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Reviewer: Catrìona ( talk · contribs) 12:37, 13 August 2018 (UTC)
Please comment individually under each of my comments and mark with Done,
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Catrìona (
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12:37, 13 August 2018 (UTC)
The Jallianwala Bagh massacre was a major turning point for the Indian freedom struggle when a British General, Reginald Dyer, marched into Jallianwala Bagh and ordered his troops to fire on peaceful protesters, killing 379 and injuring 1,200.There is probably a more neutral way to phrase this. "Independence movement" is probably better than "freedom struggle," for instance. Also, "general" should not be capitalized here.
the farmers decided to mark and celebrate the occasion by hoisting the national flag—this is unnecessary in context, "the farmers hoisted the national flag" is sufficient
the people of Hyderabad State—was it really all people in Hyderabad or just some people? Were there social groups that opposed union with India?
abused women—can you be more specific here?
Ok @ Gbohoadgwwian: we're almost done here. If you can confirm that you're OK with my last prose edit and fix the citations, either by removing the least reliable one in both cases or bundling them, then I'll pass the article. Catrìona ( talk) 19:48, 22 August 2018 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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Reviewer: Catrìona ( talk · contribs) 12:37, 13 August 2018 (UTC)
Please comment individually under each of my comments and mark with Done,
Fixed,
Added, Not done,
Doing..., or
Removed, followed by any comment you'd like to make.
Catrìona (
talk)
12:37, 13 August 2018 (UTC)
The Jallianwala Bagh massacre was a major turning point for the Indian freedom struggle when a British General, Reginald Dyer, marched into Jallianwala Bagh and ordered his troops to fire on peaceful protesters, killing 379 and injuring 1,200.There is probably a more neutral way to phrase this. "Independence movement" is probably better than "freedom struggle," for instance. Also, "general" should not be capitalized here.
the farmers decided to mark and celebrate the occasion by hoisting the national flag—this is unnecessary in context, "the farmers hoisted the national flag" is sufficient
the people of Hyderabad State—was it really all people in Hyderabad or just some people? Were there social groups that opposed union with India?
abused women—can you be more specific here?
Ok @ Gbohoadgwwian: we're almost done here. If you can confirm that you're OK with my last prose edit and fix the citations, either by removing the least reliable one in both cases or bundling them, then I'll pass the article. Catrìona ( talk) 19:48, 22 August 2018 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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