The lead dioes not fully summarize the article, please see
WP:LEAD
After bringing gifts of ivory and walrus hide, and a "white bear" for the king, the king appointed Arnold, one of his chief clerks, to be Greenland's first bishop. Presumably Sockesson brought the gifts, but this needs to be in the sentence.
At the settlement's height, there were four thousand Norse Catholics in two settlements. Poor prose. "At the height of the settlement's extent" or similar.
Sixteen parishes and churches were founded along with several monasteries and even Benedictine nuns in a convent. "even" is a
weasel word here.
Churches built in Greenland were not independent properties owned by the church, but were built on farmland given by local farmers and other chief villagers, and collected a part of the tithes given to the church and sent to the archbishop in Nidaros. Confusing, rephrase.
Attempts were made in nearby Scandinavian countries to take control of the local churches, and Norway's control of Greenland in 1261 may have put pressure on local churches to become independent, just as they had in Norway "nearby"? The whole sentence is clumsy and needs rewriting.
Bishop Arnes in 1281 contributed to Peter's Pence and the expenses of the Crusades with walrus tusks and polar bear hides, and tithing continued in later years by selling the raw materials for gold and silver. What raw materials are these?
The introduction of Christianity is thought to have caused a major cultural break from the past, introducing many mainland European ideas and practices, such as the building of large churches and cathedrals, and this connection was maintained by the fact that the bishops appointed to Greenland were from Scandinavia, and not locals. Again clumsy, please get the whole article copy-edited, it is pointless trying to review such shoddy prose.
Despite some of the errors above having been corrected, there remain basic errors of grammar throughout the article. I suggest you get someone who can read and write good plain English to copy-edit thoroughly.
Jezhotwells (
talk)
17:35, 27 March 2011 (UTC)reply
The lead dioes not fully summarize the article, please see
WP:LEAD
After bringing gifts of ivory and walrus hide, and a "white bear" for the king, the king appointed Arnold, one of his chief clerks, to be Greenland's first bishop. Presumably Sockesson brought the gifts, but this needs to be in the sentence.
At the settlement's height, there were four thousand Norse Catholics in two settlements. Poor prose. "At the height of the settlement's extent" or similar.
Sixteen parishes and churches were founded along with several monasteries and even Benedictine nuns in a convent. "even" is a
weasel word here.
Churches built in Greenland were not independent properties owned by the church, but were built on farmland given by local farmers and other chief villagers, and collected a part of the tithes given to the church and sent to the archbishop in Nidaros. Confusing, rephrase.
Attempts were made in nearby Scandinavian countries to take control of the local churches, and Norway's control of Greenland in 1261 may have put pressure on local churches to become independent, just as they had in Norway "nearby"? The whole sentence is clumsy and needs rewriting.
Bishop Arnes in 1281 contributed to Peter's Pence and the expenses of the Crusades with walrus tusks and polar bear hides, and tithing continued in later years by selling the raw materials for gold and silver. What raw materials are these?
The introduction of Christianity is thought to have caused a major cultural break from the past, introducing many mainland European ideas and practices, such as the building of large churches and cathedrals, and this connection was maintained by the fact that the bishops appointed to Greenland were from Scandinavia, and not locals. Again clumsy, please get the whole article copy-edited, it is pointless trying to review such shoddy prose.
Despite some of the errors above having been corrected, there remain basic errors of grammar throughout the article. I suggest you get someone who can read and write good plain English to copy-edit thoroughly.
Jezhotwells (
talk)
17:35, 27 March 2011 (UTC)reply