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Reviewer: SusunW ( talk · contribs) I'll take this one. For the record, I am slow and meticulous. I view the review process as a collaboration and conversation to improve the article. Please feel free to disagree with my comments. (also, I am in Mexico CST, so you'll have an idea of when I am active or not.) 15:40, 3 December 2023 (UTC)
Born into a noble and wealthy family, she eventually dedicated herself to activism.I would lose eventually. Everyone eventually dies, but we wouldn't say that. Also you should say what kind of activism, i.e. focused on women's education and well-being.
Alongside Anna Filosofova and Maria Trubnikova, Stasova was one of the leaders of the first organised Russian women's movement. Together, the three were referred to as the "triumvirate".[2][3]The lede should not contain information that is not cited in the body and should be free of citations entirely, except in the case of an exceptional claim. None of this appears to be exceptional, thus, citations should be removed. The material should be cited in the body, as I note there is no mention of the Russian women's movement in the body, Filosofova's first name isn't given in the body, neither she nor Trubnikova are linked in the body, and while the word triumvirate appears in the body, it does not state that that was how the women were commonly called.
In her final years, she continued to supportwasn't this more likely "Throughout her life, she supported"?
General comments: All refs appear to be RS and independent. Consistency of citations needs to be addressed (not a GA criteria, but will be if you intend to take it to FA: ISBN segmenting has meaning, different segments indicate when, who, language, specific work, etc. On-line converters are helpful. MOS:TITLECAPS indicates English titles should be in title case. Again on-line converter is helpful. I am not wiki-technical so if there are wiki functions that do this, I don't know of them. Location of publisher is haphazardly stated.)
Versions of sources I used to check copyvio. (You may not be able to access without removing .mx) Numbers refer to Special:PermanentLink/1188157079.
::* Fixed? - I believe I've done this as you intended, but let me know if that's not what you had in mind. —
Ganesha811 (
talk)
21:18, 3 December 2023 (UTC)
she had five brothers...info on Vladimir (V.V.) and Sofia appears on pp 75-76. I see no mention of Dmitry, but his relationship is confirmed in Muravyeva, p 526. Add page #s and citation.
As a young womanshould probably say after she was 25 (source says "in her late twenties". Dating is important because it makes it clearer later down that she spent a significant portion of her life abroad.)
However, shortly before their wedding, lose "however", fiancé refers to a man (ée is a woman), insert p. 75
never marryinsert p. 75
died of consumption in 1858appears on p. 76, but it also says that the death made her "return to St. Petersburg". She couldn't very well return if she hadn't left, so where was she? Aha! Rappaport, p 671 says she was living abroad until 1858, so probably around a decade was spent as a carer for her sister, which IMO is significant and needs to be added along with the fact that she returned.
All comments in section addressed. SusunW ( talk) 16:12, 4 December 2023 (UTC)
in 1859add page #s: Rappaport p 671, Ruthchild p. 76
The group had two factionsand
leading the "Russians". I see that the Society for Inexpensive Lodgings (which is what Engel calls it) had two factions, but don't see the "German party" and the "Russian party" in any of the sources, nor anything about "giving to institutions" as opposed to "direct aid". Engel says on pages 58-59 merely that the conservative faction believed in monitoring beneficiaries, but the more liberal triumvirate members did not. Perhaps there is another source that gives this information?
which differed on their preferred approachyou need to insert Ruthchild p. 76
Stasova and her sister-in-lawWho is her sister-in-law? I see no reference to her (whoever she was) specifically. Zelnik p. 154 says "N. V. Stasova and other representatives of the progressive St. Petersburg intelligentsia" and Rappaport p 671 says Stasova "founded a women's Sunday School". Okay, I see that s-i-l is Polixena Stasova and her involvement is confirmed in Muravyeva p. 527 Page numbers need to be added, s-i-l needs a name, and additional citation for Muravyeva needs to be added.
Resuming review:
Comment, no apparent copyvios in this section, but I have no access to Kaufman, which AGF. SusunW ( talk) 15:46, 4 December 2023 (UTC)
overwhelmingly by womenI see in Johanson but not in Muravyeva.
limited set of coursesMyravteva is 528, Rappaport is 671. (you might also list them, as Rappaport says "chemistry, history, anatomy, zoology, and Russian literature". Indeed a limited set of courses, but progress.)
Another of her niecesseems out of place in this section, I would probably relocate it to "Early life" and just say "One of her nieces".
organizing once more, organizing them once more? She isn't doing general rallying, but specific agitation for the courses, right?
chair of the Society for Assistancereads oddly to me. She didn't create a chairmanship for the society, she helped the triumvirate create the society.
one scholarname Rochelle Goldberg Ruthchild
And that's a wrap. Thank you for your patience with me and for your work on the article. I enjoyed learning about her and appreciate your collaborative spirit. SusunW ( talk) 17:28, 4 December 2023 (UTC)
It's been a pleasure to work with you. Give me a few minutes to finish passing the article. SusunW ( talk) 17:56, 4 December 2023 (UTC)
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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Article (
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visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
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history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: SusunW ( talk · contribs) I'll take this one. For the record, I am slow and meticulous. I view the review process as a collaboration and conversation to improve the article. Please feel free to disagree with my comments. (also, I am in Mexico CST, so you'll have an idea of when I am active or not.) 15:40, 3 December 2023 (UTC)
Born into a noble and wealthy family, she eventually dedicated herself to activism.I would lose eventually. Everyone eventually dies, but we wouldn't say that. Also you should say what kind of activism, i.e. focused on women's education and well-being.
Alongside Anna Filosofova and Maria Trubnikova, Stasova was one of the leaders of the first organised Russian women's movement. Together, the three were referred to as the "triumvirate".[2][3]The lede should not contain information that is not cited in the body and should be free of citations entirely, except in the case of an exceptional claim. None of this appears to be exceptional, thus, citations should be removed. The material should be cited in the body, as I note there is no mention of the Russian women's movement in the body, Filosofova's first name isn't given in the body, neither she nor Trubnikova are linked in the body, and while the word triumvirate appears in the body, it does not state that that was how the women were commonly called.
In her final years, she continued to supportwasn't this more likely "Throughout her life, she supported"?
General comments: All refs appear to be RS and independent. Consistency of citations needs to be addressed (not a GA criteria, but will be if you intend to take it to FA: ISBN segmenting has meaning, different segments indicate when, who, language, specific work, etc. On-line converters are helpful. MOS:TITLECAPS indicates English titles should be in title case. Again on-line converter is helpful. I am not wiki-technical so if there are wiki functions that do this, I don't know of them. Location of publisher is haphazardly stated.)
Versions of sources I used to check copyvio. (You may not be able to access without removing .mx) Numbers refer to Special:PermanentLink/1188157079.
::* Fixed? - I believe I've done this as you intended, but let me know if that's not what you had in mind. —
Ganesha811 (
talk)
21:18, 3 December 2023 (UTC)
she had five brothers...info on Vladimir (V.V.) and Sofia appears on pp 75-76. I see no mention of Dmitry, but his relationship is confirmed in Muravyeva, p 526. Add page #s and citation.
As a young womanshould probably say after she was 25 (source says "in her late twenties". Dating is important because it makes it clearer later down that she spent a significant portion of her life abroad.)
However, shortly before their wedding, lose "however", fiancé refers to a man (ée is a woman), insert p. 75
never marryinsert p. 75
died of consumption in 1858appears on p. 76, but it also says that the death made her "return to St. Petersburg". She couldn't very well return if she hadn't left, so where was she? Aha! Rappaport, p 671 says she was living abroad until 1858, so probably around a decade was spent as a carer for her sister, which IMO is significant and needs to be added along with the fact that she returned.
All comments in section addressed. SusunW ( talk) 16:12, 4 December 2023 (UTC)
in 1859add page #s: Rappaport p 671, Ruthchild p. 76
The group had two factionsand
leading the "Russians". I see that the Society for Inexpensive Lodgings (which is what Engel calls it) had two factions, but don't see the "German party" and the "Russian party" in any of the sources, nor anything about "giving to institutions" as opposed to "direct aid". Engel says on pages 58-59 merely that the conservative faction believed in monitoring beneficiaries, but the more liberal triumvirate members did not. Perhaps there is another source that gives this information?
which differed on their preferred approachyou need to insert Ruthchild p. 76
Stasova and her sister-in-lawWho is her sister-in-law? I see no reference to her (whoever she was) specifically. Zelnik p. 154 says "N. V. Stasova and other representatives of the progressive St. Petersburg intelligentsia" and Rappaport p 671 says Stasova "founded a women's Sunday School". Okay, I see that s-i-l is Polixena Stasova and her involvement is confirmed in Muravyeva p. 527 Page numbers need to be added, s-i-l needs a name, and additional citation for Muravyeva needs to be added.
Resuming review:
Comment, no apparent copyvios in this section, but I have no access to Kaufman, which AGF. SusunW ( talk) 15:46, 4 December 2023 (UTC)
overwhelmingly by womenI see in Johanson but not in Muravyeva.
limited set of coursesMyravteva is 528, Rappaport is 671. (you might also list them, as Rappaport says "chemistry, history, anatomy, zoology, and Russian literature". Indeed a limited set of courses, but progress.)
Another of her niecesseems out of place in this section, I would probably relocate it to "Early life" and just say "One of her nieces".
organizing once more, organizing them once more? She isn't doing general rallying, but specific agitation for the courses, right?
chair of the Society for Assistancereads oddly to me. She didn't create a chairmanship for the society, she helped the triumvirate create the society.
one scholarname Rochelle Goldberg Ruthchild
And that's a wrap. Thank you for your patience with me and for your work on the article. I enjoyed learning about her and appreciate your collaborative spirit. SusunW ( talk) 17:28, 4 December 2023 (UTC)
It's been a pleasure to work with you. Give me a few minutes to finish passing the article. SusunW ( talk) 17:56, 4 December 2023 (UTC)