Moorfields, to live with Sarah Ryan, Mary Clark, and Mary Bosanquet, all of whom would become prominent female figures in Methodism in the years to come.[19] They worked together to assist the poor and disabled.[19]
and Because there was no Methodist Society in Leytonstone,[40] Mary Bosanquet and Crosby instituted nightly Scriptural readings and prayer.[41] The women asked John Wesley to send them a preacher in order to have a more religious environment inside of the orphanage.[41]
. Same disclaimer as above applies, but it looks much cleaner to have sentences or entire paragraphs end in one citation - as long as the source used is credible, you're good to go.
And on the topic of sources and citation, I'd like to address the References section. You have "Bibliography" below References, but each citation still uses the full wikicode syntax and sometimes twice or more for the same book but a different page. It's easy enough to shrink these down for the benefit of the reader, however. Consider Template:Ref, which allows you to name citations, or Template:Sfn, which generates a Harvard reference and a link to the work you cited in the bibliography, as long as you attach within the Cite book or journal templates. This will condense "References" and make it much easier for a reader to trace a citation to its source reference, which they can use for their own research.
X – Vami _IV✠ 23:59, 8 June 2018 (UTC)
This is the
talk page for discussing improvements to the
Sarah Crosby article. This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject. |
Article policies
|
Find sources: Google ( books · news · scholar · free images · WP refs) · FENS · JSTOR · TWL |
![]() | This article was created as a spinoff from Methodist Girls' School, Ipoh. Editor yuitsum was in Crosby house at that school and so we didn't want it to be a red link. Some research was required to find out who she was... |
![]() | This article is rated B-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to multiple WikiProjects. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
![]() | A fact from this article was featured on Wikipedia's Main Page in the On this day section on October 6, 2018 and October 6, 2023. |
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available
on the course page. Student editor(s):
Hemarcello.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT ( talk) 03:20, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
{{
cite book}}
: CS1 maint: location (
link)Hemarcello ( talk) 04:15, 19 April 2018 (UTC)
(For starters, I apologize if this section comes off as condescending give the dispute on versions of this page - I just want to offer advice that I think is sound)
(Before-post edit: Ahhh! I did break the banners! Man, that's pretty embarrassing. Thanks for fixing it!)
Firstly, I want to congratulate you (
Hemarcello) on your work here, as at
Mary Bosanquet Fletcher, which you have made a C and B-class respectively. I thought I should offer some advice to make it better. Firstly, your prose, while well-cited, is not concise and feels needlessly long. For example, Crosby did not become particularly interested in religion until she was 14 years old, when she began to attend Anglican services. Around this time she started to develop a fear of death, which pushed her to become more religious. Her fear of death became most pronounced when she was 17, perhaps because of a bout of illness. As a result, she devoted herself even more to religion, fearing that she would die and be sent to Hell.
feels very mechanical. Rather, I propose: Crosby did not become interested in religion until she began attending Anglican services at 14 years of age. She developed a fear of death that became very pronounced three years later, perhaps because of a bout of illness, pushing her to become more religious out of a fear that she would go to Hell.
However, it could just be that you're compiling prose to be later condensed and I just don't know that.
The other thing is citations in certain areas, such as here: During the summer of 1758 Crosby moved to the Moorfields, to live with Sarah Ryan, Mary Clark, and Mary Bosanquet, all of whom would become prominent female figures in Methodism in the years to come.[19] They worked together to assist the poor and disabled.[19]
and Because there was no Methodist Society in Leytonstone,[40] Mary Bosanquet and Crosby instituted nightly Scriptural readings and prayer.[41] The women asked John Wesley to send them a preacher in order to have a more religious environment inside of the orphanage.[41]
. Same disclaimer as above applies, but it looks much cleaner to have sentences or entire paragraphs end in one citation - as long as the source used is credible, you're good to go.
And on the topic of sources and citation, I'd like to address the References section. You have "Bibliography" below References, but each citation still uses the full wikicode syntax and sometimes twice or more for the same book but a different page. It's easy enough to shrink these down for the benefit of the reader, however. Consider Template:Ref, which allows you to name citations, or Template:Sfn, which generates a Harvard reference and a link to the work you cited in the bibliography, as long as you attach within the Cite book or journal templates. This will condense "References" and make it much easier for a reader to trace a citation to its source reference, which they can use for their own research.
X – Vami _IV✠ 23:59, 8 June 2018 (UTC)