Then the text later talks about "An interest in acting sparked when she was child". Please try to be chronological.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:FOUR) 05:05, 25 June 2011 (UTC)reply
done
students's council is ungrammatical and should probably be linked. One s in "s's" needs to go.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:FOUR) 05:09, 25 June 2011 (UTC)reply
scoring is an unencyclopedic verb choice in this use. Same with "take down"
fixed
Mention what country and network Slings and Arrows is for since we just talked about her transitioning to her first US film
done
Should probably mention Mean Girls is an American film subsequently to keep the reader on board.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:FOUR) 12:20, 28 June 2011 (UTC)reply
Done
Ungrammatical: Originally, a then 26 year-old McAdams
done
Almost no facts require more than three sources for verification ([20][21][22][23]). Either work in more detail from the sources to make their relevance clear or trim this down.
fixed
In paragraph 2, you start talking about The Notebook without naming it. It may even deserve its own paragraph, but I can't tell when you stop talking about Mean Girls.
"remaining her top domestic grossing film at over $209.5 million" needs to be rephrased. It sounds like it was her top hit before she was in it and remained so afterwards.
Ungrammatical: McAdams found this role to be a departure from previous parts[50] enjoyed doing her own stunts as it is the closest thing she has to playing sports.
I don't know much about this subject, but I thought there were all kinds of classes of Green Cards. Do you have any more information.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:FOUR) 12:37, 28 June 2011 (UTC)reply
I think it's better if I just remove it.
Crystal Clear x3 21:00, 28 June 2011 (UTC)reply
We should
WP:PRESERVE the content, but I was just asking. I am probably making a big deal out of the different categories. There is really one kind of card and recipients might be in any of a number of categories. It would be interesting to know which specific category she is in, but it is not necessary. Keep it even if we have no further detail.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:FOUR) 06:39, 29 June 2011 (UTC)reply
Done. Have I also correctly addressed the other two issues above (her top domestic film and doing her own stunts in Sherlock)?
Crystal Clear x3 11:53, 29 June 2011 (UTC)reply
The phrase "cable connection" sounds foreign to me.
fixed
I'd consider linking environmental awareness, vegetarian and Kensington Market (if it has one).
Then the text later talks about "An interest in acting sparked when she was child". Please try to be chronological.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:CHICAGO/
WP:FOUR) 05:05, 25 June 2011 (UTC)reply
done
students's council is ungrammatical and should probably be linked. One s in "s's" needs to go.--
TonyTheTiger (
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BIO/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:FOUR) 05:09, 25 June 2011 (UTC)reply
scoring is an unencyclopedic verb choice in this use. Same with "take down"
fixed
Mention what country and network Slings and Arrows is for since we just talked about her transitioning to her first US film
done
Should probably mention Mean Girls is an American film subsequently to keep the reader on board.--
TonyTheTiger (
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BIO/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:FOUR) 12:20, 28 June 2011 (UTC)reply
Done
Ungrammatical: Originally, a then 26 year-old McAdams
done
Almost no facts require more than three sources for verification ([20][21][22][23]). Either work in more detail from the sources to make their relevance clear or trim this down.
fixed
In paragraph 2, you start talking about The Notebook without naming it. It may even deserve its own paragraph, but I can't tell when you stop talking about Mean Girls.
"remaining her top domestic grossing film at over $209.5 million" needs to be rephrased. It sounds like it was her top hit before she was in it and remained so afterwards.
Ungrammatical: McAdams found this role to be a departure from previous parts[50] enjoyed doing her own stunts as it is the closest thing she has to playing sports.
I don't know much about this subject, but I thought there were all kinds of classes of Green Cards. Do you have any more information.--
TonyTheTiger (
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BIO/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:FOUR) 12:37, 28 June 2011 (UTC)reply
I think it's better if I just remove it.
Crystal Clear x3 21:00, 28 June 2011 (UTC)reply
We should
WP:PRESERVE the content, but I was just asking. I am probably making a big deal out of the different categories. There is really one kind of card and recipients might be in any of a number of categories. It would be interesting to know which specific category she is in, but it is not necessary. Keep it even if we have no further detail.--
TonyTheTiger (
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C/
BIO/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:FOUR) 06:39, 29 June 2011 (UTC)reply
Done. Have I also correctly addressed the other two issues above (her top domestic film and doing her own stunts in Sherlock)?
Crystal Clear x3 11:53, 29 June 2011 (UTC)reply
The phrase "cable connection" sounds foreign to me.
fixed
I'd consider linking environmental awareness, vegetarian and Kensington Market (if it has one).