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Reviewer: AJona1992 ( talk) 22:06, 8 July 2011 (UTC)
"co-written and co-produced by the former and Walter Afanasieff" - why is "former" there?
"During this period, Carey older label" - missing a letter "Carey's"
"having written the former with Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis" - again, not sure why "former" is stated here?
Delink "Walter Afanasieff". Don't really need to link his name two times, we got the idea above this section.
"In an interview with Fred Bronson, Carey described the her original feelings" - Do you want to remove "the" from this sentence?
"to be aired on December 21." - does this mean the special will be airing this year? If not then maybe stating "which aired on December 21 of that same year."
I'm going to put the article
On hold for further development for seven days. Good luck,
AJona1992 (
talk)
22:27, 8 July 2011 (UTC)
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Reviewer: AJona1992 ( talk) 22:06, 8 July 2011 (UTC)
"co-written and co-produced by the former and Walter Afanasieff" - why is "former" there?
"During this period, Carey older label" - missing a letter "Carey's"
"having written the former with Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis" - again, not sure why "former" is stated here?
Delink "Walter Afanasieff". Don't really need to link his name two times, we got the idea above this section.
"In an interview with Fred Bronson, Carey described the her original feelings" - Do you want to remove "the" from this sentence?
"to be aired on December 21." - does this mean the special will be airing this year? If not then maybe stating "which aired on December 21 of that same year."
I'm going to put the article
On hold for further development for seven days. Good luck,
AJona1992 (
talk)
22:27, 8 July 2011 (UTC)