| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 17:50, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- Lead
- The caption for the image in the lead says "Nailsea and Backwell viewed from Cadbury Camp", yet Backwell isn't mentioned in the lead. What has Backwell to do with Nailsea?
- I've added a sentence to the lead explaining it is the nearest village.— Rod talk 07:52, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- History
- It seems very out of place to begin this section by talking about Nailsea Court in a very short introductory paragraph.
- A little bit has been added on the Roman era, however having gone back to books on Somerset & Avon there is very little recorded before coal & glass making.— Rod talk 19:02, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- I'm a bit concerned about this section in general. It tells me quite a bit about the coal mining and glass works, but next to nothing about Nailsea itself, like when it was first inhabited, when and why (the railway?) it grew to become a commuter town and so on.
- One of the books (Dunning 2003, History of Somerset - 3rd Ed) says Nailsea was largely unaffected by the railway & only expanded when roads improved as one of several satellites for Bristol (& to a lesser extent Weston -super-Mare).— Rod talk 19:02, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- This source (which wouldn't pass RS) says "By 1086 the Domesday Book describes a hamlet of 28 subsistence farmers living off what they could grow. And for the next 700 years, agriculture was the way that people earned their money, with gradually increasing amounts of marshland being drained to make way for fields."— Rod talk 19:27, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- Well this isn't FAC, so I'm not to push too hard. But can we add anything on the toponymy of the name? Malleus Fatuorum 20:30, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- The same source argues for Nigel's island or 'Niall's See - but I can't find any other source to back this up. This source suggests it was "Naylsey" in 1657.— Rod talk 20:53, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- Try this site, hosted by the University of Nottingham. It suggests that the derivation of the name is the Old English for "Naegl's island". Malleus Fatuorum 21:09, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks for this, however there seem to be several different explanations, each with limited evidence to support them (& I would have problems formatting a reference to the Uni of Nottingham popup page) and therefore this has not yet been addressed (& I'm not sure if it can be definitively).— Rod talk 07:52, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- It's easy enough, here's the link. This source has been used in a number of other articles, including Salford, Greater Manchester. Malleus Fatuorum 14:20, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- OK I've put in a sentence as you obviously want this included - but any revisions/improvements welcome.— Rod talk 17:30, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- There was no single "40-400 AD period invasion".
- Removed. Jaguar ( talk) 21:59, 29 April 2011 (UTC)
- "The earliest date for coal mining in Nailsea was first recorded in 1507 ...". That doesn't really make sense. Is the earliest recorded date 1507 or was it recorded in 1507?
- Sentence revised.— Rod talk 14:30, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- "By the late 1700s the town had a large number of pits and was visited by the social reformer Hannah More who founded a Sunday school for the workers." Trying to cram too much in there, and it's consequently become a bit garbled.
- Turned into two sentences.— Rod talk 14:30, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- "Other parts of the site are currently being cleared and filled with sand to ensure that the remains of the old glass works are preserved." When is currently? As of 2011?
- The work was done in 2009 & 2010 so revised to "has been"...— Rod talk 14:30, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- Economy
- "Coate's cider factory was bought by Showerings of Shepton Mallet in 1956 ...". This is just parachuted in without any context. Was the Coate's factory in Nailsea? When did it open?
- I have added more detail about the cider factory. Jaguar ( talk) 19:00, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- "Adge Cutler, whose backing band were The Wurzels, used to work at the factory." We get told about Adge Cutler and The Wurzels again in the Notable people section, and I'm not really sure this has any place in the Economy section anyway.
- I've removed the mention from this section & used the reference in notable people.— Rod talk 20:32, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- Culture and community
- "Nailsea includes pubs and a small nightclub ...". "Includes" isn't the right word there.
- revised.— Rod talk 14:56, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- "The Scotch Horn park contains a skate park ...". Should "park" be capitalised there? What is the park called? The Scotch Horn or the Scotch Horn Park?
- Not sure.— Rod talk 14:56, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- I have reworded this setence to make it clearer. Jaguar ( talk) 16:10, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- I've revised this sentence. Jaguar ( talk) 15:47, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- "Noah's Ark Zoo Farm has of exotic, agricultural and domestic animals ...". Clearly something missing there.
- revised
- "... room for other indoor sports, but notably not a swimming pool." In what way is it notable?
- most towns of this size have one but word "notable" removed.— Rod talk 14:56, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- Sport
- "The 1st XV currently play in Somerset 1 (level 9 of the RFU league system) ...". Need to avoid words like "currently", as they age and I've got no idea when this was written. Better to say something like "as of the 2010–2011 season".
- Reworded. Jaguar ( talk) 15:53, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- It now says "The 1st XV played in Somerset 1 (level 9 of the RFU league system) and the 2nd XV compete in Somerset 3 North ( level 11)". Why is the first in the past tense and the second in the present tense? Malleus Fatuorum 18:25, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- I have found a reference which states that the 1st XV RFC are playing in Somerset as of the Summer 2011 season. Jaguar ( talk) 20:28, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
- "There are two different junior football teams ranging from Under 8's to Under 16's." Which is it? A range or just two?
- I have made this clearer to understand. Jaguar ( talk) 16:07, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- It now says "There are two different junior football teams in the area that both range from Under 8's to Under 16's", which I still don't understand. Are there two different teams or two teams? And how can a team range from under 8's to under 16's? Malleus Fatuorum 18:25, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- I have sorted this sentence: "There are two seperate junior football teams in the area that range from Under 8's to Under 16's." Since they are junior teams, they are both seperate but they host games from Under 8's to Under 16's. Jaguar ( talk) 20:35, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
- "These teams accompany three different adult football teams in the area along with two different 5 a side leagues and a basketball team." The word "different" is used three times in two consecutive sentences, but what's it trying to tell me? In what way do the junior teams "accompany" the senior teams?
- Reworded. Jaguar ( talk) 16:07, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- It now says "These teams both accompany three adult football teams in the area along with two different 5 a side leagues and a basketball team", but I still don't understand it. The teams accompany (whatever that means) ... along with two 5-a-side leagues? And once again, why that "different"? Malleus Fatuorum 18:25, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- I have reworded it: "These two teams also accompany three adult football teams in the area along with two 5 a side leagues and a basketball team." There are only two teams in the area which accompany (which still comes under one team) a a few adult football teams. Jaguar ( talk) 20:42, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
- I'm afraid that I'm still not getting it. What does "accompany" mean here? And what have the two teams to do with the the rwo five-a-side leagues? Are the leagues local to Nailsea? Malleus Fatuorum 21:20, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
- Governance
- "It is now within the North Somerset unitary authority, which covers part of the ceremonial county of Somerset but it is administered independently of the non-metropolitan county." Administered independently by whom?
- The Unitary Authority of N. Som is independent of Somerset County Council in local government terms, but still within the ceremonial county. However I am unsure how to word this to make it clearer - wouldn't it be simpler if English government processes were standardised!— Rod talk 14:30, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- References
- There's one dead link. [1]
- Fixed. Jaguar ( talk) 16:01, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
I think that's about it, so the review is now on hold for the customary seven days. Malleus Fatuorum 15:33, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
Units of measure
- It says "8 miles from the centre". A conversion into km would make the article more accessible.
- Thanks, I've converted this sentence. Jaguar ( talk) 15:56, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- It says "temperatures of 1 °C (33.8 °F) or 2 °C (35.6 °F) are common" Precision is part art, part science. In these cases, I think conversions should be limited to integer values.
- Done. Jaguar ( talk) 15:57, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
Hope that helps Lightmouse ( talk) 15:47, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
Current state of play
I'm going to fail this article because of its very poor Sports section. I've asked repeatedly for clarification but very little has been forthcoming.
- "Nailsea and Backwell RFC was established in 1972" is the opening sentence, yet the citation is to Nailsea United Football Club's web site, who were founded in 1897.
- "There are two seperate junior football teams in the area that range from Under 8's to Under 16's." Disregarding the poor spelling, I've complained about this sentence several times now, yet nothing has been done to improve it.
- The bottom line is that unless this section is completely rewritten, intelligibly and with accurate sourcing, then this article will not be listed as a GA. I understand that the nominator is preoccupied with studying for exams, and I have no wish to add additional pressure by keeping this review open. Malleus Fatuorum 23:50, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 17:50, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- Lead
- The caption for the image in the lead says "Nailsea and Backwell viewed from Cadbury Camp", yet Backwell isn't mentioned in the lead. What has Backwell to do with Nailsea?
- I've added a sentence to the lead explaining it is the nearest village.— Rod talk 07:52, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- History
- It seems very out of place to begin this section by talking about Nailsea Court in a very short introductory paragraph.
- A little bit has been added on the Roman era, however having gone back to books on Somerset & Avon there is very little recorded before coal & glass making.— Rod talk 19:02, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- I'm a bit concerned about this section in general. It tells me quite a bit about the coal mining and glass works, but next to nothing about Nailsea itself, like when it was first inhabited, when and why (the railway?) it grew to become a commuter town and so on.
- One of the books (Dunning 2003, History of Somerset - 3rd Ed) says Nailsea was largely unaffected by the railway & only expanded when roads improved as one of several satellites for Bristol (& to a lesser extent Weston -super-Mare).— Rod talk 19:02, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- This source (which wouldn't pass RS) says "By 1086 the Domesday Book describes a hamlet of 28 subsistence farmers living off what they could grow. And for the next 700 years, agriculture was the way that people earned their money, with gradually increasing amounts of marshland being drained to make way for fields."— Rod talk 19:27, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- Well this isn't FAC, so I'm not to push too hard. But can we add anything on the toponymy of the name? Malleus Fatuorum 20:30, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- The same source argues for Nigel's island or 'Niall's See - but I can't find any other source to back this up. This source suggests it was "Naylsey" in 1657.— Rod talk 20:53, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- Try this site, hosted by the University of Nottingham. It suggests that the derivation of the name is the Old English for "Naegl's island". Malleus Fatuorum 21:09, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks for this, however there seem to be several different explanations, each with limited evidence to support them (& I would have problems formatting a reference to the Uni of Nottingham popup page) and therefore this has not yet been addressed (& I'm not sure if it can be definitively).— Rod talk 07:52, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- It's easy enough, here's the link. This source has been used in a number of other articles, including Salford, Greater Manchester. Malleus Fatuorum 14:20, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- OK I've put in a sentence as you obviously want this included - but any revisions/improvements welcome.— Rod talk 17:30, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- There was no single "40-400 AD period invasion".
- Removed. Jaguar ( talk) 21:59, 29 April 2011 (UTC)
- "The earliest date for coal mining in Nailsea was first recorded in 1507 ...". That doesn't really make sense. Is the earliest recorded date 1507 or was it recorded in 1507?
- Sentence revised.— Rod talk 14:30, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- "By the late 1700s the town had a large number of pits and was visited by the social reformer Hannah More who founded a Sunday school for the workers." Trying to cram too much in there, and it's consequently become a bit garbled.
- Turned into two sentences.— Rod talk 14:30, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- "Other parts of the site are currently being cleared and filled with sand to ensure that the remains of the old glass works are preserved." When is currently? As of 2011?
- The work was done in 2009 & 2010 so revised to "has been"...— Rod talk 14:30, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- Economy
- "Coate's cider factory was bought by Showerings of Shepton Mallet in 1956 ...". This is just parachuted in without any context. Was the Coate's factory in Nailsea? When did it open?
- I have added more detail about the cider factory. Jaguar ( talk) 19:00, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- "Adge Cutler, whose backing band were The Wurzels, used to work at the factory." We get told about Adge Cutler and The Wurzels again in the Notable people section, and I'm not really sure this has any place in the Economy section anyway.
- I've removed the mention from this section & used the reference in notable people.— Rod talk 20:32, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- Culture and community
- "Nailsea includes pubs and a small nightclub ...". "Includes" isn't the right word there.
- revised.— Rod talk 14:56, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- "The Scotch Horn park contains a skate park ...". Should "park" be capitalised there? What is the park called? The Scotch Horn or the Scotch Horn Park?
- Not sure.— Rod talk 14:56, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- I have reworded this setence to make it clearer. Jaguar ( talk) 16:10, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- I've revised this sentence. Jaguar ( talk) 15:47, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- "Noah's Ark Zoo Farm has of exotic, agricultural and domestic animals ...". Clearly something missing there.
- revised
- "... room for other indoor sports, but notably not a swimming pool." In what way is it notable?
- most towns of this size have one but word "notable" removed.— Rod talk 14:56, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- Sport
- "The 1st XV currently play in Somerset 1 (level 9 of the RFU league system) ...". Need to avoid words like "currently", as they age and I've got no idea when this was written. Better to say something like "as of the 2010–2011 season".
- Reworded. Jaguar ( talk) 15:53, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- It now says "The 1st XV played in Somerset 1 (level 9 of the RFU league system) and the 2nd XV compete in Somerset 3 North ( level 11)". Why is the first in the past tense and the second in the present tense? Malleus Fatuorum 18:25, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- I have found a reference which states that the 1st XV RFC are playing in Somerset as of the Summer 2011 season. Jaguar ( talk) 20:28, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
- "There are two different junior football teams ranging from Under 8's to Under 16's." Which is it? A range or just two?
- I have made this clearer to understand. Jaguar ( talk) 16:07, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- It now says "There are two different junior football teams in the area that both range from Under 8's to Under 16's", which I still don't understand. Are there two different teams or two teams? And how can a team range from under 8's to under 16's? Malleus Fatuorum 18:25, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- I have sorted this sentence: "There are two seperate junior football teams in the area that range from Under 8's to Under 16's." Since they are junior teams, they are both seperate but they host games from Under 8's to Under 16's. Jaguar ( talk) 20:35, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
- "These teams accompany three different adult football teams in the area along with two different 5 a side leagues and a basketball team." The word "different" is used three times in two consecutive sentences, but what's it trying to tell me? In what way do the junior teams "accompany" the senior teams?
- Reworded. Jaguar ( talk) 16:07, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- It now says "These teams both accompany three adult football teams in the area along with two different 5 a side leagues and a basketball team", but I still don't understand it. The teams accompany (whatever that means) ... along with two 5-a-side leagues? And once again, why that "different"? Malleus Fatuorum 18:25, 3 May 2011 (UTC)
- I have reworded it: "These two teams also accompany three adult football teams in the area along with two 5 a side leagues and a basketball team." There are only two teams in the area which accompany (which still comes under one team) a a few adult football teams. Jaguar ( talk) 20:42, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
- I'm afraid that I'm still not getting it. What does "accompany" mean here? And what have the two teams to do with the the rwo five-a-side leagues? Are the leagues local to Nailsea? Malleus Fatuorum 21:20, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
- Governance
- "It is now within the North Somerset unitary authority, which covers part of the ceremonial county of Somerset but it is administered independently of the non-metropolitan county." Administered independently by whom?
- The Unitary Authority of N. Som is independent of Somerset County Council in local government terms, but still within the ceremonial county. However I am unsure how to word this to make it clearer - wouldn't it be simpler if English government processes were standardised!— Rod talk 14:30, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- References
- There's one dead link. [1]
- Fixed. Jaguar ( talk) 16:01, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
I think that's about it, so the review is now on hold for the customary seven days. Malleus Fatuorum 15:33, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
Units of measure
- It says "8 miles from the centre". A conversion into km would make the article more accessible.
- Thanks, I've converted this sentence. Jaguar ( talk) 15:56, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
- It says "temperatures of 1 °C (33.8 °F) or 2 °C (35.6 °F) are common" Precision is part art, part science. In these cases, I think conversions should be limited to integer values.
- Done. Jaguar ( talk) 15:57, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
Hope that helps Lightmouse ( talk) 15:47, 30 April 2011 (UTC)
Current state of play
I'm going to fail this article because of its very poor Sports section. I've asked repeatedly for clarification but very little has been forthcoming.
- "Nailsea and Backwell RFC was established in 1972" is the opening sentence, yet the citation is to Nailsea United Football Club's web site, who were founded in 1897.
- "There are two seperate junior football teams in the area that range from Under 8's to Under 16's." Disregarding the poor spelling, I've complained about this sentence several times now, yet nothing has been done to improve it.
- The bottom line is that unless this section is completely rewritten, intelligibly and with accurate sourcing, then this article will not be listed as a GA. I understand that the nominator is preoccupied with studying for exams, and I have no wish to add additional pressure by keeping this review open. Malleus Fatuorum 23:50, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.