@
Kyle Peake: So, I am done for today. I am going to try to adapt your suggestions to "Music and lyrics" section tomorrow and try to archive every source. And also I am waiting for the anwsers for my questions/notes I made bellow. It is the first time when I applied an article I expanded to GAN and the first time I am making a discussion on GA review page, I hope I am doing everything correctly. infsai (
dyskusja)
23:52, 3 September 2021 (UTC)reply
"concluded to the album, with Eilish writing it to" → "created for the album, being intended by Eilish to"
"mostly favorable reviews upon its release, with some music reviewers comparing" → "mostly favorable reviews from
music critics, some of whom compared" with the pipe
"reaching the top 40" → "including reaching the top 40"
"and also appearing on" → "It also appeared on" as a new sentence
"the United States of America, Slovakia," → "the United States, Slovakia," per Wiki on writing out US
"The color of whatever" → "The colour of whatever" on the quotebox, per the source
@
Kyle Peake: I know the source pronounced it this way, however I changed it since Billie Eilish is American, so I guees we should use American forms here.
@
Kyle Peake: From what I know the term "Composition" describes every part that make a song (or anything artistic), so I guess adding "and lyrics" would be quite redundant. infsai (
dyskusja)
19:14, 3 September 2021 (UTC)reply
The reception is too extensive; get rid of all of the last para apart from the two negative reviews to show not all were positive, plus move these to the end of the third para
All done in the next edit I guess, besides the last one - I'm not sure of what do you mean here. I mean, yeah, this section is long, but the idea I had while constructing the last para was to show that the song was called as a highlight by some, but also that it gatherned some critizism, since I wanted to stay neutral by showing off that not every music critic was okay with the song. Also I'm not sure of the way I parafrized quotes you highlighted, I don't know if I did it correctily/good. infsai (
dyskusja)
23:44, 3 September 2021 (UTC)reply
I understand how reception can be expanded to lack bias, but you can merge the negative reviews with the above para like I said since the rest of the last one does not provide too much notable reception. --
K. Peake19:54, 4 September 2021 (UTC)reply
"three days ahead film's" → "three days ahead of the film's"
"It starts off with an" → "The performance starts off with an"
"gig took place on" → "gig took place at the"
"where the singer is surrounded by red lights, and she's accompanyied" → "During the performance, the singer was surrounded by red lights and accompanied"
Remove brother intro to Finneas and wikilink
"on keyboards and drummer." → "on keyboards and drums."
"After screaming chorus line, the singer is" → "After screaming the chorus line, Eilish is"
Uproxx should not be italicised
Remove pipe on Billboard
Remove pipe on Spin
"at number 72 in" → "at number 72 on the US"
"and it hit" → "and it hit the"
"at the position 38" → "at the position of number 38"
Mention more chart positions in prose; try top 40 or top 50
All done in the next edit, besides the noted one + might add info about the UK peak, since I reckon I'd be able to find a source for it that would not lead to the chart itself. infsai (
dyskusja)
22:51, 3 September 2021 (UTC)reply
Album's booklet states that all of the songs were written by Billie and Finneas, all of them were produced by Finneas etc. infsai (
dyskusja)
20:36, 4 September 2021 (UTC)reply
Infsai Everything written in the lead needs to be written in the body too, so at least mention that it charted in those countries even if you don't state the positions. Also, there is not supposed to be any refs in the lead and you should mention the performance. --
K. Peake13:58, 5 September 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: Sorry that I'm responding now, but I did not have time previously. Regarding that ref in the lead, I know that usually there is no refs in the lead, however there is no section in the article where I can put the information that this song is a fan favorite. infsai (
dyskusja)
20:55, 6 September 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: So, I am done for today. I am going to try to adapt your suggestions to "Music and lyrics" section tomorrow and try to archive every source. And also I am waiting for the anwsers for my questions/notes I made bellow. It is the first time when I applied an article I expanded to GAN and the first time I am making a discussion on GA review page, I hope I am doing everything correctly. infsai (
dyskusja)
23:52, 3 September 2021 (UTC)reply
"concluded to the album, with Eilish writing it to" → "created for the album, being intended by Eilish to"
"mostly favorable reviews upon its release, with some music reviewers comparing" → "mostly favorable reviews from
music critics, some of whom compared" with the pipe
"reaching the top 40" → "including reaching the top 40"
"and also appearing on" → "It also appeared on" as a new sentence
"the United States of America, Slovakia," → "the United States, Slovakia," per Wiki on writing out US
"The color of whatever" → "The colour of whatever" on the quotebox, per the source
@
Kyle Peake: I know the source pronounced it this way, however I changed it since Billie Eilish is American, so I guees we should use American forms here.
@
Kyle Peake: From what I know the term "Composition" describes every part that make a song (or anything artistic), so I guess adding "and lyrics" would be quite redundant. infsai (
dyskusja)
19:14, 3 September 2021 (UTC)reply
The reception is too extensive; get rid of all of the last para apart from the two negative reviews to show not all were positive, plus move these to the end of the third para
All done in the next edit I guess, besides the last one - I'm not sure of what do you mean here. I mean, yeah, this section is long, but the idea I had while constructing the last para was to show that the song was called as a highlight by some, but also that it gatherned some critizism, since I wanted to stay neutral by showing off that not every music critic was okay with the song. Also I'm not sure of the way I parafrized quotes you highlighted, I don't know if I did it correctily/good. infsai (
dyskusja)
23:44, 3 September 2021 (UTC)reply
I understand how reception can be expanded to lack bias, but you can merge the negative reviews with the above para like I said since the rest of the last one does not provide too much notable reception. --
K. Peake19:54, 4 September 2021 (UTC)reply
"three days ahead film's" → "three days ahead of the film's"
"It starts off with an" → "The performance starts off with an"
"gig took place on" → "gig took place at the"
"where the singer is surrounded by red lights, and she's accompanyied" → "During the performance, the singer was surrounded by red lights and accompanied"
Remove brother intro to Finneas and wikilink
"on keyboards and drummer." → "on keyboards and drums."
"After screaming chorus line, the singer is" → "After screaming the chorus line, Eilish is"
Uproxx should not be italicised
Remove pipe on Billboard
Remove pipe on Spin
"at number 72 in" → "at number 72 on the US"
"and it hit" → "and it hit the"
"at the position 38" → "at the position of number 38"
Mention more chart positions in prose; try top 40 or top 50
All done in the next edit, besides the noted one + might add info about the UK peak, since I reckon I'd be able to find a source for it that would not lead to the chart itself. infsai (
dyskusja)
22:51, 3 September 2021 (UTC)reply
Album's booklet states that all of the songs were written by Billie and Finneas, all of them were produced by Finneas etc. infsai (
dyskusja)
20:36, 4 September 2021 (UTC)reply
Infsai Everything written in the lead needs to be written in the body too, so at least mention that it charted in those countries even if you don't state the positions. Also, there is not supposed to be any refs in the lead and you should mention the performance. --
K. Peake13:58, 5 September 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: Sorry that I'm responding now, but I did not have time previously. Regarding that ref in the lead, I know that usually there is no refs in the lead, however there is no section in the article where I can put the information that this song is a fan favorite. infsai (
dyskusja)
20:55, 6 September 2021 (UTC)reply