Her regency ended in 1680 but she maintained power for some four years when her son banished her from further influence in the state. Unclear, surely "she maintained power for some four years until her son ..."Y
cadet branch needs explanation Not done
Poorly punctuated throughout. I have inserted a number of necessary commas and apostrophes, e.g. husbands" should be "husband's". I shall leave the rest to you.Not done
Officially engaged to Charles on 4 February 1662 the match was a popular one and had the backing of Queen Anne (mother of Louis XIV). Unclear, please rephrase for clarity.
Despite Charles Emmanuel II showing a clear liking fto Marie Jeanne, Christine Marie had been warned of by
Cardinal Mazarin of her ambitious and volatile nature prior to arrival causing nothing to be discussed further. Again unclear, very poor grammar.
However, two days later the Treaty of Montmarte was signed, forcing Lorraine and
Bar to go to Louis XIV. Surely
Monmartre? Bar is this
Bar-le-Duc? Rephrase for clarity - "forcing...to go", is very poor.
References should be after punctuation, not before, I have done the first two paragraphs, but leave the rest to you.Not done
Not fully done.
The lead does not fully summarise the article. See
WP:LEAD.Not done
The more I look at this, the more I am convinced that the prose throughout needs a thorough copy-edit.
OK, sort out the missing citations, and the punctuation. On Hold for seven days.
Still needs more copy-editing, I have pointed out some more examples, but really it is all rather clunky and in parts not very clear at all. In addition several points remain un-addressed.
Jezhotwells (
talk)
16:43, 22 October 2010 (UTC)reply
Her regency ended in 1680 but she maintained power for some four years when her son banished her from further influence in the state. Unclear, surely "she maintained power for some four years until her son ..."Y
cadet branch needs explanation Not done
Poorly punctuated throughout. I have inserted a number of necessary commas and apostrophes, e.g. husbands" should be "husband's". I shall leave the rest to you.Not done
Officially engaged to Charles on 4 February 1662 the match was a popular one and had the backing of Queen Anne (mother of Louis XIV). Unclear, please rephrase for clarity.
Despite Charles Emmanuel II showing a clear liking fto Marie Jeanne, Christine Marie had been warned of by
Cardinal Mazarin of her ambitious and volatile nature prior to arrival causing nothing to be discussed further. Again unclear, very poor grammar.
However, two days later the Treaty of Montmarte was signed, forcing Lorraine and
Bar to go to Louis XIV. Surely
Monmartre? Bar is this
Bar-le-Duc? Rephrase for clarity - "forcing...to go", is very poor.
References should be after punctuation, not before, I have done the first two paragraphs, but leave the rest to you.Not done
Not fully done.
The lead does not fully summarise the article. See
WP:LEAD.Not done
The more I look at this, the more I am convinced that the prose throughout needs a thorough copy-edit.
OK, sort out the missing citations, and the punctuation. On Hold for seven days.
Still needs more copy-editing, I have pointed out some more examples, but really it is all rather clunky and in parts not very clear at all. In addition several points remain un-addressed.
Jezhotwells (
talk)
16:43, 22 October 2010 (UTC)reply