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Reviewer: Reaper Eternal ( talk) 22:26, 2 June 2011 (UTC)
Hello, over the next couple days, I will review the article to see if it meets the GA criteria. After I finish, I will return here with my review. In the meantime, I will perform minor, noncontroversial copyedits to the article. Thanks! Reaper Eternal ( talk) 22:26, 2 June 2011 (UTC)
- Whoops! My apologies if I caused any edit conflicts with my edit, as I had not noticed you were still editing the article. I'll come back in a few hours to continue the review. Reaper Eternal ( talk) 22:34, 2 June 2011 (UTC)
- Early life
"...on the outbreak of the English Civil War." The preposition used to introduce this prepositional phrase, "on", is slightly ambiguous. Would "just before the outbreak" or "during the outbreak" serve better?
- Siege of Wythenshawe Hall
I reworded the phrase "shot him dead", as that sounded rather childish. (At least you won't castigate me for being "uncivil".) Feel free to change it back if you want, however.
- Later life
I think that the "d" in the fine amount should be linked to Penny (British pre-decimal coin), as most Americans don't have a clue what it would refer to.
- References
- How did you get the citations to link to the bibliography? I want to do that for the cirrus cloud article I've been working on!
- Other
Perhaps including an external link to a road map of the area would be of some use. (For example, [1].)Geocoordinates should probably be added.
I now believe that this article passes the good article criteria. Thanks for your work improving Wikipedia! Reaper Eternal ( talk) 10:42, 6 June 2011 (UTC)
| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Reaper Eternal ( talk) 22:26, 2 June 2011 (UTC)
Hello, over the next couple days, I will review the article to see if it meets the GA criteria. After I finish, I will return here with my review. In the meantime, I will perform minor, noncontroversial copyedits to the article. Thanks! Reaper Eternal ( talk) 22:26, 2 June 2011 (UTC)
- Whoops! My apologies if I caused any edit conflicts with my edit, as I had not noticed you were still editing the article. I'll come back in a few hours to continue the review. Reaper Eternal ( talk) 22:34, 2 June 2011 (UTC)
- Early life
"...on the outbreak of the English Civil War." The preposition used to introduce this prepositional phrase, "on", is slightly ambiguous. Would "just before the outbreak" or "during the outbreak" serve better?
- Siege of Wythenshawe Hall
I reworded the phrase "shot him dead", as that sounded rather childish. (At least you won't castigate me for being "uncivil".) Feel free to change it back if you want, however.
- Later life
I think that the "d" in the fine amount should be linked to Penny (British pre-decimal coin), as most Americans don't have a clue what it would refer to.
- References
- How did you get the citations to link to the bibliography? I want to do that for the cirrus cloud article I've been working on!
- Other
Perhaps including an external link to a road map of the area would be of some use. (For example, [1].)Geocoordinates should probably be added.
I now believe that this article passes the good article criteria. Thanks for your work improving Wikipedia! Reaper Eternal ( talk) 10:42, 6 June 2011 (UTC)