Since it didn't just happen in the novel, but assuming-ly applies to the TV series as well, I would state "According to the 2001 novel..." instead of "In the 2001 novel..."
If I only bothered to read the next statement before writing that lol
The final statement in the first paragraph does not have any sources
First two sentences of the second paragraph should be combined via a semi-colon since they share the same source
I'd remove the "/DirecTV" mention since they had not affiliation with them when the series originally came out
I'd maybe explain Rodney Van Johnson's connection to the show when you introduce him and his opinion
Characterization
Absolutely nothing! :)
Storylines
Lineage and personality
Just preference, but I would introduce Julian Crane with his job, title, or position, such as if he was a businessman, I'd say "... a relationship with businessman Julian Crane..." or he was a doctor, I'd say "... a relationship with doctor Julian Crane..."
The statement "Alistair Crane raped Liz in Julian's apartment while he was passed out in a drunken stupor in the same room" is unclear on who the "he" was in the situation; was Alistair the one passed out or was Julian the one passed out?
Last sentence has not source
2001–02: Early appearances
I don't know if you need to mention that Kelli McCarty played Beth Wallace since you didn't mention who played Brian O'Leary, which would be Christopher Douglas by the way...
Rest is really, really good! :)
2002–06: Revenge against Eve and Alistair
Change to "In 2002, Liz returns to Harmony in response to a telephone call from Diana; she tells Liz about her true identity as Sheridan, her engagement to Luis, and Antonio's terminal illness.[19]" please; in this case it would be clear who the "she" is since Liz immediately follows the mention of the supposed "she"
Same thing with the mention of Rodney Van Johnson playing T. C. Russell
What happens to Liz after she "accidentally drinks poisoned punch"?
I don't know, but I guess after reading ""You are going to make love to me, or I'll kill you" and then stabs him in the back when he does not comply.", I expected that Julian was now dead, but his continually mention in the article proves otherwise. I haven't watched the show that much, so could you clear this up to prevent further confusion?
The last two sentences in this section needs some reliable references to confirm what they're stating
Removed the sentences as there was not way to source and they bordered on speculation either way.
Reception
Paragraph 1
I think the first two paragraphs could be combined. Just remove the double-enter in between them.
Paragraph 2
Nothing but the note I mentioned above... ;)
Paragraph 3
Anything else you could bring up or discuss "regarding the slashing of the soap opera's budget by "a reported $4-to-$5 million" to secure its renewal."?
I added some clarification. Let me know if more is needed.
Paragraph 4
Nada
References
All of the references should be in a consistent format, and given the language of the article, they should be in Month Day, Year format; please change them the ones needing attention accordingly
I apologize for this. I was not familiar with the date formats when I first did work on here so I messed up a lot with this.
Aoba47 (
talk)
23:09, 3 June 2016 (UTC)reply
End of GA Review:
What a very well-written article! Like standard procedure, I will be placing the article on hold for seven days! Great work again Aoba47!
Carbrera (
talk)
21:23, 3 June 2016 (UTC)reply
@
Carbrera: Thank you very much! This is one of the first articles that I heavily revised (You should check out what the article used to be like before I made an edits). Let me know if there is anything else I can do.
Aoba47 (
talk)
23:09, 3 June 2016 (UTC)reply
Thank you. It still blows my mind that I can get articles up to the GA level. As always, you have been a big help and I appreciate your comments.
Aoba47 (
talk)
03:20, 4 June 2016 (UTC)reply
Since it didn't just happen in the novel, but assuming-ly applies to the TV series as well, I would state "According to the 2001 novel..." instead of "In the 2001 novel..."
If I only bothered to read the next statement before writing that lol
The final statement in the first paragraph does not have any sources
First two sentences of the second paragraph should be combined via a semi-colon since they share the same source
I'd remove the "/DirecTV" mention since they had not affiliation with them when the series originally came out
I'd maybe explain Rodney Van Johnson's connection to the show when you introduce him and his opinion
Characterization
Absolutely nothing! :)
Storylines
Lineage and personality
Just preference, but I would introduce Julian Crane with his job, title, or position, such as if he was a businessman, I'd say "... a relationship with businessman Julian Crane..." or he was a doctor, I'd say "... a relationship with doctor Julian Crane..."
The statement "Alistair Crane raped Liz in Julian's apartment while he was passed out in a drunken stupor in the same room" is unclear on who the "he" was in the situation; was Alistair the one passed out or was Julian the one passed out?
Last sentence has not source
2001–02: Early appearances
I don't know if you need to mention that Kelli McCarty played Beth Wallace since you didn't mention who played Brian O'Leary, which would be Christopher Douglas by the way...
Rest is really, really good! :)
2002–06: Revenge against Eve and Alistair
Change to "In 2002, Liz returns to Harmony in response to a telephone call from Diana; she tells Liz about her true identity as Sheridan, her engagement to Luis, and Antonio's terminal illness.[19]" please; in this case it would be clear who the "she" is since Liz immediately follows the mention of the supposed "she"
Same thing with the mention of Rodney Van Johnson playing T. C. Russell
What happens to Liz after she "accidentally drinks poisoned punch"?
I don't know, but I guess after reading ""You are going to make love to me, or I'll kill you" and then stabs him in the back when he does not comply.", I expected that Julian was now dead, but his continually mention in the article proves otherwise. I haven't watched the show that much, so could you clear this up to prevent further confusion?
The last two sentences in this section needs some reliable references to confirm what they're stating
Removed the sentences as there was not way to source and they bordered on speculation either way.
Reception
Paragraph 1
I think the first two paragraphs could be combined. Just remove the double-enter in between them.
Paragraph 2
Nothing but the note I mentioned above... ;)
Paragraph 3
Anything else you could bring up or discuss "regarding the slashing of the soap opera's budget by "a reported $4-to-$5 million" to secure its renewal."?
I added some clarification. Let me know if more is needed.
Paragraph 4
Nada
References
All of the references should be in a consistent format, and given the language of the article, they should be in Month Day, Year format; please change them the ones needing attention accordingly
I apologize for this. I was not familiar with the date formats when I first did work on here so I messed up a lot with this.
Aoba47 (
talk)
23:09, 3 June 2016 (UTC)reply
End of GA Review:
What a very well-written article! Like standard procedure, I will be placing the article on hold for seven days! Great work again Aoba47!
Carbrera (
talk)
21:23, 3 June 2016 (UTC)reply
@
Carbrera: Thank you very much! This is one of the first articles that I heavily revised (You should check out what the article used to be like before I made an edits). Let me know if there is anything else I can do.
Aoba47 (
talk)
23:09, 3 June 2016 (UTC)reply
Thank you. It still blows my mind that I can get articles up to the GA level. As always, you have been a big help and I appreciate your comments.
Aoba47 (
talk)
03:20, 4 June 2016 (UTC)reply