The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
"prompting response from emergency managements" → "emergency managements" strikes me as a little strangely-worded, perhaps "emergency management agencies"?
what is the relevance of the state police responding to a fire?
The state police is typically a more notable agency than local agencies, although they're all notable. I just went ahead and included the state police responding to it because of that. ~
TailsWx21:15, 3 July 2024 (UTC)reply
"in Preble County, Ohio after" → need comma after "Ohio" per
MOS:GEOCOMMA
"In the aftermath of the fire, the United States Environmental Protection Agency and Indiana Department of Environmental Management evaluated hazards from the facility fire" → "fire" repeated again, this time I think it makes more sense to nix the first mention
"by Richmond, Indiana mayor" → I don't think you need to specify Indiana since it's been mentioned previously; if you decide to keep it, it needs a comma after it
The units were updated from tonnes to lbs but the numbers were not converted, so the figures there are not correct (used to say 6,000 tonnes but now says 6,000 pounds, which are very different)
More minor wording issue, but "Aftermath" talks about the EPA collecting samples one month after the fire but later says that the EPA began to collect samples seven months after the fire, so maybe "began" could be replaced with another word?
@
PCN02WPS: I fixed two of the three concerns outlined above; though the second point doesn’t make sense to me. The EPA did take samples one month after the fire, but didn’t collect any during the cleanup process seven months after. It does say the hazardous waste was transferred to a EPA-mandated landfill but didn’t sample during that process. ~
TailsWx04:22, 4 July 2024 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
"prompting response from emergency managements" → "emergency managements" strikes me as a little strangely-worded, perhaps "emergency management agencies"?
what is the relevance of the state police responding to a fire?
The state police is typically a more notable agency than local agencies, although they're all notable. I just went ahead and included the state police responding to it because of that. ~
TailsWx21:15, 3 July 2024 (UTC)reply
"in Preble County, Ohio after" → need comma after "Ohio" per
MOS:GEOCOMMA
"In the aftermath of the fire, the United States Environmental Protection Agency and Indiana Department of Environmental Management evaluated hazards from the facility fire" → "fire" repeated again, this time I think it makes more sense to nix the first mention
"by Richmond, Indiana mayor" → I don't think you need to specify Indiana since it's been mentioned previously; if you decide to keep it, it needs a comma after it
The units were updated from tonnes to lbs but the numbers were not converted, so the figures there are not correct (used to say 6,000 tonnes but now says 6,000 pounds, which are very different)
More minor wording issue, but "Aftermath" talks about the EPA collecting samples one month after the fire but later says that the EPA began to collect samples seven months after the fire, so maybe "began" could be replaced with another word?
@
PCN02WPS: I fixed two of the three concerns outlined above; though the second point doesn’t make sense to me. The EPA did take samples one month after the fire, but didn’t collect any during the cleanup process seven months after. It does say the hazardous waste was transferred to a EPA-mandated landfill but didn’t sample during that process. ~
TailsWx04:22, 4 July 2024 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.