"Lyrically, it speaks about Eilish's battle" → "Lyrically, "NDA" speaks about Eilish's battles" moving this and the following sentence to being at the start of the second para instead
"the track transitions into "
Therefore I Am", which follows "NDA" in the album's track listing." → "the song
transitions into the following album track, "
Therefore I Am"." with the pipe
"It was received positively by the" → "The song received mostly positive reviews from"
Applied to all of the suggestions you made. With an exception of changing the build of the lead. Is it really necessary to change the way its built? Because I prefer when it starts with an information who wrote it, then its composition, and next para being about release and reception, with the last being about promotion. Maybe it is this way, since I did not read any style guides... Saying it for the sake of honesty. And regarding pop, I used to think about it too, however I saw other articles which also had pop and its subgenre both listed as genres (i.e. "
Everything I Wanted"), that's why I decided to keep it.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
19:36, 21 November 2021 (UTC)reply
Background and release
Pipe Hawaiian island to
Hawaiian islands and since the img is here, shouldn't the mention of her trip be too? Either way, keep the lyric down there.
"second studio album Happier Than Ever." → "second album Happier Than Ever for release on July 30."
"Preceding "NDA"'s release," → "Preceding the release of "NDA","
Where is significant media coverage sourced?
"the music video for the" → "the
music video for her" with the wikilink and mention the song's name after "previous single"
"Additionally one of the" → "Additionally, one of the"
Shouldn't the img be in the second para of music and lyrics instead since it focuses on the lyrical meaning? Also, pipe Insider to
Insider (website) per
MOS:LINK2SECT
"full, uneasy bloom."" → "full, uneasy bloom"." per MOS:QUOTE
Lithuania should be after UK per geographical order, plus you need to mention the other countries it reached the top 40 in per this ranking being mentioned as frequent in the lead
"at number 16, and felt off" → "at number 16 on the
ARIA Singles Chart, before falling off" with the pipe
"while Yohann Ruelle from Pure Charts called it" → "Ruelle called the video" and connect this with the following sentence, but use something other than "while" to be less repetitive
"says that since the video" → "said that since the video"
"set pieces" and that Eilish" → "set pieces", Eilish"
"for "decidedly dark track" as" → "for a "decidedly dark track" like"
""dark and spectacular"." → ""dark[,] and spectacular"."
"called it "fast" → "called the video a "fast"
iHeartRadio Canada should not be italicised
"said that this video" → "said the video"
"Bardají dubbed it as" → "Bardají dubbed the video as"
"submerged almost 12 million views" → "reached almost 12 million views" and mention if these are YouTube if the source(s) do
Cite Sverigetopplistan as publisher instead on ref 141
Cite Tidal as publisher instead on ref 149
Ref 44 is a duplicate of ref 14; are you sure you shouldn't be using a different URL here?
Nope, the one used in "Background and release" section uses archive url as a primarly URL, while the one in "Music and lyrics" section uses the original as a primary URL. The reason behind that is that article has been updated, and cut the information neccesary for the former section.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
01:21, 27 November 2021 (UTC)reply
Copyvio score looks slightly too high at 43.8% for Capital FM; cut down the quoting level to fix this
WP:OVERLINK of Rolling Stone on refs 106, 119, 123 and 148, plus always cite as work/website and why does only one RS ref have url-access limited?
@
Kyle Peake: I hope you don't mind I segregated the section to things I done, and did not done. I just wanted to segregate those things. I'm on the last stretch I suppose. I also asked one question on
#Development and recording section, I forgotten to ping you back then, so I'm bringing your attention right now.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
01:21, 27 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Infsai: Thank you for the mention, the last point in development and recording that I made was done to give kudos, not as any actual suggestion. It is good you are progressing further into my points, reasonable explanation for the NME refs and why haven't you fixed Copyvio or Rolling Stone yet? --
K. Peake10:54, 27 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: Oh, ok. Thanks! Sometimes I don't get certain words, since my English vocabulary is not that great, as you can see probably. Regarding NME, I explained above ("Nope, the one used in 'Background and release' section uses archive url as a primarly URL, while the one in 'Music and lyrics' section uses the original as a primary URL. The reason behind that is that article has been updated, and cut the information neccesary for the former section."), while the rest of the work will be handled in next 24-ish hours hopefully.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
23:06, 27 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Infsai: Your mistake is understandable based on your statement about English above, but I saying the explanation for NME was acceptable and I hope the rest of this is indeed fixed soon! --
K. Peake07:51, 28 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: I will eventually apply the rest of your suggestions. This will probably take like few days to accomplish - or maybe less, depending on how much time I will have. I am also planning to adding few new source to the article - I mean, I was collecting them for some time, but simply didn't find to add them earlier. Those sources include:
Chorus.fm,
Melty.fr,
Nicki Swift,
Tone Deaf, and
Teen Vogue. I chose to tell you about it for the sake of clarity, and maybe to stop me from using not good source, even though I checked out all of those in
WP:RSP. My methology on searching for the sources for articles is not only using Google search, but I also look on other song articles to find websites which are used as a ref there and see if they have some info about the song I'm writing about.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
19:36, 21 November 2021 (UTC)reply
I applaud your heavy amount of research and you do have a good method for finding sources to use, but Nicki Swift has not been assessed at WP:RSP yet see
discussion to understand why this gossip website is unreliable. --
K. Peake08:04, 22 November 2021 (UTC)reply
Thanks for notyfing me that Nicki Swift is not a reliable source! Anyway, I changed the music video section to match your suggestions, besides the
noted one. I will try to give new reliable sources and change the text of commercial performance section today or tomorrow, same with most of references work. However, I'm not sure how much time it will take to rephrase some of the article parts, so the copyvio wouldn't be that high.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
16:21, 22 November 2021 (UTC)reply
It is fine since I do have plenty of time, but if you are struggling with paraphrasing then maybe remove some parts that aren't 100% contextual for the article. --
K. Peake09:07, 23 November 2021 (UTC)reply
Okay, so I applied to your suggestions about the "Commercial performance" section and done some ref-related work. I hope I'd be able to accomplish the rest of the remaining work til the end of the week. And regarding your proposal, firstly I'd try to do it myself, but if I won't have an idea what to do I'll hit you up, ok?
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
22:48, 24 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: Ok, I guess I've done everything I could. I lowered down Copyvio of CapitalFM and fixed remaining issues. Do I have to anything else? Maybe I missed something?
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
22:57, 29 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Infsai: You still need to fix the Rolling Stone refs in accordance with what I suggested, also Rob Sheffield's surname should be cited first for ref 77. --
K. Peake07:27, 30 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: So, I removed links from those refs and changed magazine into work. I also changed value next to url-access to registration only for those links that asked me for login to read the article.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
22:54, 30 November 2021 (UTC)reply
"Lyrically, it speaks about Eilish's battle" → "Lyrically, "NDA" speaks about Eilish's battles" moving this and the following sentence to being at the start of the second para instead
"the track transitions into "
Therefore I Am", which follows "NDA" in the album's track listing." → "the song
transitions into the following album track, "
Therefore I Am"." with the pipe
"It was received positively by the" → "The song received mostly positive reviews from"
Applied to all of the suggestions you made. With an exception of changing the build of the lead. Is it really necessary to change the way its built? Because I prefer when it starts with an information who wrote it, then its composition, and next para being about release and reception, with the last being about promotion. Maybe it is this way, since I did not read any style guides... Saying it for the sake of honesty. And regarding pop, I used to think about it too, however I saw other articles which also had pop and its subgenre both listed as genres (i.e. "
Everything I Wanted"), that's why I decided to keep it.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
19:36, 21 November 2021 (UTC)reply
Background and release
Pipe Hawaiian island to
Hawaiian islands and since the img is here, shouldn't the mention of her trip be too? Either way, keep the lyric down there.
"second studio album Happier Than Ever." → "second album Happier Than Ever for release on July 30."
"Preceding "NDA"'s release," → "Preceding the release of "NDA","
Where is significant media coverage sourced?
"the music video for the" → "the
music video for her" with the wikilink and mention the song's name after "previous single"
"Additionally one of the" → "Additionally, one of the"
Shouldn't the img be in the second para of music and lyrics instead since it focuses on the lyrical meaning? Also, pipe Insider to
Insider (website) per
MOS:LINK2SECT
"full, uneasy bloom."" → "full, uneasy bloom"." per MOS:QUOTE
Lithuania should be after UK per geographical order, plus you need to mention the other countries it reached the top 40 in per this ranking being mentioned as frequent in the lead
"at number 16, and felt off" → "at number 16 on the
ARIA Singles Chart, before falling off" with the pipe
"while Yohann Ruelle from Pure Charts called it" → "Ruelle called the video" and connect this with the following sentence, but use something other than "while" to be less repetitive
"says that since the video" → "said that since the video"
"set pieces" and that Eilish" → "set pieces", Eilish"
"for "decidedly dark track" as" → "for a "decidedly dark track" like"
""dark and spectacular"." → ""dark[,] and spectacular"."
"called it "fast" → "called the video a "fast"
iHeartRadio Canada should not be italicised
"said that this video" → "said the video"
"Bardají dubbed it as" → "Bardají dubbed the video as"
"submerged almost 12 million views" → "reached almost 12 million views" and mention if these are YouTube if the source(s) do
Cite Sverigetopplistan as publisher instead on ref 141
Cite Tidal as publisher instead on ref 149
Ref 44 is a duplicate of ref 14; are you sure you shouldn't be using a different URL here?
Nope, the one used in "Background and release" section uses archive url as a primarly URL, while the one in "Music and lyrics" section uses the original as a primary URL. The reason behind that is that article has been updated, and cut the information neccesary for the former section.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
01:21, 27 November 2021 (UTC)reply
Copyvio score looks slightly too high at 43.8% for Capital FM; cut down the quoting level to fix this
WP:OVERLINK of Rolling Stone on refs 106, 119, 123 and 148, plus always cite as work/website and why does only one RS ref have url-access limited?
@
Kyle Peake: I hope you don't mind I segregated the section to things I done, and did not done. I just wanted to segregate those things. I'm on the last stretch I suppose. I also asked one question on
#Development and recording section, I forgotten to ping you back then, so I'm bringing your attention right now.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
01:21, 27 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Infsai: Thank you for the mention, the last point in development and recording that I made was done to give kudos, not as any actual suggestion. It is good you are progressing further into my points, reasonable explanation for the NME refs and why haven't you fixed Copyvio or Rolling Stone yet? --
K. Peake10:54, 27 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: Oh, ok. Thanks! Sometimes I don't get certain words, since my English vocabulary is not that great, as you can see probably. Regarding NME, I explained above ("Nope, the one used in 'Background and release' section uses archive url as a primarly URL, while the one in 'Music and lyrics' section uses the original as a primary URL. The reason behind that is that article has been updated, and cut the information neccesary for the former section."), while the rest of the work will be handled in next 24-ish hours hopefully.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
23:06, 27 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Infsai: Your mistake is understandable based on your statement about English above, but I saying the explanation for NME was acceptable and I hope the rest of this is indeed fixed soon! --
K. Peake07:51, 28 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: I will eventually apply the rest of your suggestions. This will probably take like few days to accomplish - or maybe less, depending on how much time I will have. I am also planning to adding few new source to the article - I mean, I was collecting them for some time, but simply didn't find to add them earlier. Those sources include:
Chorus.fm,
Melty.fr,
Nicki Swift,
Tone Deaf, and
Teen Vogue. I chose to tell you about it for the sake of clarity, and maybe to stop me from using not good source, even though I checked out all of those in
WP:RSP. My methology on searching for the sources for articles is not only using Google search, but I also look on other song articles to find websites which are used as a ref there and see if they have some info about the song I'm writing about.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
19:36, 21 November 2021 (UTC)reply
I applaud your heavy amount of research and you do have a good method for finding sources to use, but Nicki Swift has not been assessed at WP:RSP yet see
discussion to understand why this gossip website is unreliable. --
K. Peake08:04, 22 November 2021 (UTC)reply
Thanks for notyfing me that Nicki Swift is not a reliable source! Anyway, I changed the music video section to match your suggestions, besides the
noted one. I will try to give new reliable sources and change the text of commercial performance section today or tomorrow, same with most of references work. However, I'm not sure how much time it will take to rephrase some of the article parts, so the copyvio wouldn't be that high.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
16:21, 22 November 2021 (UTC)reply
It is fine since I do have plenty of time, but if you are struggling with paraphrasing then maybe remove some parts that aren't 100% contextual for the article. --
K. Peake09:07, 23 November 2021 (UTC)reply
Okay, so I applied to your suggestions about the "Commercial performance" section and done some ref-related work. I hope I'd be able to accomplish the rest of the remaining work til the end of the week. And regarding your proposal, firstly I'd try to do it myself, but if I won't have an idea what to do I'll hit you up, ok?
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
22:48, 24 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: Ok, I guess I've done everything I could. I lowered down Copyvio of CapitalFM and fixed remaining issues. Do I have to anything else? Maybe I missed something?
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
22:57, 29 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Infsai: You still need to fix the Rolling Stone refs in accordance with what I suggested, also Rob Sheffield's surname should be cited first for ref 77. --
K. Peake07:27, 30 November 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: So, I removed links from those refs and changed magazine into work. I also changed value next to url-access to registration only for those links that asked me for login to read the article.
infsai (
talkie? UwU)
22:54, 30 November 2021 (UTC)reply