The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: TompaDompa ( talk · contribs) 04:57, 4 January 2023 (UTC)
I will review this. TompaDompa ( talk) 04:57, 4 January 2023 (UTC)
but was forced to become a rebel against the system– hardly WP:NPOV.
shoestring budget– should be sourced.
The film was released domestically on 2 March 2012– avoid using the word "domestic". The meaning of the word is context-dependent.
emerged as an average at the box-office– copyediting needed. "An average" is an odd phrasing. How does one emerge as such? Box office should not have a hyphen when used as a noun.
a domestic net of ₹201.80 million– according to the cited source, that's not the domestic net but the worldwide gross.
The film won the Best Feature Film and Best Actor– either remove the definite article or add "awards" after this.
dacoit– replace, gloss, or at minimum link.
Answering questions about himself, the story goes in a flashback from the year 1950.– copyediting needed for grammar.
He forms a gang of people some of whom are his relatives and are in conflict with Bhanwar Singh.– anacoluthon.
As an act of revenge for his brother's death– unless there's something I'm missing, this is the first mention of the brother's death.
had become police informers and had informed the police– seems rather redundant, no?
Dhulia researched the film's background– the film's background?
But that would need a lot of money. This caused Dhulia to work on it for 10 years.– conspicuous use of short declarative sentences. Not an appropriate writing style in this context.
Since the film [...] classical influences.– unsourced.
The music of this epic film stands out for its authenticity, originality, and the perfect blend of central Indian folk with western classical influences.– hardly WP:NPOV.
Paan Singh Tomar achieved universal critical acclaim among the critics.– this is a very strong assertion that is not backed up by the cited source.
grossed ₹65.0 million (US$810,000) nett– "gross" and "nett" are contradictory terms.
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
@ Twinkle1990: I'm closing this as unsuccessful. The list of issues above is not exhaustive, but a sample of issues I noted while reading through the article. I don't think this can be brought up to WP:Good article standards within a reasonable time frame. I gather that you are fairly new to this, and I don't want to discourage you from contributing to Wikipedia. To that end, I'll suggest WP:Peer review as a a more appropriate venue to bring this article to at this stage to get feedback and suggestions for improving the article. You may also wish to consult the WP:Guild of Copy Editors. For specific guidance about writing film articles, I would suggest reading MOS:FILM and you could of course always ask for help at WT:FILM. I will add some maintenance templates to the article. TompaDompa ( talk) 03:31, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
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Reviewer: TompaDompa ( talk · contribs) 04:57, 4 January 2023 (UTC)
I will review this. TompaDompa ( talk) 04:57, 4 January 2023 (UTC)
but was forced to become a rebel against the system– hardly WP:NPOV.
shoestring budget– should be sourced.
The film was released domestically on 2 March 2012– avoid using the word "domestic". The meaning of the word is context-dependent.
emerged as an average at the box-office– copyediting needed. "An average" is an odd phrasing. How does one emerge as such? Box office should not have a hyphen when used as a noun.
a domestic net of ₹201.80 million– according to the cited source, that's not the domestic net but the worldwide gross.
The film won the Best Feature Film and Best Actor– either remove the definite article or add "awards" after this.
dacoit– replace, gloss, or at minimum link.
Answering questions about himself, the story goes in a flashback from the year 1950.– copyediting needed for grammar.
He forms a gang of people some of whom are his relatives and are in conflict with Bhanwar Singh.– anacoluthon.
As an act of revenge for his brother's death– unless there's something I'm missing, this is the first mention of the brother's death.
had become police informers and had informed the police– seems rather redundant, no?
Dhulia researched the film's background– the film's background?
But that would need a lot of money. This caused Dhulia to work on it for 10 years.– conspicuous use of short declarative sentences. Not an appropriate writing style in this context.
Since the film [...] classical influences.– unsourced.
The music of this epic film stands out for its authenticity, originality, and the perfect blend of central Indian folk with western classical influences.– hardly WP:NPOV.
Paan Singh Tomar achieved universal critical acclaim among the critics.– this is a very strong assertion that is not backed up by the cited source.
grossed ₹65.0 million (US$810,000) nett– "gross" and "nett" are contradictory terms.
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
@ Twinkle1990: I'm closing this as unsuccessful. The list of issues above is not exhaustive, but a sample of issues I noted while reading through the article. I don't think this can be brought up to WP:Good article standards within a reasonable time frame. I gather that you are fairly new to this, and I don't want to discourage you from contributing to Wikipedia. To that end, I'll suggest WP:Peer review as a a more appropriate venue to bring this article to at this stage to get feedback and suggestions for improving the article. You may also wish to consult the WP:Guild of Copy Editors. For specific guidance about writing film articles, I would suggest reading MOS:FILM and you could of course always ask for help at WT:FILM. I will add some maintenance templates to the article. TompaDompa ( talk) 03:31, 5 January 2023 (UTC)