"In Nyuserre's case however, this official, that is state-sponsored cult, existed for very long" - reads a tad awkward, how about In Nyuserre's case however, this official—albiet state-sponsored cult—existed for very long. I'm not so sure about this, so feel free to change or ignore
I wrote "In Nyuserre's case however, this official state-sponsored cult, existed for very long". I felt like "albeit" would give a sense of opposite between official and state-sponsored, when these are actually synonymous in this context.
Iry-Hor (
talk)
17:32, 4 January 2017 (UTC)reply
"seems to have continued until the New Kingdom period" - link
New Kingdom of Egypt
"scholars such as Nigel Strudwick traditionally credited Nyuserre with 11 years of reign" - 11 years (I usually write out smaller numbers in prose, but I don't know if '11' or '12' is the limit)
I propose to keep 11 and 12 as numbers, notably because the article invariably refers to the "12th Dynasty", which is easier to read than "Twelfth Dynasty" I think.
Iry-Hor (
talk)
17:32, 4 January 2017 (UTC)reply
"showing him participating in a Sed festival" - is 'Sed' meant to be italicised? I noticed that it is italicised in the header ("Nyuserre's Sed festival"). The
Sed festival article doesn't use italics
I use the convention that Ancient Egyptian words are italicised in my articles, following a past FA review (I think it was for
Unas). The word Sed is Ancient Egyptian, being the original name of the festival, hence I italicised it.
Iry-Hor (
talk)
17:32, 4 January 2017 (UTC)reply
" Mere depictions of the festival do not necessarily imply a long reign however, [note 9]" - extra space before the note
"and that "the sed-festival scenes from Abu Gurab [most probably reflect] the 30th jubilee of the king's accession to the throne"[17]" - missing full stop
"manifested by the dedication of statues and the compilation of lists of kings to be honoured" - this too, needs a citation. And also honored, to stay consistent with American English
This is a truly excellent article! It is well written, comprehensive, and all of the sources check out. These are minor prose nitpicks, so I'll be happy to promote this once all are clarified. It was also enjoyable to read. JAGUAR16:11, 4 January 2017 (UTC)reply
"In Nyuserre's case however, this official, that is state-sponsored cult, existed for very long" - reads a tad awkward, how about In Nyuserre's case however, this official—albiet state-sponsored cult—existed for very long. I'm not so sure about this, so feel free to change or ignore
I wrote "In Nyuserre's case however, this official state-sponsored cult, existed for very long". I felt like "albeit" would give a sense of opposite between official and state-sponsored, when these are actually synonymous in this context.
Iry-Hor (
talk)
17:32, 4 January 2017 (UTC)reply
"seems to have continued until the New Kingdom period" - link
New Kingdom of Egypt
"scholars such as Nigel Strudwick traditionally credited Nyuserre with 11 years of reign" - 11 years (I usually write out smaller numbers in prose, but I don't know if '11' or '12' is the limit)
I propose to keep 11 and 12 as numbers, notably because the article invariably refers to the "12th Dynasty", which is easier to read than "Twelfth Dynasty" I think.
Iry-Hor (
talk)
17:32, 4 January 2017 (UTC)reply
"showing him participating in a Sed festival" - is 'Sed' meant to be italicised? I noticed that it is italicised in the header ("Nyuserre's Sed festival"). The
Sed festival article doesn't use italics
I use the convention that Ancient Egyptian words are italicised in my articles, following a past FA review (I think it was for
Unas). The word Sed is Ancient Egyptian, being the original name of the festival, hence I italicised it.
Iry-Hor (
talk)
17:32, 4 January 2017 (UTC)reply
" Mere depictions of the festival do not necessarily imply a long reign however, [note 9]" - extra space before the note
"and that "the sed-festival scenes from Abu Gurab [most probably reflect] the 30th jubilee of the king's accession to the throne"[17]" - missing full stop
"manifested by the dedication of statues and the compilation of lists of kings to be honoured" - this too, needs a citation. And also honored, to stay consistent with American English
This is a truly excellent article! It is well written, comprehensive, and all of the sources check out. These are minor prose nitpicks, so I'll be happy to promote this once all are clarified. It was also enjoyable to read. JAGUAR16:11, 4 January 2017 (UTC)reply