"'SOS' is a dance-pop and R&B song, with elements of dance music and contains a compositional sample of 'Tainted Love', a song written by Ed Cobb in 1965." Move the comma so it is after "dance music". I also think you should add that the song was made popular by
Soft Cell, because that is the more well-known version.
"In Europe, the song peaked inside the top-five on most countries singles charts..." I think the "most countries singles charts" part is oddly worded. I would recommend "on many charts across the continent" or something of that nature. Also, why is "top five" hyphenated?
"'SOS' was performed live at the 2006 MTV EMA awards in Copenhagen, Denmark." What makes this performance more notable than the others?
That is the only live performance I could source, hence why there is no Live performance section.
Aaron •
You Da One
"The song was included on the set list of the Last Girl on Earth Tour (2010-11), performing a 'rock-influenced' version." This sentence does not say who was performing it; change to "The song was included on the set list of the Last Girl on Earth Tour (2010-11), in which Rihanna performed 'rock-influenced' version."
"In an interview with HitQuarters, Rotem explain the song's conception..." --> "In an interview with HitQuarters, Rotem explained the song's conception..."
"explained that the reason why he compressed the background vocals was because 'SOS' is a 'high energy track,'" --> "explained that he compressed the background vocals because 'SOS' is a 'high energy track,'"
"Tan also noted that the background vocals were pitch shifted, so that they tonal quality could be increased and to create an enhanced effect during the chorus." Change to "Tan also noted that the background vocals were pitch shifted to increase tonal quality and create an enhanced effect during the chorus."
"The pitch shifting consisted of making the left vocals flat and the right vocals sharp, with varying degrees of delay, and were then mixed together." --> "and later mixing them together".
"Tan continued to note that there is not a lot of reverb included on "SOS", largely due to the fact that there was not a lot of room left to add anything else, being a up-tempo song." --> "Tan continued to note that the lack of reverb included on "SOS" was largely due to the fact that being an uptempo song, there was not a lot of room left to add anything else."
"'SOS' is a up-tempo[8] dance-pop and contemporary R&B song,[10] and it draws influence from dance music." --> "'SOS' is a up-tempo[8] dance-pop and contemporary R&B song[10] that influence from dance music."
It seems a bit like the second paragraph of this section should be added to the "Critical reception" section, but either way works. I would suggest that you add a sentence at the beginning of the paragraph that says "The use of the 'Tainted Love' sample was well-received by critics".
"The maxi single included both the radio edit and instrumental versions of "SOS", as well as album track "Break It Off", which features Sean Paul." --> "as well as the album track "Break It Off", which features Jamaican reggae singer Sean Paul."
"Despite praising "SOS", Cinquemani continued to write that it was the only song on A Girl Like Me which displayed a high level of 'audacity'." I think that he meant that the "audacity" was a positive thing. Or are you comparing it to how he felt about the other songs on the album? Please clarify.
I don't say it is either positive or negative.
Aaron •
You Da One
Chart performance
"becoming the singers first number one single on the Hot 100." --> "becoming the singer's first number one single on the Hot 100."
"whilst another was shot for a Nike campaign." I think "while" would be better to use here.
You shouldn't use "while" in prose really. "Whilst" is more professional standard of writing.
Aaron •
You Da One
Never heard that before. From what I know, "whilst" is more common in British English, but "while" is the preferred choice. Check out the Misplaced formality section of Tony1's
WP:1A guide. —
WP:PENGUIN·[
TALK ]19:12, 7 February 2012 (UTC)reply
"The video begins with Rihanna wearing a low cut green dress, dancing in front tropical plants on a beach, whilst singing the hook." --> "The video begins with Rihanna singing the hook while wearing a low cut green dress and dancing in front tropical plants on a beach."
"'SOS' is a dance-pop and R&B song, with elements of dance music and contains a compositional sample of 'Tainted Love', a song written by Ed Cobb in 1965." Move the comma so it is after "dance music". I also think you should add that the song was made popular by
Soft Cell, because that is the more well-known version.
"In Europe, the song peaked inside the top-five on most countries singles charts..." I think the "most countries singles charts" part is oddly worded. I would recommend "on many charts across the continent" or something of that nature. Also, why is "top five" hyphenated?
"'SOS' was performed live at the 2006 MTV EMA awards in Copenhagen, Denmark." What makes this performance more notable than the others?
That is the only live performance I could source, hence why there is no Live performance section.
Aaron •
You Da One
"The song was included on the set list of the Last Girl on Earth Tour (2010-11), performing a 'rock-influenced' version." This sentence does not say who was performing it; change to "The song was included on the set list of the Last Girl on Earth Tour (2010-11), in which Rihanna performed 'rock-influenced' version."
"In an interview with HitQuarters, Rotem explain the song's conception..." --> "In an interview with HitQuarters, Rotem explained the song's conception..."
"explained that the reason why he compressed the background vocals was because 'SOS' is a 'high energy track,'" --> "explained that he compressed the background vocals because 'SOS' is a 'high energy track,'"
"Tan also noted that the background vocals were pitch shifted, so that they tonal quality could be increased and to create an enhanced effect during the chorus." Change to "Tan also noted that the background vocals were pitch shifted to increase tonal quality and create an enhanced effect during the chorus."
"The pitch shifting consisted of making the left vocals flat and the right vocals sharp, with varying degrees of delay, and were then mixed together." --> "and later mixing them together".
"Tan continued to note that there is not a lot of reverb included on "SOS", largely due to the fact that there was not a lot of room left to add anything else, being a up-tempo song." --> "Tan continued to note that the lack of reverb included on "SOS" was largely due to the fact that being an uptempo song, there was not a lot of room left to add anything else."
"'SOS' is a up-tempo[8] dance-pop and contemporary R&B song,[10] and it draws influence from dance music." --> "'SOS' is a up-tempo[8] dance-pop and contemporary R&B song[10] that influence from dance music."
It seems a bit like the second paragraph of this section should be added to the "Critical reception" section, but either way works. I would suggest that you add a sentence at the beginning of the paragraph that says "The use of the 'Tainted Love' sample was well-received by critics".
"The maxi single included both the radio edit and instrumental versions of "SOS", as well as album track "Break It Off", which features Sean Paul." --> "as well as the album track "Break It Off", which features Jamaican reggae singer Sean Paul."
"Despite praising "SOS", Cinquemani continued to write that it was the only song on A Girl Like Me which displayed a high level of 'audacity'." I think that he meant that the "audacity" was a positive thing. Or are you comparing it to how he felt about the other songs on the album? Please clarify.
I don't say it is either positive or negative.
Aaron •
You Da One
Chart performance
"becoming the singers first number one single on the Hot 100." --> "becoming the singer's first number one single on the Hot 100."
"whilst another was shot for a Nike campaign." I think "while" would be better to use here.
You shouldn't use "while" in prose really. "Whilst" is more professional standard of writing.
Aaron •
You Da One
Never heard that before. From what I know, "whilst" is more common in British English, but "while" is the preferred choice. Check out the Misplaced formality section of Tony1's
WP:1A guide. —
WP:PENGUIN·[
TALK ]19:12, 7 February 2012 (UTC)reply
"The video begins with Rihanna wearing a low cut green dress, dancing in front tropical plants on a beach, whilst singing the hook." --> "The video begins with Rihanna singing the hook while wearing a low cut green dress and dancing in front tropical plants on a beach."