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Rochor station was my 'local' station when I last visited Singapore, having been completed since my first visit only a year before, so I'm interested to read this article. I have the following comments:
Something has gone wrong with the currency template in the first paragraph of the 'Construction' section
"The Ministry of Manpower has praised the construction project, explaining that it has managed to accomplished zero accidents " - did the Ministry or the companies involved achieve zero accidents?
" Transport Minister Lui Tuck Yew announced that the DTL2 would be opened earlier,[7] with works completed by 95%" - this is unclear - earlier than what, and what does 95% mean here?
From having stayed in this area, an interesting feature is that there seem to be an (un)usual number of stations nearby. For instance, Rochor station is only about a 10 minute walk to the next two stations on the line. Is there a reason this part of Singapore is so well served?
I can't really comment much on this. There aren't official sources stating why, but it has mentioned that the station density in the central area is getting denser. I wonder if it is constructive to add that the station is close enough to Jalan Besar for DTL passengers to transfer over.
source--
ZKang123 (
talk)
02:55, 24 January 2021 (UTC)reply
Feng's book should be listed as a 'work consulted' or similarly, given that it's a major source for the article rather than 'further reading'
The article is all very positive about this station. Have there been any criticisms of it? Has patronage been what was expected?
Well, there arent really any official published sources on criticism of the station. I also would wish to give some balance, but there arent really any.--
ZKang123 (
talk)
02:55, 24 January 2021 (UTC)reply
Reference 2: Checks out, but the wording is much too closely paraphrased (and is close to being a copy and paste)
"The Rochor Canal, originally located in the middle of Rochor Canal Road and Sungei Road, had to be shifted as it ran through the construction site" - reference 4 also checks out, but the wording is uncomfortably close to what the source says.
"The site has a layer of soft marine clay 30 metres (98 ft) thick[5] with the "consistency of peanut butter"." - ditto
"the station was intended to be a model of how modern transport infrastructure can be practical and aesthetically pleasing with the ability to fuse into the background" - checks out, but also closely paraphrased.
Just to note, as all the spot checks are failed, I am expecting that you will review all the article's other text, and make other adjustments to avoid close paraphrasing given it's unlikely that the problems are restricted to some examples I picked at random.
Nick-D (
talk)
03:02, 24 January 2021 (UTC)reply
"The artwork is intended to contrast and probe into the dual reflections of Singapore's youths: living through a world of technology while having sentimentality for tradition and history" - very lightly paraphrased from the source
" The objects were then drawn in three ways: simple pencil drawing, mono-printing and modern digital drawing" - ditto
First up I looked at GA1 and the principle issue was with copyvio, so first up I ran Earwig and it looks good, so I think that issue has been satisfactorily addressed in general.
"construction of the station began in 2009. The construction of the station" repetitive.
Link for Rochor Canal?
Lead feels a little bit short, I would add a sentence or two more about the challenges of the construction, the ridership perhaps and the artwork.
"Bus, Taxi" -> Bus, taxi"
"Disabled access" yes in the infobox, not noted in the prose or referenced.
Depth of "26m" (should be spaced/converted) where is this referenced and mentioned in the prose?
I would expect to see ridership in the article as well as the infobox.
" $803.3 " which dollar?
"1.6 million" add a non-breaking space.
"as Church - Our Lady of L'des," en-dash.
"other DTL Stage 2 stations." you already abbreviated that to DTL2.
"the Downtown line (DTL) and" already abbreviated...
"of January 2021. the" comma, not .
What're "headways"?
"ceiling motif is inspired by the interior" sounds like a brochure.
"The spaciousness of the layout allows ease of movement" I would suggest you stick to encyclopedic tone, e.g. "designed to allow ease of movement"
"To draw the artwork, the students bought vintage objects.." not sure what that first clause is saying, the students bought vintage objects to draw, not the other way round.
Addressed the points above. Removed on 26m, cos I am not sure where did the number come from originally. Also, I thought as you go into the next section, you have to abbreviate again, so that's why for Downtown line (DTL). Should I actually just leave it as DTL"--
ZKang123 (
talk)
02:59, 14 March 2021 (UTC)reply
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Trains, an attempt to build a comprehensive and detailed guide to
rail transport on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, you can visit the
project page, where you can join the project and/or contribute to the
discussion. See also:
WikiProject Trains to do list and the
Trains Portal.TrainsWikipedia:WikiProject TrainsTemplate:WikiProject Trainsrail transport articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Singapore, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of articles related to
Singapore on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.SingaporeWikipedia:WikiProject SingaporeTemplate:WikiProject SingaporeSingapore articles
Rochor station was my 'local' station when I last visited Singapore, having been completed since my first visit only a year before, so I'm interested to read this article. I have the following comments:
Something has gone wrong with the currency template in the first paragraph of the 'Construction' section
"The Ministry of Manpower has praised the construction project, explaining that it has managed to accomplished zero accidents " - did the Ministry or the companies involved achieve zero accidents?
" Transport Minister Lui Tuck Yew announced that the DTL2 would be opened earlier,[7] with works completed by 95%" - this is unclear - earlier than what, and what does 95% mean here?
From having stayed in this area, an interesting feature is that there seem to be an (un)usual number of stations nearby. For instance, Rochor station is only about a 10 minute walk to the next two stations on the line. Is there a reason this part of Singapore is so well served?
I can't really comment much on this. There aren't official sources stating why, but it has mentioned that the station density in the central area is getting denser. I wonder if it is constructive to add that the station is close enough to Jalan Besar for DTL passengers to transfer over.
source--
ZKang123 (
talk)
02:55, 24 January 2021 (UTC)reply
Feng's book should be listed as a 'work consulted' or similarly, given that it's a major source for the article rather than 'further reading'
The article is all very positive about this station. Have there been any criticisms of it? Has patronage been what was expected?
Well, there arent really any official published sources on criticism of the station. I also would wish to give some balance, but there arent really any.--
ZKang123 (
talk)
02:55, 24 January 2021 (UTC)reply
Reference 2: Checks out, but the wording is much too closely paraphrased (and is close to being a copy and paste)
"The Rochor Canal, originally located in the middle of Rochor Canal Road and Sungei Road, had to be shifted as it ran through the construction site" - reference 4 also checks out, but the wording is uncomfortably close to what the source says.
"The site has a layer of soft marine clay 30 metres (98 ft) thick[5] with the "consistency of peanut butter"." - ditto
"the station was intended to be a model of how modern transport infrastructure can be practical and aesthetically pleasing with the ability to fuse into the background" - checks out, but also closely paraphrased.
Just to note, as all the spot checks are failed, I am expecting that you will review all the article's other text, and make other adjustments to avoid close paraphrasing given it's unlikely that the problems are restricted to some examples I picked at random.
Nick-D (
talk)
03:02, 24 January 2021 (UTC)reply
"The artwork is intended to contrast and probe into the dual reflections of Singapore's youths: living through a world of technology while having sentimentality for tradition and history" - very lightly paraphrased from the source
" The objects were then drawn in three ways: simple pencil drawing, mono-printing and modern digital drawing" - ditto
First up I looked at GA1 and the principle issue was with copyvio, so first up I ran Earwig and it looks good, so I think that issue has been satisfactorily addressed in general.
"construction of the station began in 2009. The construction of the station" repetitive.
Link for Rochor Canal?
Lead feels a little bit short, I would add a sentence or two more about the challenges of the construction, the ridership perhaps and the artwork.
"Bus, Taxi" -> Bus, taxi"
"Disabled access" yes in the infobox, not noted in the prose or referenced.
Depth of "26m" (should be spaced/converted) where is this referenced and mentioned in the prose?
I would expect to see ridership in the article as well as the infobox.
" $803.3 " which dollar?
"1.6 million" add a non-breaking space.
"as Church - Our Lady of L'des," en-dash.
"other DTL Stage 2 stations." you already abbreviated that to DTL2.
"the Downtown line (DTL) and" already abbreviated...
"of January 2021. the" comma, not .
What're "headways"?
"ceiling motif is inspired by the interior" sounds like a brochure.
"The spaciousness of the layout allows ease of movement" I would suggest you stick to encyclopedic tone, e.g. "designed to allow ease of movement"
"To draw the artwork, the students bought vintage objects.." not sure what that first clause is saying, the students bought vintage objects to draw, not the other way round.
Addressed the points above. Removed on 26m, cos I am not sure where did the number come from originally. Also, I thought as you go into the next section, you have to abbreviate again, so that's why for Downtown line (DTL). Should I actually just leave it as DTL"--
ZKang123 (
talk)
02:59, 14 March 2021 (UTC)reply