The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Vacant0 ( talk · contribs) 09:45, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
Hi, I'll be reviewing this GAN as part of the
ongoing GAN backlog drive.
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
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Overall: |
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Panic of 1837 - might add a word to note that it was financial, as there are other types of mass panics - food shortages, health pandemic, etc.
"allowed her to open an account in every store in Williamsburg". How many stores could that be? Even now, the entire population is only 15,425.
"which Priscilla Tyler hoped would bring independence for her and her husband" - how so?
"she expressed shock at her fortune in presiding - Mrs. Tyler was too ill" Maybe "fortune" sounds a little heartless about Mrs. Tyler.
"brought about 3,000 people to the White House while Tyler was seven months pregnant." How about moving the pregnancy earlier in the sentence, "In March 1842, Tyler was seven months pregnant and responsible for .."
"Letitia Tyler-Semple saw to White House social affairs until the wedding" First place this name shows up. How about "President Tyler's daughter Letitia Tyler-Semple saw to White House social affairs ... "
@ Thebiguglyalien: The article will be on hold for a week so that you can fix the issues that I've pointed out in the review. Cheers, -- Vacant0 ( talk) 12:07, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Vacant0 ( talk · contribs) 09:45, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
Hi, I'll be reviewing this GAN as part of the
ongoing GAN backlog drive.
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
---|
|
Overall: |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Panic of 1837 - might add a word to note that it was financial, as there are other types of mass panics - food shortages, health pandemic, etc.
"allowed her to open an account in every store in Williamsburg". How many stores could that be? Even now, the entire population is only 15,425.
"which Priscilla Tyler hoped would bring independence for her and her husband" - how so?
"she expressed shock at her fortune in presiding - Mrs. Tyler was too ill" Maybe "fortune" sounds a little heartless about Mrs. Tyler.
"brought about 3,000 people to the White House while Tyler was seven months pregnant." How about moving the pregnancy earlier in the sentence, "In March 1842, Tyler was seven months pregnant and responsible for .."
"Letitia Tyler-Semple saw to White House social affairs until the wedding" First place this name shows up. How about "President Tyler's daughter Letitia Tyler-Semple saw to White House social affairs ... "
@ Thebiguglyalien: The article will be on hold for a week so that you can fix the issues that I've pointed out in the review. Cheers, -- Vacant0 ( talk) 12:07, 8 August 2023 (UTC)