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This is, on the whole, a clearly-written, comprehensive and well-organized article. There are some copy issues but I will take care of them myself.
First, in the intro it says: "While the current Olympic Games place an emphasis on athletic prowess; it is in the Olympic ceremonies where one sees a glimpse of Coubertin's original vision for the Games." I have tagged this as possibly an improper synthesis. It does seem to be true, but I'd rather we attribute this to someone else, or at least rephrase ("while" isn't discussed at words to avoid, but it should be IMO) and/or reposition this.
Other than that, there are a few places I'd like to see cites, which I will discuss a little later as I'm suddenly out of time here. Daniel Case ( talk) 16:57, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
OK, they're:
""There is no set protocol for concluding the opening ceremonies. In recent Olympics the opening ceremonies have ended well after dark and usually finished with a crescendo of fireworks accompanied by music"
and
"This tradition posed a particular challenge at the 2006 Winter Games in
Turin, Italy. The flag was passed from
Sergio Chiamparino, the mayor of Turin, to
Sam Sullivan, the mayor of
Vancouver,
British Columbia,
Canada. Mayor Sullivan, who is a
quadriplegic, waved the flag by holding it in one hand and swinging his motorized wheelchair back and forth eight times."
That's all I need from the editors. Thanks. Daniel Case ( talk) 17:00, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
Thanks for your review please let me know if there is anything else I can fix. H1nkles ( talk) 17:25, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
Article (
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visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
This is, on the whole, a clearly-written, comprehensive and well-organized article. There are some copy issues but I will take care of them myself.
First, in the intro it says: "While the current Olympic Games place an emphasis on athletic prowess; it is in the Olympic ceremonies where one sees a glimpse of Coubertin's original vision for the Games." I have tagged this as possibly an improper synthesis. It does seem to be true, but I'd rather we attribute this to someone else, or at least rephrase ("while" isn't discussed at words to avoid, but it should be IMO) and/or reposition this.
Other than that, there are a few places I'd like to see cites, which I will discuss a little later as I'm suddenly out of time here. Daniel Case ( talk) 16:57, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
OK, they're:
""There is no set protocol for concluding the opening ceremonies. In recent Olympics the opening ceremonies have ended well after dark and usually finished with a crescendo of fireworks accompanied by music"
and
"This tradition posed a particular challenge at the 2006 Winter Games in
Turin, Italy. The flag was passed from
Sergio Chiamparino, the mayor of Turin, to
Sam Sullivan, the mayor of
Vancouver,
British Columbia,
Canada. Mayor Sullivan, who is a
quadriplegic, waved the flag by holding it in one hand and swinging his motorized wheelchair back and forth eight times."
That's all I need from the editors. Thanks. Daniel Case ( talk) 17:00, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
Thanks for your review please let me know if there is anything else I can fix. H1nkles ( talk) 17:25, 15 February 2009 (UTC)