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TonyBallioni:I am now starting this review. Thank you for the time you have put into this article and your work towards expanding Wikipedia’s quality content. I will add my comments into each of the following sections.
DoctorG (talk)19:02, 24 September 2017 (UTC)reply
GA review (see
here for what the criteria are, and
here for what they are not)
Just a few thoughts here that I think will make the prose a little smoother. I think you should rework the last 2 sentences in the first paragraph of the “cutivereni mission” section. Maybe something like…. The Asháninka hunted animals, farmed manioc and other foods… The wording of the 4th sentence in the 2nd paragraph of the “internal conflict in peru” section is a little redundant. I suggest you change the last few words to “burned it down” or something similar. In the “later years” section, I think you should reword the nomination piece to something like… “he was nominated for an award by Father Eduardo Arens, which he received on May…”
@
TonyBallioni:I am now starting this review. Thank you for the time you have put into this article and your work towards expanding Wikipedia’s quality content. I will add my comments into each of the following sections.
DoctorG (talk)19:02, 24 September 2017 (UTC)reply
GA review (see
here for what the criteria are, and
here for what they are not)
Just a few thoughts here that I think will make the prose a little smoother. I think you should rework the last 2 sentences in the first paragraph of the “cutivereni mission” section. Maybe something like…. The Asháninka hunted animals, farmed manioc and other foods… The wording of the 4th sentence in the 2nd paragraph of the “internal conflict in peru” section is a little redundant. I suggest you change the last few words to “burned it down” or something similar. In the “later years” section, I think you should reword the nomination piece to something like… “he was nominated for an award by Father Eduardo Arens, which he received on May…”