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Reviewer: FeuDeJoie ( talk) 22:22, 13 August 2011 (UTC)
Okay so here I go;
Is the article... Well written
- Really it's not, the introduction is too small, the article lacks depth, information, prose and grammar.
Factually accurate
- Generally yes, but some sentences aren't referenced, and there isn't a lot of facts to be accurate.
Broad in it's coverage
- Absolutely not, there is no concept, a very small critical reception section and there isn't even any personnel information, which is vital.
Neutral
- Yes, but cannot emphasis how much these needs expansion!
Stable
- Yes.
Overall, Before I start reviewing this article more thoroughly, you need to look through it yourself, there are spelling and grammar mistakes but mostly you need to expand this majorly, it has a lot of one sentence statements which need to be joined to a paragraph! I am placing this article on hold for seven days, in which time I will look back at any additions, review that and if I think it is suitable, I will give it another week on hold to review what I hope will be a very expanded article - -- FeuDeJoie ( talk) 22:32, 13 August 2011 (UTC)
- Hi,
- the article has changed a lot since last week :) I would like to add one thing about the reviews: I've searched the whole web and the only professional review I could find is the one from Allmusic. There is absolutely no other. Max24 ( talk) 20:23, 20 August 2011 (UTC)
Second review
Introduction
- Canadian recording artist Celine Dion, released by - end sentence with Dion start new one with Released by and merge it with the next sentence.
- It follows, it doesn't follow, it maybe the follow-up or it maybe the successor?
- The information about language seems a bit messy, prose is a bit off. Try and rephrase!
- as well as rare tracks... Why are they rare, where do they come from? More info!
- and one new - and a new
- Dion wrote that she would like to dedicate this collection of songs to all her fans who supported her throughout the years. Rephrase it sounds messy.
- recoreded - mistake.
- Generally the whole second section is too complicated, again explain why they are rare, and you have a sentence about content in the first para, you need to merge these to make it more fluent.
- My Love: Essential Collection received generally positive reception. Critics noted that it doubles many things about the initial collection, All the Way... A Decade of Song: it covers two decades instead of one, has two discs and twice as many songs included. - This sentence makes no sense, critics, you've listed one! Generally, once again only one review!
- as well as the compilations chart - compilation album chart.
- In other important music markets around the globe - cleanup, remove this line for sure.
- The rest of the paragraph is messy, "promoted", dont say that just info about the singles.
- It was certified Gold, Platinum and Multi-Platinum in various countries - Too general! Remove it anyhow and try and find overall sales!
Infobox
- Try and cut down the producer lists, you dont need to list everyone, just prominent ones!
- The alternative cover, it isnt needed the whole point of an alternative cover is if it is different to the original, it gives nothing more to the article and it is too similar!
- Wikipedia states, "For an article about an album, the cover artwork is arguably one of the most important images that could be included. This is the artwork, intended by Sony Music Entertainment for wide distribution. As such, it has future historical significance, and is a more appropriate choice than any other image available."
- CD 1 and CD 2 - Disc One, Disc Two.
Background
- In first single change Celine Dion to Dion
- Generally it needs a cleanup, prose isnt great examples; since needs to be changed to in.
Overall I am going to give you time to redo the items listed, it needs a lot of work, you absolutely need to read through it carefully and if it sounds odd change it, a lot of the prose is blocky and difficult to understand. But I have to commend you for revamping it like this in the time given! It is much better but not quite GA at the moment -- FeuDeJoie ( talk) 21:16, 20 August 2011 (UTC)
- Done,
- I must add that there is no info about the total sales of the album, just the first week sales in the US, UK and Canada. It seems not many people care about this album. Max24 ( talk) 11:44, 21 August 2011 (UTC)
It is a LOT better but here are a few things...
- Dion has already sold over - Dion had...
- Take out the comma before worldwide.
- It is a bit blocky and confusing reading about the editions in the intro, could you maybe shorten it and make it a bit more basic?
- received generally positive reception - Change to a positive response.
- which has become a show-stopper - I dont get it?
Background
- I have to say it is much better...
Content and re-issue
- I get the number ones listing but what is the significance in writing about random tracks, you could say that the album features songs not released on a Celine Dion record?
Reception
- Critical reception is very good actually!
- In Commercial reception you say "and" a bit, try and rephrase some of it.
- Flandres - Spelling?
- peaked inside top ten - inside the...
- Other than listed above it is actually well-written.
- in this decade - I know it sounds odd but you should really clarify the decade.
- My Love: Essential Collection contains the original version of the song. - remove this.
- recording sessions for "There Comes a Time" - for the song...
Overall It is a vast improvement but still needs some work! -- FeuDeJoie ( talk) 14:19, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
Continued
Intro
- Still reads quite oddly, phrases such as "biggest hits like" need to be removed. Generally it can be cut down a bit, aim for maybe two paragraphs, it absolutely lists too many individual songs and you don't need to completely remove About.com's critical opinion, just say something like; Feedback stated "blah blah blah".
Background
- had been seen - changed to viewed
- two different formats: -- formats;
- and the track listing - with the...
- The new live version of "My Love" featured - You need to say that the original studio version was from Taking Chances
- release on September 22, 2008. "My Love" music video --merge sentences
Artwork
- in a positive light: "Out - Positively;
Content and re-issue
- US top ten hits: --- hits;
- Honestly the whole section is messy and not needed! Heavily edit the section and then merge into the Background section!
Critical reception
- After (1999) put a comma
- I dont understand why you written again about the content, "All the Way... A Decade of Song included seven new songs and only nine singles form the past. My Love: Ultimate Essential Collection doubles almost everything about the initial compilation: it covers two decades instead of one, has two discs, not one, and falls just short of having the double the songs." - Remove it all.
Chart performance
- Needs to be changed to Commercial reception, maybe you could merge the two critical and chart reception sections into a larger Reception section?
- Merge the first two Canadian sales sentences
- Generally this is my favorite section, it reads much better but some sentences are too short, you could do with merging them!
Singles
- You really need to merge more sections in this also, you need to find better connectives.
- Honestly it reads quite well also, but it is the matter of stumpy sentences which makes parts difficult to understand!
- Remove the final sentence!
Promotion
- The second paragraph is all about the individual live performance and needs to be cut down a lot!
- Really the whole section needs a heavy copyedit, it is blocky and has useless information, once again SHORT SENTENCES! It has a lot of background information on the Oprah performance, it is difficult to understand rephrase or delete!
- The Grammy Awards info definitely needs to be removed!
Credits and personnel
- This needs to be heavily edited, it is a huge list! Cut it down A LOT.
References
- Is there anymore info on the celinedion.com references, dates, names?
Overall It is a slight improvement but you do need to read through it thoroughly and try and improve it further. A lot of the content is useless and sentences are sometimes too short. I do like the Charts, and chart performance part and you have done a good improvement just keep working at it! -- FeuDeJoie ( talk) 19:22, 21 August 2011 (UTC)
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| Reviewing |
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visual edit |
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Article talk (
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Reviewer: FeuDeJoie ( talk) 22:22, 13 August 2011 (UTC)
Okay so here I go;
Is the article... Well written
- Really it's not, the introduction is too small, the article lacks depth, information, prose and grammar.
Factually accurate
- Generally yes, but some sentences aren't referenced, and there isn't a lot of facts to be accurate.
Broad in it's coverage
- Absolutely not, there is no concept, a very small critical reception section and there isn't even any personnel information, which is vital.
Neutral
- Yes, but cannot emphasis how much these needs expansion!
Stable
- Yes.
Overall, Before I start reviewing this article more thoroughly, you need to look through it yourself, there are spelling and grammar mistakes but mostly you need to expand this majorly, it has a lot of one sentence statements which need to be joined to a paragraph! I am placing this article on hold for seven days, in which time I will look back at any additions, review that and if I think it is suitable, I will give it another week on hold to review what I hope will be a very expanded article - -- FeuDeJoie ( talk) 22:32, 13 August 2011 (UTC)
- Hi,
- the article has changed a lot since last week :) I would like to add one thing about the reviews: I've searched the whole web and the only professional review I could find is the one from Allmusic. There is absolutely no other. Max24 ( talk) 20:23, 20 August 2011 (UTC)
Second review
Introduction
- Canadian recording artist Celine Dion, released by - end sentence with Dion start new one with Released by and merge it with the next sentence.
- It follows, it doesn't follow, it maybe the follow-up or it maybe the successor?
- The information about language seems a bit messy, prose is a bit off. Try and rephrase!
- as well as rare tracks... Why are they rare, where do they come from? More info!
- and one new - and a new
- Dion wrote that she would like to dedicate this collection of songs to all her fans who supported her throughout the years. Rephrase it sounds messy.
- recoreded - mistake.
- Generally the whole second section is too complicated, again explain why they are rare, and you have a sentence about content in the first para, you need to merge these to make it more fluent.
- My Love: Essential Collection received generally positive reception. Critics noted that it doubles many things about the initial collection, All the Way... A Decade of Song: it covers two decades instead of one, has two discs and twice as many songs included. - This sentence makes no sense, critics, you've listed one! Generally, once again only one review!
- as well as the compilations chart - compilation album chart.
- In other important music markets around the globe - cleanup, remove this line for sure.
- The rest of the paragraph is messy, "promoted", dont say that just info about the singles.
- It was certified Gold, Platinum and Multi-Platinum in various countries - Too general! Remove it anyhow and try and find overall sales!
Infobox
- Try and cut down the producer lists, you dont need to list everyone, just prominent ones!
- The alternative cover, it isnt needed the whole point of an alternative cover is if it is different to the original, it gives nothing more to the article and it is too similar!
- Wikipedia states, "For an article about an album, the cover artwork is arguably one of the most important images that could be included. This is the artwork, intended by Sony Music Entertainment for wide distribution. As such, it has future historical significance, and is a more appropriate choice than any other image available."
- CD 1 and CD 2 - Disc One, Disc Two.
Background
- In first single change Celine Dion to Dion
- Generally it needs a cleanup, prose isnt great examples; since needs to be changed to in.
Overall I am going to give you time to redo the items listed, it needs a lot of work, you absolutely need to read through it carefully and if it sounds odd change it, a lot of the prose is blocky and difficult to understand. But I have to commend you for revamping it like this in the time given! It is much better but not quite GA at the moment -- FeuDeJoie ( talk) 21:16, 20 August 2011 (UTC)
- Done,
- I must add that there is no info about the total sales of the album, just the first week sales in the US, UK and Canada. It seems not many people care about this album. Max24 ( talk) 11:44, 21 August 2011 (UTC)
It is a LOT better but here are a few things...
- Dion has already sold over - Dion had...
- Take out the comma before worldwide.
- It is a bit blocky and confusing reading about the editions in the intro, could you maybe shorten it and make it a bit more basic?
- received generally positive reception - Change to a positive response.
- which has become a show-stopper - I dont get it?
Background
- I have to say it is much better...
Content and re-issue
- I get the number ones listing but what is the significance in writing about random tracks, you could say that the album features songs not released on a Celine Dion record?
Reception
- Critical reception is very good actually!
- In Commercial reception you say "and" a bit, try and rephrase some of it.
- Flandres - Spelling?
- peaked inside top ten - inside the...
- Other than listed above it is actually well-written.
- in this decade - I know it sounds odd but you should really clarify the decade.
- My Love: Essential Collection contains the original version of the song. - remove this.
- recording sessions for "There Comes a Time" - for the song...
Overall It is a vast improvement but still needs some work! -- FeuDeJoie ( talk) 14:19, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
Continued
Intro
- Still reads quite oddly, phrases such as "biggest hits like" need to be removed. Generally it can be cut down a bit, aim for maybe two paragraphs, it absolutely lists too many individual songs and you don't need to completely remove About.com's critical opinion, just say something like; Feedback stated "blah blah blah".
Background
- had been seen - changed to viewed
- two different formats: -- formats;
- and the track listing - with the...
- The new live version of "My Love" featured - You need to say that the original studio version was from Taking Chances
- release on September 22, 2008. "My Love" music video --merge sentences
Artwork
- in a positive light: "Out - Positively;
Content and re-issue
- US top ten hits: --- hits;
- Honestly the whole section is messy and not needed! Heavily edit the section and then merge into the Background section!
Critical reception
- After (1999) put a comma
- I dont understand why you written again about the content, "All the Way... A Decade of Song included seven new songs and only nine singles form the past. My Love: Ultimate Essential Collection doubles almost everything about the initial compilation: it covers two decades instead of one, has two discs, not one, and falls just short of having the double the songs." - Remove it all.
Chart performance
- Needs to be changed to Commercial reception, maybe you could merge the two critical and chart reception sections into a larger Reception section?
- Merge the first two Canadian sales sentences
- Generally this is my favorite section, it reads much better but some sentences are too short, you could do with merging them!
Singles
- You really need to merge more sections in this also, you need to find better connectives.
- Honestly it reads quite well also, but it is the matter of stumpy sentences which makes parts difficult to understand!
- Remove the final sentence!
Promotion
- The second paragraph is all about the individual live performance and needs to be cut down a lot!
- Really the whole section needs a heavy copyedit, it is blocky and has useless information, once again SHORT SENTENCES! It has a lot of background information on the Oprah performance, it is difficult to understand rephrase or delete!
- The Grammy Awards info definitely needs to be removed!
Credits and personnel
- This needs to be heavily edited, it is a huge list! Cut it down A LOT.
References
- Is there anymore info on the celinedion.com references, dates, names?
Overall It is a slight improvement but you do need to read through it thoroughly and try and improve it further. A lot of the content is useless and sentences are sometimes too short. I do like the Charts, and chart performance part and you have done a good improvement just keep working at it! -- FeuDeJoie ( talk) 19:22, 21 August 2011 (UTC)