Many of the issues from
Talk:McLaren/GA1 have been addressed. Certainly the last three seem to have been addressed. I will evaluate the indented bullets as the review progresses (as I read the rest of the prose). The issues from those bullets were as follows:--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:WAWARD) 20:52, 8 September 2013 (UTC)reply
The article is almost wholly concerned with the results of the racing team. It does not discuss things such as
Budget
Structure of the team and roles of the technical staff in the team, especially as the engineering is bigger component of the success than any driver can be these days
Team politics, whether drivers are allowed to race freely etc
Information about the team's factory, research facilities, wind-tunnel, supercomputers etc, staff
Fan following/merchandise etc
If this trades publicly, why don't you include exchange and ticker symbol in the
WP:LEAD and infobox information like most corporations.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 20:47, 8 September 2013 (UTC)reply
I am of reasonable intelligence and do not know where or what surrey is. I am guessing by its placement in the sentence it is a county/province, but please link this municipality.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 06:22, 11 September 2013 (UTC)reply
With the statement that they last won in 2008, I am left to wonder how active they are. Would it be difficult to maintain something like in the last completed season, the team won x races? Saying you have not won a series in 5 years makes it difficult for a reader to assess the current state of the operation.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 06:22, 11 September 2013 (UTC)reply
Origins
Aren't there links for types of engines such as 1.5-litre Formula One-specification engines instead of the 2.5-litre motors?--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 06:22, 11 September 2013 (UTC)reply
1960s
'C' version on the M7 seems like it should have its own article or at least be named M7C or be described as the C version of the M7A.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 06:42, 11 September 2013 (UTC)reply
"test driver Pedro de la Rosa deputised for the remainder of the season." seems to need a verb.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 05:18, 18 September 2013 (UTC)reply
What is the Can-Am Series? If this thing is important enough to have its own section, you should provide a link like the one in the caption to the right.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 07:35, 23 September 2013 (UTC)reply
"The following year Robin Herd purpose-designed the Chevrolet V8 powered M6A, delays with the Formula One programme allowing the team to spend extra resources on developing the Can-Am car which was the first to be painted in McLaren orange." seems ungrammatical. Maybe runon.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 07:35, 23 September 2013 (UTC)reply
Several
WP:CAPTIONs seem to be ungrammatical in the sense that phrases that are not complete sentences have periods tacked on to the end as if they are complete sentences. You need to rephrase a lot of your CAPTIONs.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 01:06, 28 September 2013 (UTC)reply
I am
failing this due to the lengthy list of issues above in addition to the largely unresolved breadth issues stemming from the prior review (mentioned at the top of this review).--
TonyTheTiger (
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C /
WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 03:36, 29 September 2013 (UTC)reply
Many of the issues from
Talk:McLaren/GA1 have been addressed. Certainly the last three seem to have been addressed. I will evaluate the indented bullets as the review progresses (as I read the rest of the prose). The issues from those bullets were as follows:--
TonyTheTiger (
T /
C /
WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 20:52, 8 September 2013 (UTC)reply
The article is almost wholly concerned with the results of the racing team. It does not discuss things such as
Budget
Structure of the team and roles of the technical staff in the team, especially as the engineering is bigger component of the success than any driver can be these days
Team politics, whether drivers are allowed to race freely etc
Information about the team's factory, research facilities, wind-tunnel, supercomputers etc, staff
Fan following/merchandise etc
If this trades publicly, why don't you include exchange and ticker symbol in the
WP:LEAD and infobox information like most corporations.--
TonyTheTiger (
T /
C /
WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 20:47, 8 September 2013 (UTC)reply
I am of reasonable intelligence and do not know where or what surrey is. I am guessing by its placement in the sentence it is a county/province, but please link this municipality.--
TonyTheTiger (
T /
C /
WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 06:22, 11 September 2013 (UTC)reply
With the statement that they last won in 2008, I am left to wonder how active they are. Would it be difficult to maintain something like in the last completed season, the team won x races? Saying you have not won a series in 5 years makes it difficult for a reader to assess the current state of the operation.--
TonyTheTiger (
T /
C /
WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 06:22, 11 September 2013 (UTC)reply
Origins
Aren't there links for types of engines such as 1.5-litre Formula One-specification engines instead of the 2.5-litre motors?--
TonyTheTiger (
T /
C /
WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 06:22, 11 September 2013 (UTC)reply
1960s
'C' version on the M7 seems like it should have its own article or at least be named M7C or be described as the C version of the M7A.--
TonyTheTiger (
T /
C /
WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 06:42, 11 September 2013 (UTC)reply
"test driver Pedro de la Rosa deputised for the remainder of the season." seems to need a verb.--
TonyTheTiger (
T /
C /
WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 05:18, 18 September 2013 (UTC)reply
What is the Can-Am Series? If this thing is important enough to have its own section, you should provide a link like the one in the caption to the right.--
TonyTheTiger (
T /
C /
WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 07:35, 23 September 2013 (UTC)reply
"The following year Robin Herd purpose-designed the Chevrolet V8 powered M6A, delays with the Formula One programme allowing the team to spend extra resources on developing the Can-Am car which was the first to be painted in McLaren orange." seems ungrammatical. Maybe runon.--
TonyTheTiger (
T /
C /
WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 07:35, 23 September 2013 (UTC)reply
Several
WP:CAPTIONs seem to be ungrammatical in the sense that phrases that are not complete sentences have periods tacked on to the end as if they are complete sentences. You need to rephrase a lot of your CAPTIONs.--
TonyTheTiger (
T /
C /
WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 01:06, 28 September 2013 (UTC)reply
I am
failing this due to the lengthy list of issues above in addition to the largely unresolved breadth issues stemming from the prior review (mentioned at the top of this review).--
TonyTheTiger (
T /
C /
WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD) 03:36, 29 September 2013 (UTC)reply