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Reviewer: Tintor2 ( talk · contribs) 14:13, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
Hi there. I'll be reviewing this article. Considering its length I'm pretty sure it will be fast.
Tintor2 (
talk)
14:13, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- Lead
- Everything seems well written. However, the second paragraph seems small in comparison to how big is production and cultural themes. It might be good to expand such paragraph with a brief intro.
- Plot
- Shinji Ikari is not introduced or wikilinked.
- "Rei doesn't flinch and ignores her colleague when he tries to strike up a conversation with her." It seems the more appropiate form for the encyclopedia is using "does not" instead of "doesn't" similar for writing formal letters.
- "The girl is subjected to a new test with Eva-00, which is interrupted by an attack by a new enemy, the fifth Angel Ramiel." It might be good to specify it is Rei although I think she is the only female character in this episode besides Misato and Ritsuko.
- Production
- "Once the first part of Shinji's emotional journey was over in the fourth episode" Emotional journey seems unfitting. I would suggest something like "Shinji's emotions were followed through the first four episode".
- "di lei"? I'm kinda confused there. You mean that Italian word?
- Wikilink Misato and Ritsuko
- Cultural references, style and themes
- "and jumping like a girl in love" From what I get phrasal verbs should not be used.
- The third paragraph is quite big. I'd suggest splitting it.
- Reception
- PenPen's mention is kinda out of place in the middle of commentary about Rei and her relationships. Move it to another paragraph or sentence.
@ TeenAngels1234: Other than that everything else is okay. I added the dates template at the top to make the references consistent when mentioning dates. Revise this and I'll pass the review. Good work. Tintor2 ( talk) 16:49, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- @ Tintor2: Thank you. Tried my best.-- TeenAngels1234 ( talk) 21:01, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
Good work. You did every change. I'm passing the review. Keep up the good work. Tintor2 ( talk) 22:32, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
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| Reviewing |
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Reviewer: Tintor2 ( talk · contribs) 14:13, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
Hi there. I'll be reviewing this article. Considering its length I'm pretty sure it will be fast.
Tintor2 (
talk)
14:13, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- Lead
- Everything seems well written. However, the second paragraph seems small in comparison to how big is production and cultural themes. It might be good to expand such paragraph with a brief intro.
- Plot
- Shinji Ikari is not introduced or wikilinked.
- "Rei doesn't flinch and ignores her colleague when he tries to strike up a conversation with her." It seems the more appropiate form for the encyclopedia is using "does not" instead of "doesn't" similar for writing formal letters.
- "The girl is subjected to a new test with Eva-00, which is interrupted by an attack by a new enemy, the fifth Angel Ramiel." It might be good to specify it is Rei although I think she is the only female character in this episode besides Misato and Ritsuko.
- Production
- "Once the first part of Shinji's emotional journey was over in the fourth episode" Emotional journey seems unfitting. I would suggest something like "Shinji's emotions were followed through the first four episode".
- "di lei"? I'm kinda confused there. You mean that Italian word?
- Wikilink Misato and Ritsuko
- Cultural references, style and themes
- "and jumping like a girl in love" From what I get phrasal verbs should not be used.
- The third paragraph is quite big. I'd suggest splitting it.
- Reception
- PenPen's mention is kinda out of place in the middle of commentary about Rei and her relationships. Move it to another paragraph or sentence.
@ TeenAngels1234: Other than that everything else is okay. I added the dates template at the top to make the references consistent when mentioning dates. Revise this and I'll pass the review. Good work. Tintor2 ( talk) 16:49, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- @ Tintor2: Thank you. Tried my best.-- TeenAngels1234 ( talk) 21:01, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
Good work. You did every change. I'm passing the review. Keep up the good work. Tintor2 ( talk) 22:32, 3 July 2021 (UTC)