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Reviewer: J Milburn ( talk · contribs) 23:06, 23 January 2012 (UTC)
Third time lucky? Review to follow soon. J Milburn ( talk) 23:06, 23 January 2012 (UTC)
- " "Lost in the World" was initially released on September 29 and was over 6 minutes long, but the version on the album was was split up, becoming a new track entitled "Who Will Survive in America"." Do you mean to say that what was originally one song became two, or that the album version had a different name to the original?
- "fellow GOOD Music lablemate" Someone can't be a "fellow labelmate"- they are either a "GOOD Music labelmate" or "a fellow GOOD Music artist".
- It feels like there is a little overlinking. Sampling, music critics, music festival... Probably others. Something to be aware of.
- "Rolling Stone, who reported the event, wrote "in an unorthodox move" Avoid personification of publications. Rolling Stone didn't write anything; Daniel Kreps (who you mistakely call Daniels Kreps) wrote that.
- When and where was this song recorded?
- "I wanted to say to this girl" What's he talking about?
- "coda"?
- "a blunt, surrealist piece delivered by Scott-Heron in spoken word about the African-American experience and the fated idealism of the American dream." Where does the cited source say this?
- The sample is too long. Per the non-free content guidelines, it should not be more than 10% of the song length; that is, 25 seconds. Also, the quality's too high. Please reduce it to 64kbps, and add a more useful rationale than the one currently given.
- " Slant Magazine commented" Again, over-personification
- "nearly as accomplished—and equally as obsessed with the vocoder—" As what? What's the track being compared to?
- References-
- MTV shouldn't be italicised.
- Be consistent with when you do and don't link.
- Be consistent as to whether you give Viacom as the publisher of MTV.
- Allmusic, not All Music.
- What's Neon Limelight- definitely reliable?
- Be consistent with how you format dates.
- Missing full stop on ref 16.
- NYT should be italicised
- Garbled link on 21
- Italicise Rolling Stone
- Block capital titles are not good
- Idolator? Reliable? Italics needed?
- Category:2011 singles- it wasn't a single?
- "Justin Vernon's vocals received positive reviews in "Lost in the World."" Needs rephrasing
Not a bad article, but there are some issues. J Milburn ( talk) 23:38, 23 January 2012 (UTC)
Ok, you've had two weeks almost to the minute to fix these issues, and there have been no edits to the article since my own. As such, I am going to have to close this review at this time. As I say, it's not like the article is terrible, and so once you've fixed up these issues, I recommend that you renominate. If you are looking for a quick review next time around, you're welcome to contact me, but I can't promise that I will be able to find the time. J Milburn ( talk) 23:27, 6 February 2012 (UTC)
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Reviewer: J Milburn ( talk · contribs) 23:06, 23 January 2012 (UTC)
Third time lucky? Review to follow soon. J Milburn ( talk) 23:06, 23 January 2012 (UTC)
- " "Lost in the World" was initially released on September 29 and was over 6 minutes long, but the version on the album was was split up, becoming a new track entitled "Who Will Survive in America"." Do you mean to say that what was originally one song became two, or that the album version had a different name to the original?
- "fellow GOOD Music lablemate" Someone can't be a "fellow labelmate"- they are either a "GOOD Music labelmate" or "a fellow GOOD Music artist".
- It feels like there is a little overlinking. Sampling, music critics, music festival... Probably others. Something to be aware of.
- "Rolling Stone, who reported the event, wrote "in an unorthodox move" Avoid personification of publications. Rolling Stone didn't write anything; Daniel Kreps (who you mistakely call Daniels Kreps) wrote that.
- When and where was this song recorded?
- "I wanted to say to this girl" What's he talking about?
- "coda"?
- "a blunt, surrealist piece delivered by Scott-Heron in spoken word about the African-American experience and the fated idealism of the American dream." Where does the cited source say this?
- The sample is too long. Per the non-free content guidelines, it should not be more than 10% of the song length; that is, 25 seconds. Also, the quality's too high. Please reduce it to 64kbps, and add a more useful rationale than the one currently given.
- " Slant Magazine commented" Again, over-personification
- "nearly as accomplished—and equally as obsessed with the vocoder—" As what? What's the track being compared to?
- References-
- MTV shouldn't be italicised.
- Be consistent with when you do and don't link.
- Be consistent as to whether you give Viacom as the publisher of MTV.
- Allmusic, not All Music.
- What's Neon Limelight- definitely reliable?
- Be consistent with how you format dates.
- Missing full stop on ref 16.
- NYT should be italicised
- Garbled link on 21
- Italicise Rolling Stone
- Block capital titles are not good
- Idolator? Reliable? Italics needed?
- Category:2011 singles- it wasn't a single?
- "Justin Vernon's vocals received positive reviews in "Lost in the World."" Needs rephrasing
Not a bad article, but there are some issues. J Milburn ( talk) 23:38, 23 January 2012 (UTC)
Ok, you've had two weeks almost to the minute to fix these issues, and there have been no edits to the article since my own. As such, I am going to have to close this review at this time. As I say, it's not like the article is terrible, and so once you've fixed up these issues, I recommend that you renominate. If you are looking for a quick review next time around, you're welcome to contact me, but I can't promise that I will be able to find the time. J Milburn ( talk) 23:27, 6 February 2012 (UTC)