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Hey guys,
So here are a few things I could see to help improve the page:
1.) I'm guessing the section above the table of contents where the double brackets are is going to be an introduction?
2.) Second sentence of Lynn Headwaters Regional Park: I rearrange the sentence to say "..there are many trails with varying difficulty including easy,..." -> I just felt like the sentence didnt introduce the idea of difficulty. This is minor though.
3.) The BC Mills House part is very casual. For example what are the exact dates it is open? And expansion on what the BC Mills House has to offer might be cool. This site has some more info. http://www.lynnvalleylife.com/blog/b-c-mills-house-the-past-in-our-park/
4.) I would put the safety section last and have the trails first
5.) In the overview section (Lynn Valley loop) there is a reference in the middle of one of the sentences. I believe they should be at the end.
6.) "slightly vigorous leisurely walk" sounds weird. Vigorous and leisurely are pretty opposite. I get what you're trying to say, that the distance makes it slightly vigorous but the walk is not that hard. It just needs rewording.
7.) The Access section of Lynn Valley Loop reads a little too much like a set of instructions, especially the first two sentences. The sentence with "As you walk over the bridge and past the rushing water..." You don't need the 'and' in that portion.
8.) The Names of the sections "Car" and "public transit" should be renamed with something like "getting there by car" for example.
9.) In the public transit section (Lynn Valley loop) the second sentence should read "This require you to walk down THE hill..." Missing THE.
10.)Also, No need for sentence that says "Board the bus" in the public transit section.
11.) Is the Granville station bus the only route to get there. How about Fibb's Exchange and other bus routes that would allow people from say burnaby to get to the trails? Try and include as much as you can there.
12.) Both the Lynn Peak Trail & Rice Lake look as though they aren't finished. Be sure to include lots of info for these including how long the trails are etc.
Looks good guys!
Geoffreymckendry2243 ( talk) 17:46, 25 March 2014 (UTC)
Lynn Headwaters Regional Park: - Comma between North Vancouver and BC.
- Maybe re-arrange the BC Mills house sentence I was like what is that? You could try “at the entrance to Lynn Headwaters Regional Park is the BC Mills house, open only during the summer months, it offers visitors information on the park history, logging practices, and natural history.”
Safety: - Be more neutral here. Instead of saying the “park makes efforts to ensure hikers…” maybe say “ At the park there are many signs and safety regulations/ updates around to ensure safety for hikers”.
- The getting lost section for me doesn’t really have relevance to the article as a whole maybe make it smaller or use it as an example of what the park might post in order for people to remain safe.
Trails:
I like the idea of this section but I think it is very specific who are in the area and you may not be considering all the people from different provinces, countries etc. that will be looking at the page.
-It would be better if you include the Car and Public Transit sub-sections in a different area perhaps right after Trails before you take about the actual trails.
Overall I really liked this, definitely going hiking there but again it seemed specific to local readers. Maybe put in a section about the vegetation or wildlife one may encounter at the park. But I really enjoyed your use of pictures.
Acfredrikson ( talk) 21:20, 20 March 2014 (UTC)
This was a good article! It was nice to see some of the key trails of the park. Here are some suggestions to make this article a little bit better:
Hope that helped. Nice job!
Cheers,
Abhic93 ( talk) 05:20, 23 March 2014 (UTC)
Hello, There were lots of good things about this page. Lots of handy information and the writing was clear. I think though, there could have been a few more comma's in the Access part. Or perhaps some sentences could be rearranged. The layout of the page would look nicer if you could move the first paragraph up so that it could be between the picture and the table of contents. There are instructions in have to do that in the "help: editing" section. The code for that is either <TABLEFT> OR <TABRIGHT>. I can't remember exactly but whatever the code is, it will move your contents box around so that it can be next to the writing in the first paragraph. Also, in order to do that, you may have to remove the first paragraphs heading. It won't show up in the table of contents, but it should be ok because, I take it, that the heading will be the same name of your Wikipedia page...?
One other thing. I think it would be easier to read if the Lynn Loop, Lynn Peak, and Rice Trail (not sure if I have the proper names) were all together in sequence - one after another. And then after that you could put the part of access to the park, car, transit, etc.
Hope this helps! Great page by the way. I liked all of the info on safety and how to get there. I think this would be a great resource for someone wanting to do the hikes/walks there. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Robyn001 ( talk • contribs) 03:26, 25 March 2014 (UTC)
This page is very interesting and I like the photos, but I think it needs more work:
With these improvement this page will make a great contribution to Wikipedia and getting people out to hike in the park!!
RuthVancouver ( talk) 21:55, 27 March 2014 (UTC)
The advice from your peer reviewers is excellent. You should incorporate it when you make your revisions.
![]() | This article is rated Start-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | ||||||||||||||||||||
|
Hey guys,
So here are a few things I could see to help improve the page:
1.) I'm guessing the section above the table of contents where the double brackets are is going to be an introduction?
2.) Second sentence of Lynn Headwaters Regional Park: I rearrange the sentence to say "..there are many trails with varying difficulty including easy,..." -> I just felt like the sentence didnt introduce the idea of difficulty. This is minor though.
3.) The BC Mills House part is very casual. For example what are the exact dates it is open? And expansion on what the BC Mills House has to offer might be cool. This site has some more info. http://www.lynnvalleylife.com/blog/b-c-mills-house-the-past-in-our-park/
4.) I would put the safety section last and have the trails first
5.) In the overview section (Lynn Valley loop) there is a reference in the middle of one of the sentences. I believe they should be at the end.
6.) "slightly vigorous leisurely walk" sounds weird. Vigorous and leisurely are pretty opposite. I get what you're trying to say, that the distance makes it slightly vigorous but the walk is not that hard. It just needs rewording.
7.) The Access section of Lynn Valley Loop reads a little too much like a set of instructions, especially the first two sentences. The sentence with "As you walk over the bridge and past the rushing water..." You don't need the 'and' in that portion.
8.) The Names of the sections "Car" and "public transit" should be renamed with something like "getting there by car" for example.
9.) In the public transit section (Lynn Valley loop) the second sentence should read "This require you to walk down THE hill..." Missing THE.
10.)Also, No need for sentence that says "Board the bus" in the public transit section.
11.) Is the Granville station bus the only route to get there. How about Fibb's Exchange and other bus routes that would allow people from say burnaby to get to the trails? Try and include as much as you can there.
12.) Both the Lynn Peak Trail & Rice Lake look as though they aren't finished. Be sure to include lots of info for these including how long the trails are etc.
Looks good guys!
Geoffreymckendry2243 ( talk) 17:46, 25 March 2014 (UTC)
Lynn Headwaters Regional Park: - Comma between North Vancouver and BC.
- Maybe re-arrange the BC Mills house sentence I was like what is that? You could try “at the entrance to Lynn Headwaters Regional Park is the BC Mills house, open only during the summer months, it offers visitors information on the park history, logging practices, and natural history.”
Safety: - Be more neutral here. Instead of saying the “park makes efforts to ensure hikers…” maybe say “ At the park there are many signs and safety regulations/ updates around to ensure safety for hikers”.
- The getting lost section for me doesn’t really have relevance to the article as a whole maybe make it smaller or use it as an example of what the park might post in order for people to remain safe.
Trails:
I like the idea of this section but I think it is very specific who are in the area and you may not be considering all the people from different provinces, countries etc. that will be looking at the page.
-It would be better if you include the Car and Public Transit sub-sections in a different area perhaps right after Trails before you take about the actual trails.
Overall I really liked this, definitely going hiking there but again it seemed specific to local readers. Maybe put in a section about the vegetation or wildlife one may encounter at the park. But I really enjoyed your use of pictures.
Acfredrikson ( talk) 21:20, 20 March 2014 (UTC)
This was a good article! It was nice to see some of the key trails of the park. Here are some suggestions to make this article a little bit better:
Hope that helped. Nice job!
Cheers,
Abhic93 ( talk) 05:20, 23 March 2014 (UTC)
Hello, There were lots of good things about this page. Lots of handy information and the writing was clear. I think though, there could have been a few more comma's in the Access part. Or perhaps some sentences could be rearranged. The layout of the page would look nicer if you could move the first paragraph up so that it could be between the picture and the table of contents. There are instructions in have to do that in the "help: editing" section. The code for that is either <TABLEFT> OR <TABRIGHT>. I can't remember exactly but whatever the code is, it will move your contents box around so that it can be next to the writing in the first paragraph. Also, in order to do that, you may have to remove the first paragraphs heading. It won't show up in the table of contents, but it should be ok because, I take it, that the heading will be the same name of your Wikipedia page...?
One other thing. I think it would be easier to read if the Lynn Loop, Lynn Peak, and Rice Trail (not sure if I have the proper names) were all together in sequence - one after another. And then after that you could put the part of access to the park, car, transit, etc.
Hope this helps! Great page by the way. I liked all of the info on safety and how to get there. I think this would be a great resource for someone wanting to do the hikes/walks there. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Robyn001 ( talk • contribs) 03:26, 25 March 2014 (UTC)
This page is very interesting and I like the photos, but I think it needs more work:
With these improvement this page will make a great contribution to Wikipedia and getting people out to hike in the park!!
RuthVancouver ( talk) 21:55, 27 March 2014 (UTC)
The advice from your peer reviewers is excellent. You should incorporate it when you make your revisions.